


Celebrity Crush

by sky_fish



Category: Arashi (Band), Japanese Actor RPF, NewS (Band), Real Person Fiction, TOKIO
Genre: Acting, Finding Oneself, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Journalism, M/M, Mild Language, Multi, Paparazzi, Romance, Show Business, alternative universe, angst-ish, mention of a minor character's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-13 08:39:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 62,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11756121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_fish/pseuds/sky_fish
Summary: Ninomiya Kazunari - gossip journalist and paparazzo - is known and feared for sneaking into celebrities' private lives and uncovering their dirty little secrets before they even notice. Sometimes, he does not even back off from using flirting or – should the occasion arise – more to reach his goals. One day, he takes up the challenge to expose the past of contemporary popular actor Sakurai Sho, who is meticulously hiding his private life from the public . Will Nino be able to find something out?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pierrot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pierrot/gifts).



> Written for pierrot in the range of the Ninoexchange 2017. Your assignment gave me the chance to try out some new things, which is always an interesting and fun challenge. I hope I managed to create something to your taste and that you like the outcome. 
> 
> Huge huge thanks to those awesome people who helped me brainstorming for the plot and betaed for me, namely kittykaty, wendyjoly and my awesome beta jtayt, especially for your endurance and for bearing with my insecurities without killing me, and of course to our dear ninomod for your patience with me!
> 
> For reposting, I decided to split the story in chapters as it is quite long. I will update weekly on Wednesday evenings. As always, you have the choice to prolong the fun and follow the chapters posted here or go back to the Ninoexchange to read everything in one go. ^^ No matter for what you decide, I would very much appreciate if you leave me a comment with your impression on the story. Thanks! <3
> 
> Further, I added some more notes at the end of the respective chapters for those who are interested in some background information (although some things might be known already) 
> 
> Please enjoy!
> 
> Sky  
> <3

The sudden sound of paper rustling irrupted the peaceful silence in Nino's head. The young man frowned slightly, but he didn't move. Not yet. 

He wasn't sleeping, but he was still floating in the comfortable feeling of an afterglow, positively exhausted, calm, and completely relaxed. He had been stressed like hell today, his boss being an asshole, but after meeting with his best friend, he felt like Buddha himself. Well, Buddha probably would not use sex to reach this state of mind, but besides that, the young man felt pretty close to nirvana.

Nino grinned, taking a deep breath and let a small, satisfied sigh escape from his lips. That's why he loved sex with his best friend so much. It was the best way he could imagine venting his anger with the world, it literally made him climb down from any stress mountain his daily life hunted him up to. And the best thing, compared to when he was sleeping with other people – at least most of them, since they often used to be one-night-stands – he didn't need to jump up and rush out after finishing a steaming hot round, to get away, before they actually found out who he was and wanted to kill him. With his best friend, he was safe. Yeah, Nino considered himself very lucky that the man was willingly available for some _pluses_ in their friendship, whenever they needed it.

" _Tsuchiya Tao (22) secretly dating Drama Director – Age Difference 25 Years_ ," a voice besides him stated thoughtfully.

Nino turned his head and slightly opened his eyes, just to find his best friend, Aiba Masaki, reading aloud the headline on the front page of the tabloid he has opened in front of him. He was frowning and shaking his head in disbelief, his brown hair swaying slightly. The man was lying on his stomach, on top of a crinkled blanket, supporting his upper body with his elbows, and he was completely naked. Flipping through the magazine, he quickly found the respective article, skimming it with a mixture of curiosity and displeasure painting his face. He sighed, before he turned around to lie on his back, holding up the magazine with one hand, the pages showing a barely of age actress holding hands with a significantly older man, still opened.

"I never thought Tao-chan likes older men... I mean _so much older men_ ," he murmured to himself.

"You sound disappointed," Nino, said, raising his tired voice.

"Oh, you're awake? I thought I lost you to dreamland," Aiba asked, quickly looking at his friend to take notice, before he focused on the magazine again. "… She can do what she wants," he continued, although he sounded a bit sulky. "But just like the article says, this smells a bit like wanting to sleep herself up to the top… and I don't like that... Why, Tao-chan, why? You don't need this…"

"Why are you even reading this, Aiba? You're a fan of her, better stay away from gossip, then," Nino suggested, after sighing, feeling slightly frustrated.

For a moment, he even felt sorry for his friend, having ruined his image of the actress. Aiba often said that Tsuchiya was his ideal little sister, and so it was no surprise that now his protective instinct was coming through. Nino reached for the magazine, stretching his arm a little more, since he was a bit smaller than the other man, and tried to snatch it away, unsuccessfully.

"Because it's you who wrote the article and I read everything that my best friend writes," Aiba stated as a matter of fact, pointing at the small initials "N. K." written at the end of the article. "Even if it's shit like that," Aiba added in a low voice.

After another failed attempt of Nino to get hold of the magazine, Aiba shifted his position so that he was now lying on his side, the gossip magazine out of Nino's reach. The man continued looking at the full-page paparazzi picture with the young actress together with that man almost twice of her age. Nino could only imagine the pout on his friend's face when he heard a huffed noise.

"As much as I appreciate your loyalty, really, you don't need to read it," Nino said.

Aiba didn't listen to his friend and continued rambling, still examining the pictures of the odd couple. "It's really impressive though, how you could catch them in such a situation... They didn't notice you?"

"Nope, not at all, but that's my job after all, it would be bad if I sucked at it," Nino confirmed.

The young journalist turned towards Aiba to snuggle closer from behind. He lifted his hand to place it on Aiba's bare side and let it run over his warm skin, causing him to wriggle a bit under the touch.

Aiba took Nino's hand, guiding it to his front and pressed it against his warm stomach, to make him stop tickling him. He intertwined their fingers and if they were in love, Nino's heart would have melted. For a moment, memories washed over him. Warm, precious memories. He thought back at the time during high school, when he indeed had a crush on his best friend – just a little - and Aiba was nice enough not to dump him right away when Nino worked up the courage to confessed his confused feelings to his friend.

Things with Aiba were easy. Maybe it was because they have been best friends since childhood and walked through a lot of shit together. The loss of Aiba's first pet, the divorce of Nino's parents. No matter what happened, they had been in it together. They trusted each other unconditionally, and at that time, it just seemed to be the right thing to do, to be honest to each other and _try_. They hadn't become a real couple, but they accepted their curiosity and just tried. A lot of things. Made new experiences, discovered intimacy together, but first and foremost, they deepened their friendship. With time, things changed. Partners for each of them entered their lives and walked away again, but whatever happened, no matter what hardship they had to face when growing up, what stayed was their bond of friendship and trust, with their heart, souls and sometimes even their bodies. As long as they were both single, everything was possible.

Keeping all this in mind, the feeling Nino experienced right now, was rather a comfortable than exciting feeling. The radiating heat coming from his friend's body, made Nino almost sleepy again. The young man allowed his eyes to fall shut again. Just for a moment...

Finally, he continued, "Our magazine received an angry call by their managers after the publishing of the article, since they fell out of the clouds, when they saw it. That...," he wondered how to voice it, searching for the right word, "was… fun..."

OK well, _fun_ was probably not the right choice of words, but it was always a strange feeling that Nino experienced when he was on celebrity hunt. It was exciting, for sure, it was thrilling, sometimes even scary. But was it fun?

Aiba shifted a little in Nino's embrace, so that he could finally throw him a critical look an eyebrow raised.

"Is it really fun, Nino?"

Of course, his best friend saw through him immediately, but Nino didn't want to admit.

"What?" he asked instead, cuddling even closer against his friend's back.

"Your job," Aiba continued. "Is it fun?"

Nino didn't answer for a while, thinking what would be the best reply. He could only assume where Aiba was coming from, what he wanted to hear from him, but he couldn't say it. Neither could he argue to the contrary and so, in the end, he just slightly shrugged against Aiba's back and dropped a simple, "Well, it's a job."

"But do you like it?" Aiba didn't stop, and Nino sighed. Of course, he had caught on to the unvoiced insecurity lying beneath Nino's words. He just knew him too well, for too long already, probably.

"Sure thing, it pays my rent," Nino decided to add. It wasn't even a lie, after all.

Aiba grumbled frustrated. "You're avoiding my question, Nino."

Of course, Nino was. Because he didn't want to think too much about this whole thing right now. He didn't want to go back to all those dark places in his mind that made him doubt his choices, regret his past decisions, and wish for alternative futures. Not as long as he knew exactly that with things staying the way they were, nothing would change.

"Masaki, let's stop talking about work," Nino said, calmly. Instead of jumping further into the conversation, he found it much more alluring to start caressing his friend's back, so he started placing little kisses all over him.

"Stop that!" the taller man giggled underneath the feather like touches of Nino's lips, and finally tossed away the magazine in his hands to fully turn around and focus his attention completely on the man in his bed again.

"Let's get back to the important things in life, then," Nino added with a grin, looking up into Aiba's eyes, who mirrored his facial expression.

"You're not too sore for another round?" the man asked challenging, raising another critical eyebrow.

"Never," Nino shook his head, his eyes darkened. "You know I can take a lot."

Aiba smiled, as he crawled a bit closer, pressing their still naked bodies together again. When Nino started rubbing his member against Aiba's, they both sighed, comfortably.

"Comfort sex is the best," Aiba murmured, letting his hand wander onto Nino's small and firm butt.

"You need to be comforted that your _ideal little sister_ is growing up?" Nino smirked cheekily, teasing his friend.

"Exactly!" Aiba confirmed, an adorable pout on his lips.

"Well, then it's the least I can do to cheer up my best friend," the other man replied, his voice turning slightly hoarse, as he continued his kissing from before against Aiba's chest and neck, trailing up to his face.

"What's in for you?" the slightly taller man asked, suddenly, causing his friend to chuckle against his chin.

"Good sex?" Nino offered as reply.

Aiba laughed. "You've really become dirty, Nino."

The young man arched a challenging eyebrow. "Says the one who took my virginity..."

"I would do it again, you know? Just because you were so cute and innocent back then, that it must be everyone's ideal virgin-fantasy," Aiba chuckled cheekily, causing Nino to roll his eyes.

"Shut up now and let's get us some peace of mind," Nino said before he covered Aiba's lips.

\- - -

The next morning, Nino found himself back in his crazy daily life, surrounded by the nerve-wracking ringing of telephones, yelling of his colleagues and stressful paper rustling. Back in the office of the "Un[der]cover", a small but not so unknown, upcoming tabloid, specialized on – as the title made easy to guess – uncovering things, namely the private life and holy secrets of today's top celebrities.

Whether it was a dating rumour about a female idol, a scandal surrounding a seemingly incorruptible politician or a story about a club selling drugs to minors, the journalists of the "Un[der]cover" would know where to find their material. They would be there, and they would for sure take pictures and write an article about every dirty little secret they could dig up.

These people were good in their job, very good, and the best of them was one of Tokyo's most feared paparazzi, Ninomiya Kazunari. Ever since the young man started writing for the magazine a few years ago, fresh out of university, he had his eyes and ears (and hands) literally everywhere. For him, it was peanuts to find out the latest meeting place of a rock star with his affair, to sneak into private celebrity parties to spy on top actors or models, and he was responsible for about almost every cover story the magazine had published recently. But even if people knew how dangerous of a tab journalist Nino was, in most cases they failed to discover him until it was too late. By then, Nino would usually already have snapped an ominous picture or taken some fatal notes. Often, they even told him the information themselves. Yeah, somehow, he always found a way to be at the right place at the right time – or the wrong one, considering his victim's point of view.

Nino's secret method? Well, besides excellent research skills and the talent for disguise (Nino had already mimicked managers, drivers, make-up artists and other staff members, just to get close to his targets, and he had done pretty well, mostly), Nino was also a charming man with a good understanding of humans. This made it easy for him to quickly find out about people's likings as well as their weak points and sometimes, acting understanding, coupled with just the right amount of charming flirting was enough to not only get himself into a celebrity's bed, but also into some very interesting conversations...

Sure, there had been times in which Nino had wanted to quit and search for something else. Sure, there had been times when he sincerely considered Aiba's suggestion to start working for a more prestigious magazine and to not waste his talent at a gossip magazine. The work for a tabloid was anything else but prestigious and reputable, it was dirty, it was mean, it was nothing to be proud of and the longer you stay in it, the more it eats your soul.

Nino knew that. Experienced that. However, he had his reasons to stay where he was. And if he was completely honest to himself, it wasn't only the – admittedly good – money, no, it was also some kind of deep fascination that Nino had started to develop towards the show business and the people inhabiting it. It was almost as if he had become addicted after tasting just a tiny bit from their glitter-sparkling lives and with Nino's developed status, he literally had a certain amount of power.

"Ninomiya!"

The young journalist was working on the last edit of a new article, when his boss, Nagase Tomoya, coming back from lunch, suddenly stormed into the 8-man office that Nino shared with his co-workers, and stood right next to his employee's desk. 

"Yes?" Nino asked, alerted, as he immediately turned to face his superior.

Suddenly, a stack of notes that was sitting on top of a folder at the edge of the table, slipped and the paper was spread all over Nagase's feet. The man grumped, rolled his eyes and darted an evil look at Nino, whose eyes had followed the escaping papers and now were looking back into his boss' eyes, innocently.

"Pick that shit up and then get your ass into my office!" the man ordered in his usual grumpy voice, when he lifted his thumb and pointed behind him, accompanying the gesture with a quick nod towards a door at the other side of the room.

"Sure. Give me a second," Nino replied.

He quickly turned to face the monitor of his computer and pressing the shortcut key to save his current work, before he got up to collect the mess from the floor and shortly after, followed his boss to his private office.

Following a murmured command by his boss, Nino closed the door behind him, the frosted glass shaking slightly as he used a little too much force, but they both ignored it. The young man took place in the seat Nagase pointed at, and now looked at the man, curiously. Since it was always a bit difficult to read his boss' mood – basically, his moods seemingly consisted only of "grumpy", "annoyed", "stressed" and "super grumpy" – the summon into the boss' office could mean _everything_. It could be getting told off due to trouble with one of the magazine's articles, or there was another call by the lawyer (both happening quite often), Nagase could also invite one to drinks after work, or...

"I have a new job for you," the man, towering in front of Nino, said.

That was Nino's favourite option. "I'm all ears."

Nagase sniffed his nose, grimacing, before he folded his hands and leaned back in his chair. "Surely, you know Sakurai Sho, right?" he asked, causing Nino to chuckle.

"The directors' new favourite puppy?" the young journalist raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk forming on his lips. "Popular since a surprisingly strong acting debut in a getsu9 drama series two years ago, award winner of best leading actor in a TV-series and probably best paid in-his-30's actor of the year, but an enigma when it comes to private life. Of course, I know Sakurai Sho... or... _don't_ know him, in view of the situation," Nino finished his statement, following his reasoning.

"Exactly what I'm talking about," Nagase replied, snapping his fingers and pointing them at Nino. "No scandals, no matter how deep people dig, rumours dying before they become public, the world knows basically _nothing_ about that man, except his ridiculous love for food and that he's a horrible cook. He's very cautious. He either has a white vest, a beast as manager, or at least enough money to mute the whole show biz _and_ tab journalists," he listed and Nino nodded. Nagase grinned, and his eyes darkened. Nino knew that look just too well. "We didn't have much to tell about that guy until now, but his new movie is coming out soon, there will be a lot of publicity and I want _us_ to have something _interesting_ about him. That will be your new challenge."

"To uncover Sakurai Sho's dirty little secrets?"

"Exactly," Nagase nodded.

"I would not be the first one attempting to find something fishy about that man," the young journalist dared to point out. Definitely not the first one. But until now, as far as they knew, nobody had managed to succeed in terms of Sakurai Sho. "What makes you think I could?"

"You're my best man," Nino's boss continued, and he sounded very serious and the young man would be lying if he said it didn't make him feel a tiny little bit proud. "If someone in our line can do it, it's you. So I trust this to you. I want you to go deep. Deeper than anyone tried before. I want you to pull out the shit from his past and to throw it into his face, to see if his career will survive. Do whatever it needs to reach that goal!"

Nino hummed, tilting his head slightly. "As always, you're the devil, boss," he smirked.

"And you are my hell hound! If you manage to find something useful, your work will cover the front page and there will be an at least 5 pages special article. Plus a fat bonus, of course," the boss summarized, excitedly, slamming his hands on top of his desk with so much force that the penholder next to his computer was shaking. "You're in?"

"Of course, challenge accepted," Nino confirmed.

Nagase grinned, satisfied. "And don't forget – no pictures, no proof."

"Sure thing," the young journalist replied, before he jumped up to return to the office and his desk in order to finish his article so that he could start his new challenge.

This could actually become something interesting, this time, Nino thought, excitedly. The chance to write a full feature about the almost unknown private life of Japan's contemporary most popular young actor, was definitely more tempting than uncovering the 10th idol's affair with an older man, or finding out the name of the dog breeder where talent xy got their new Siamese kitten from. The true face behind the all so perfect, all so mysterious Sakurai Sho, writing a revelation about this man would bring light into something that thousands of people couldn't decipher but were dying to learn more about.

Everyone would talk about it. The "Un[der]cover" would be _the_ gossip paper people would buy like crazy and indeed, Nino could already smell the nice bonus deriving from the probably immense monetary income. But it was not just that. What was making Nino even more excited was that this would actually be something that would not only demand a nosy attitude and the right timing to snap an ominous picture of someone, but also actually require real investigative journalist skills.

Nino couldn't wait to get started.

\- - -

Nino's research on his new target was as fruitless as never before. Usually, he was quite skilled in obtaining the information he needed, either via the internet – especially social media being a great source of knowledge recently, even if it had to be enjoyed with caution –, getting first-hand confirmation through contacts, of which the journalist had quite a few. However, none of these people seemed to know any more about Sakurai Sho than what was already known, or at least, they didn't want to talk about the actor to Nino.

His last hope was now Matsumoto Jun, another member of the show business' actor family and – handy as it was at times like this – a friend of Nino, who even happened to co-star with Sakurai Sho in his recent movie.

The two men had arranged a meeting, like they did from time to time, but before Nino went down to business talk, they used their encounter to create some sweet time and while Matsumoto was off to take a shower after their act, Nino used the time to give his research another shot.

As expected, the internet was being useless. Very useless. It made Nino ruffle his hair and groan in frustration, and the annoying laughter of an American sitcom, horribly dubbed in Japanese, in the background didn't help.

Why did Matsumoto even choose this channel before he went off to shower? Admittedly, Nino could have joined him – the offer was probably still standing – but the young man had some work to do, especially, since he had not progressed with his new project at all for the last few days. But enough was enough and for tonight, Nino was ready to give up.

With a last sigh, he slapped his laptop shut and pushed the device towards the edge of the king-sized hotel bed he was currently lying on. The room wasn't anything too luxurious, but higher class than anything that Nino would ever be able to afford. The bedsheets were made from satin, the night view outside over Tokyo through the full length windows was breath-taking and the scent of fresh flowers placed next to a bottle of champagne on a coffee table near the windows was filling the room nicely. Yeah, it definitely had its nice moments to have an affair with an actor, Nino thought.

Matsumoto Jun was about two and a half months younger than Nino, but he was a veteran in show biz already. He had started out as a model in his early teens, then founded a pop duo with a colleague and together they were topping the Oricon charts for about four years until the duo broke up due to artistic differences. While his ex-partner followed his dream to become a rock star, Matsumoto decided to focus on an acting career, which he already had the chance to taste during his idol years. And he was good. Good enough to build a well-perceived image that brought him – even if not always main roles – a large number of roles and a broad fan base.

Throughout all these years, besides acting, the man had continued to model and thus had managed to build a network within almost all branches of the show business. His natural charm and his nice personality made it easy for him to connect with people and his knowledge of how to handle people helped him to maintain these relationships. Sometimes though, he even used these connections for some more specific goals... No, it wasn't like he was betraying his colleagues or blackmailing anyone or something mean as that. However, Matsumoto might drop a little hint sometimes, here and there, for Nino and then laid back and watched what happened.

He and the journalist had met in a celebrity bar at the beginning of Nino's journalist career, and for some reason, the two of them clicked immediately and somehow became friends and occasional lovers. While Nino found it very convenient to have a "friend" in show business, Matsumoto also decided to make use of his connection to the gossip papers. A little rumour here, a small leaked news there, and things were much more interesting and thrilling, than what they would be anyway.

The show business could be tough, Matsumoto had told Nino once, but it could also be boring, especially, when good contacts and dirty methods were the ones deciding on who got which job. And so, while Nino mixed up the celebrities a bit, Matsumoto made use of the chaos behind the cameras, made new connections, filled holes, and established an even more permanent presence in the show biz than before. If people worked with unfair methods, why should _he_ play fair all the time?

First, Nino was a bit critical about the man's attitude, but in the end, he learnt that with telling him such things, Matsumoto was being and living a more honest way in this dirty business than most other people.

The fact that the two men shared a bed once in a while was just a bonus, but one that Nino appreciated. It worked. It was hot. There were no strings attached, but they could just meet up and enjoy some time together and it was awesome. It was similar to what he shared with Aiba, and still different. It was fascinating. Like it was always fascinating which connections would arise when people met...

Of course, Nino had always played with open cards. Matsumoto was the last to expect that what they had was something exclusive, and he used Nino as much as Nino used him. Both, he and Aiba were aware that sex was one of Nino's methods to reach his goals. Like this, Matsumoto was not the only celebrity, Nino had shared his bed with, even if most of them had only been a one-night stand. Aiba even once said that he envied Nino for that fact, to which the younger man jokingly invited Aiba for a threesome, which had never happened, yet.

Matsumoto was taking quite some time with his shower, and so, Nino had no choice but to stand up and go search for the TV remote. When the young man got up, feeling a bit sore, the thin blanket that had covered him slipping from his naked butt, and with some – in his opinion too much – effort, he took a few steps towards the drawer near the bathroom door where Matsumoto had obviously left the remote. Finally, holding control over the device, Nino went back to bed, laid down on top of the silky sheets and started to zap through the channels.

There was the news – Nino zapped. There was nothing more depressing in the world than news. A cooking show with an idol duo of which one had no idea about cooking and the other came from a family of bakers was up on the next channel – could be fun if someone was actually interested in stuff like food. A baseball game – that was more to Nino's liking, so he kept watching it, but just for a few minutes, until it was over. Bad timing, obviously. Nino continued zapping further through the night programme, skipping the re-run of an anime he watched only recently together with Aiba and another sports programme that didn't interest him. He was ready to skip the next channel as well, since the running series seemed to be just another trailer for one of the too many crime movies that were showing in theatres recently, but then, a familiar face walked into the frame, and Nino let the remote in his hand sink.

It was the face he had looked at just too often on his computer for the last two days. Sakurai Sho.

Switching from a close up to a full body shot, Nino could immediately figure out that Sakurai was portraying a character working for the police, most likely, a detective. The man was dressed in a nice suit, which complimented his well-built figure, and wearing white gloves as well as a badge around his upper arm. His hair was black and short, the signs of an undercut at the left side of his scalp made him look cool, but the warmth in his eyes spoke of friendliness.

The journalist swallowed. He would be lying if he said he couldn't understand why people were hyping about that actor so much. He had a good aura, a good feeling for what he was doing in front of the camera. He wasn't overacting but also not too subtle, he was just... fascinating. And his looks, well yes, Nino was smitten, he wouldn't be able to hide that fact.

The detective had just exited from a car, and was walking towards a house cordoned off by barrier tape. When there was only his back to the camera, another silhouette joined him, the one of a short woman dressed in a fine female designed suit and her black long hair tied up in a ponytail. From the profile that showed when she turned to face the detective, Nino could recognize Aoi Yu.

Nino concluded that this must be promotional material for the new film that was coming up soon. He remembered to have read about it and indeed, in the preview text, more information was given away. The main character of the movie, which was supposed to be in the criminal and thriller genre, a police detective, was being portrayed by Sakurai Sho. At the latest, when Matsumoto – who was playing the role of a suspect, as he had told his friend proudly some time ago already – joined on screen, it was proof enough for Nino.

The scene cut to another crime scene, showing Sakurai and Aoi finding some hints to the possible solution of their case. A short sequence showing Matsumoto's character being put in prison, the look on his face innocent and desperate. A false accuse, perhaps? Blood. Another cut - a devastating look on the police detective's face, as this time, he seemed not only to recognise the crime pattern, but also the victim himself. More blood. Screams, bone-shaking screams and a painful grimace on the detective's face made Nino shiver.

Again, the scene was cut but this time, there was no more trailer material, but a studio. Only now, the journalist realised that he was holding his breath. He blinked, his mind still occupied with the horrid images from the movie trailer he just watched, but then, Nino immediately realised what was happening. He recognised the studio shown on screen as no other than the studio of charming talk show host Koyama Keiichiro with his popular night show "Talk is the Key" and as it seemed, tonight's guest was nobody else other than Sakurai Sho. What a coincidence...

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, this was our exclusive prolonged trailer for upcoming psycho thriller "Blue High", opening in theatres next month,"_ Koyama said, covering the studio audience's applause. He then turned to his guest, who was sitting across him in a comfortable chair. _"Sakurai-san, again, thanks for coming to my show tonight."_

Sakurai bowed, flashing the host and then the audience a friendly smile, causing clapping and excited squealing from the female audience.

_"I dare saying this was hell of a trailer, seriously, that looked amazing, right, everyone?"_

More cheering before the actor could even reply.

 _"Thank you very much, I believe that this movie turned out very interesting and I would be happy if everyone will go watch it,"_ the actor said in the usual polite matter. _"It's all thanks to the amazing script, the director and all the staff and my amazing co-stars."_

Koyama shifted a little in his chair, darting his full attention to his guest. _"So as far as we know, this time you are portraying a handsome police detective who gets involved in a series of strange cases, that seem to be oddly linked to each other."_

Sakurai nodded, leaning back and folding his hands leisurely in his lap. _"That's basically the plot; however, of course there's more behind it."_

 _"But I guess you are not allowed to tell us about any plot twists, am I right?"_ Koyama concluded.

_"You are right."_

The host released an obviously feigned sigh, facing the audience. _"Such a tease, our Sakurai-san here."_ Reluctant laughter. _"Anyway, it was worth a try. So unfortunately, we cannot discuss too much about this movie and your role, in order not to leak any spoilers."_

_"That's the nature of such movies, I fear. I'm sorry."_

Koyama lifted his hand, waving off. _"That's no problem at all. For the time being, it's sufficient to know that you are showing us a – I may add and I'm surely not the only one of this opinion - very handsome performance."_

The audience cheered.

 _"Don't flatter me too much, please,"_ Sakurai chuckled, his lips curling up into a genuinely slightly embarrassed smile. He looked damned cute, Nino couldn't help but notice. _"My co-stars are even more handsome."_

 _"I suppose you are referring to co-star Matsumoto Jun-san, model and ex-idol, who managed to establish his image as a very talented actor, as well as actress Aoi Yu-san, who is playing your female detective partner? And not to forget - Sasaki Kuranosuke-san, who is acting as your senior detective,"_ Koyama suggested, cheering from the audience in the back. _"I assume we have fans here,"_ he threw a look, wiggling his eyebrows, into the audience, causing them to laugh and Sakurai joined.

 _"In my opinion, I was surrounded by pretty faces all the time,"_ the actor summarized. _"It was a little bit overwhelming sometimes."_

 _"Did someone specific catch your interest?"_ Koyama offered, challenging arching an eyebrow at Sakurai.

 _"No-one specific,"_ the man replied, as expected. _"Everyone had a pretty face there."_

_"You are one of those pretty faces, Sakurai-san."_

Again, that cute embarrassed smirk on the actor's gorgeous lips. _"Oh please, stop that."_ The audience awed.

 _"Alright,"_ Koyama interrupted the fangirling. _"Since we cannot talk about the movie, please allow me to ask you a few questions, then."_

 _"Give it a try,"_ Sakurai said and this time it was him, who arched his eyebrow and threw the host a challenging look.

The show's host crossed his legs and lifted his hand to his chin, mimicking a thinking gesture. _"Something my audience and I are dying to know is whether this handsome face is solely for us, or if anyone has the privilege to see it in a more... private way."_

_"You are asking if I am currently dating someone?"_

Koyama nodded, determined. _"Basically."_

 _"I fear I cannot answer that question,"_ Sakurai replied, shaking his head, a cute smile on his lips.

 _"You're not even going to give us a hint?"_ Koyama wanted to confirm.

_"I'm sorry."_

_"There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, as always it is up to our fantasy,"_ the host moved on, not changing his position. _"What about recent interests then?"_

_"Testing new restaurants and trying to come up with boring answers for snoopy people."_

_"I take this as subtle critique, then,"_ Koyama chuckled alongside the audience. _"Political opinions?"_

 _"Everyone is allowed to have one, and it is up to the individual to share them,"_ the actor replied all correct and polite.

Koyama slightly tilted his head. _"Are you going to share yours with us?"_

_"I'm afraid, no."_

_"Well, my dear audience,"_ the host loosened his posture, turning to face the studio audience, _"I present you a collection of Sakurai Sho's typical answers to the questions we are all dying to get answered... I fear though that we are going to die before I can extract an answer from our enigma."_

Disappointed noises from the listeners.

 _"I tried,"_ Koyama added, pressing his hand against his chest in a dramatic gesture. Applause and cheering for the host followed.

 _"I am sorry for being such a boring guest,"_ Sakurai said, shrugging, his smile turning a bit cheeky. Koyama chuckled.

_"Not at all, Sakurai-san, not at all. You are highly fascinating as always and it's not that I expected to be able to unlock the mystery tonight, but it's my job to ask such questions, I hope you forgive me."_

_"Of course."_

_"So it's really true that you are not giving away any personal information at all,"_ the host confirmed one last time.

 _"Except if you ask me what I had for lunch,"_ Sakurai offered. _"I'd gladly share some restaurant recommendations with you guys."_

The audience laughed, and even Nino caught himself smirking. Of course, he knew this running gag already. Sakurai was known to be secretive about all his private life, but he was an open foody and had no problems delving into this topic whenever people allowed him.

 _"You should start a food blog or even better, a food tasting programme! "Sakurai Sho ni meshiyagare" or something like that,"_ Koyama pointed out, excitedly.

Again, laughter.

 _"That will be a good one,"_ Sakurai said, smirking. _"I may think about it."_

 _"Give me credits in case you choose my suggested title,"_ the host winked.

Just when the two men were finishing their talk, Nino could hear Matsumoto entering the room. He turned his head, just to find the young actor standing in the doorway to the bathroom, in his completely naked gorgeousness and only a towel on top of his head to rub his hair dry. Nino smirked and Matsumoto grinned back.

"You done?" Nino asked, letting his eyes run over the man's body once more, unabashed and not hiding his enjoyment.

"You really should have joined me," Matsumoto said as he let the damp towel fall around his neck. He obviously enjoyed Nino's look over his appearance and even shifted his position a little just to encourage the man to look again. "Sho-san is on TV?" the man then noted, drawing the journalist's attention back to the big TV screen.

Sakurai was now facing the camera placed in the audience to advertise his new movie, the trailer and basic information about its start date in theatres showing in the bottom of the screen. The host thanked his guest for coming, assured him that he would go watch the movie when it was out, and sent off his audience and viewers with his trademark sentence.

 _"Thank you very much for tuning in tonight, folks, and don't miss next week, when it's again time to unlock some interesting celebrities – maybe next time a bit more successfully-,"_ Koyama threw a played annoyed look at Sakurai, who playfully arched his eyebrow and the studio audience broke into a last flash of laughter. _"That's it for tonight's "Talk is the Key," good night and good bye!"_

"You call him _Sho-san_?" Nino asked, a frown adorning his face. "Does that mean you know him a bit better? Are you close?"

Matsumoto came closer, sitting back down on the bed and laughed over Nino's sudden journalist mood. "No, not really... Everybody on set called him with his given name. He insisted on it."

"How nice..."

"He really is. But... I think... he's really hard to decipher, isn't he?" the actor added, thoughtfully.

Nino nodded, understanding. He sighed. Like this, he doubted that Matsumoto could be of any help in this situation. He pouted slightly. "Maybe I should just bribe him with a gift card to an expensive all-you-can-eat."

"Sho-san?"

"Hm. He's my new target."

"Heh... I see. So, it's your turn trying to solve the enigma now. You're not the first one attempting this," Matsumoto pointed out.

"I know. But I hope I will be the first one to _successfully_ attempt this," Nino replied while he reached for his laptop, opening it again. A Sakurai Sho fan forum was displayed on the monitor now. "But it's tough. He only tweets foodies and the internet tells you literally nothing, if you don't count all these shitty fan theories about him that smell to high heaven. A group of fans seems to be profoundly convinced that – listen, I quote: _Sakurai Sho is the first of an immensely intellectual humanoid lifeform from the Andromeda galaxy, who came down to earth to study human food_. I mean, _what_?!"

Jun burst out laughing. "Who knows, they might be right. Sometimes he really seems to be from another planet and you should see him eating... as if he was starving to death... every time."

"Can't you really tell me _anything_ about him?" Nino asked making puppy eyes towards the young actor. "You co-starred with him, after all."

"Yeah but we didn't even have that many scenes together... when we were both on the set, he was either filming or preparing to be filmed," Matsumoto explained.

But Nino didn't give up. Just because Matsumoto didn't notice anything, it didn't mean he didn't _see_ anything, and perhaps, he would be able to tickle out some information from the man that he himself didn't even know he was holding. The journalist sat up, not minding his own nudity, as he looked at the other man, determined to get a step forward on his mission.

"Did you see him together with other people? Something strange? Anyone who stood out?" he bombarded Matsumoto with questions.

The actor frowned, and tilted his head, obviously trying to remember. "The only people I saw him with were his co-stars, staff members and his manager," he then summarized. "But there was nothing suspicious, not at all..."

"So there was nothing interesting," Nino concluded in disappointment.

"Nothing interesting," Matsumoto shook his head. "I think, his private life is either boring as hell or he is really taking very good care of who he's talking to about what."

"But isn't that strange?" Nino continued. "I mean I know and understand that even you actors prefer to have an amount of privacy, but come on... at the end of the day you _want_ to be in the spotlight, you _want_ journalists to ask you about hobbies and certain opinions, don't you?" If the journalist learned anything during his work at the "Un[der]cover", it was exactly that. Most celebrities wanted to show off, at least to some extent.

"I agree, most people want to share their private lives to a certain amount but of course, there are limits."

"Sakurai's limit is extremely low then, if you ask me," the journalist murmured.

"Which makes him even more interesting, right?" Matsumoto arched his eyebrows. "At least, that's what people say. That they are fascinated by him. They want to know more about him, they are almost obsessed."

"Sakurai is lucky that he's not a movie star in the US," Nino added. "Here in Japan, fans are usually much more moderate and respectful towards their stars' privacy. Sure, they are curious, but they wouldn't go to extremes to molest the celebrities in order to satisfy their curiosity. That's only, when people like me get into the game..."

"You professional molester," Matsumoto joked, amused. Nino ignored him. Then, after a few moments of silence, during which Nino tried his luck again on the internet forum to find anything interesting about Sakurai Sho, Matsumoto spoke up again. "Listen, since the new movie's premiere is coming up soon, do you want to join me?"

Nino frowned, but didn't look away from his laptop screen. "What? You mean, on the red carpet? And watch the premiere with you?"

"Yes, and attend the after party, of course," the actor added, his excitement growing. "I mean, my management told me I can bring along whoever I want, even a friend, but I have not invited anyone yet. I know you probably won't even need an invitation to sneak into such an event, but like this, you'll _officially_ get the chance to come closer to Sakurai..."

Nino finally turned his look to face Matsumoto again. "And what's in it for you?"

"I just want to help a friend, that's all," the actor grinned.

Nino placed his chin on top of his hand, his gaze critical. "Come on, Matsumoto, our relationship is a one hand washes the other sort of relationship. What's in it for you?"

"Fine, you caught me...," the actor rolled his eyes. He hesitated for a moment, until he finally started again, "You know that Ikuta Toma is starring in the movie too, right?"

"Heard about it," the journalist confirmed.

"My manager told me, he'll be coming with Ueno Juri -"

"- his inevitable girlfriend, if we can believe the tabs."

"Well, my manager hinted, that Ueno is actually in a relationship with another actress -," Matsumoto said and Nino made his "I'm all ears"-face, his fingers ready to type any relevant information into his keyboard that might leave the actor's mouth, but the man had to disappoint him. "– I don't know the name, don't look at me like that – However, rumour has it that she and Ikuta are actually only faking their relationship."

"An alibi-relationship...," Nino murmured, interested.

"Exactly."

"Why didn't I hear about that yet," the journalist murmured. Usually, many rumours found their way to his ears pretty quickly. "So you assume them both being gay?"

"That's exactly what I think," Matsumoto nodded, obviously excited. Even his cheeks had turned red.

"Let me guess further, you hope that Ikuta is actually available and you want me to act as your partner, to see how he might react...," the journalist concluded with a sigh, one eyebrow critically lifted.

"Bingo!"

"You think he'll get jealous? Sorry, I don't know what happened backstage with you guys but did he ever show a tiny little bit of _that_ kind of interest in you?"

"At least, we got along very well...," Matsumoto pursed his lips, slightly. "Ah, and don't worry, you don't have to do much. You don't need to act as my boyfriend or anything, we can't be too showy anyway. Officially, you'll be just my _friend_ , that's all. I just thought, I could probably mention something like you as my partner in front of Ikuta and see what happens..."

Nino smirked at the actor's cute pout. "Well, as I said. One hand washes the other."

Matsumoto grinned, taking the journalist's words as a _Yes_. "I'll get my manager to send you an official invitation to the premiere."

"That's really something," Nino added, catching up on the other man's excitement. "You know that my fellow journalists are going to hate me when they find out that I'm actually on the guest list and not just going as the media."

Matsumoto waved his hand, dismissing Nino's worries. "Just do what you always do and nobody will find out."

"So... what kind of person shall I disguise as?" the journalist grinned.

"Maybe a Korean upcoming pop idol?"

"Stop joking," Nino chuckled. "People might start watching out for me in that case."

"Well, you have the looks," Matsumoto winked at him, before he leaned down and kissed Nino, who closed his eyes in order to fully enjoy the gesture.

\- - -

It was the evening of the premiere of his new movie and like always, Sho was a bundle of nerves. Even if it wasn't his first movie premiere, it was still strange to go, walk over the red carpet and stand there in the spotlights, being stared at by fans, photographed by reporters and interviewed by journalists.

Sho was bad with such stuff. If he could choose, he would want to spend his whole day with reading and learning scripts, practicing and acting, that's what he was good at, after all, but being a celebrity and successful actor demanded more from him, including all kinds of promotion work his manager could come up with. This work was completely different from his main job, however, it was part of the package and he had to go through it, like everybody else. Lucky for Sho that even in these uncomfortable situations, nobody could see how he really felt. That was another advantage of being a good actor. Still, underneath the confident and friendly mask, Sho was scared. Whenever he was put out there into the world, he was always a little scared, questioning the choice of his career path not only once. He was scared, that sooner or later, people would find out what kind of man he really was…

"Look at you, Sho, you're above 30 and can't even properly tie your fly," a woman with long dark brown wavy hair and dressed in a breath-taking red dress sighed besides him, before she reached out for the man's fly, plucking it into place.

"Thanks, Keiko," Sho replied with an embarrassed smile.

Sho's personal manager, who was accompanying him to the premiere, patted the, now in her opinion, perfectly fixed piece of fabric and smiled back. They were still seated in the back of Sho's car, as it was slowly rolling towards the beginning of the red carpet. Still, there were a couple of cars in front of them, holding Sho's co-stars, other people connected to the production of the film, and prestigious guests. From the car in front of them, which had just stopped right in front of the carpet, a familiar man exited – Matsumoto Jun. He was accompanied by another, smaller, but not less handsome man, which Sho surprisingly did not recognise. He frowned, curiously.

"Look, it's Matsumoto-kun," Sho said, pointing to the front. "I wonder who's he with…"

"Hmmm," Keiko hummed, as she stretched her neck to catch a look at the people Sho was talking about. She then looked at the man besides her, smirking. "For someone who doesn't share anything of his own private life, you're quite snoopy about others, aren't you?"

"I was just wondering… I never saw him before," Sho replied to the woman's teasing. The man was quite small, had black hair and was wearing a well-fitted dark suit and a matching top hat of which many people would be envious to see how well it suited that man.

"He's your type, isn't he?" Keiko grinned.

Sho playfully rolled his eyes. "Don't be silly," he waved off. "He's Matsumoto's date, obviously. Other people's dates are not my type."

Keiko shrugged. "You would never make a move anyway, does not matter if the other party was single or not, since you're always only looking… But as much as I have observed the people you have been _looking_ at, I conclude that this man falls under your type, doesn't hurt to admit it."

Sho hoped that his acting skills wouldn't leave him high and dry now, as he felt embarrassment built up his chest. "It doesn't matter. I can't afford to let strangers into my life anyway, you know that."

"I know what you think, Sho, and you know I disagree," Keiko said, determined. "In fact, I think it would be a very good thing if you had a partner with whom you could talk about everything. Who you can trust, and share your life with. It really has its advantages, you know? It makes life a bit easier and much more comfortable."

"It's easier to hide your private life if you don't share it with anyone," the actor disagreed. "The less people involved the better."

"One day, you'll be a lonely man, Sho…," his manager replied in a low voice. She threw him a critical look. "I'm not pressuring you to go and flirt with your co-star's date or anything, I’m just saying that you probably should be a bit more open and once in a while let yourself get carried away when you meet somebody you might like. I'm just worried."

Sho smiled and put his hand on top of Keiko's, pressing it slightly. "I know. Thank you. But I won't be lonely. I still have you, Daigo-kun and Satoshi."

Keiko chuckled, a slightly bitter undertone to be heard in her voice. "Your only three friends in the world..."

"It's enough for me, you're the best friends I could wish for, more than I deserve," the man replied and Keiko leaned closer, placing a small kiss on Sho's cheek.

"Well then, my dear friend, it's our turn to walk out there now," she said, nodding out of the tinted car window to indicate that they should get out.

They somehow made it through walking along the carpet as well as answering the journalists' questions. Sho gave a few standard comments about the movie, its director and left some praise for his fellow actors, while Keiko besides him smiled into a camera and greeted her husband and little daughter, telling her not to go to bed too late. Sho smiled. The two of them went on to greet a bunch of other celebrities and guests, shook hands and exchanged smiles, until everyone was asked to take their seats in order to watch the movie.

After the movie, which seemed to set the audience in sheer ecstasy, there was a short Q&A corner on stage, featuring the scriptwriter of the movie, its director, as well as the main actors, namely Sho himself, Matsumoto, Aoi and Sasaki. They first answered a few questions by a host, before it was the audience's turn, and after that, it was time to clink some glasses at the after party.

Sho was standing a bit aside from the main happening at the buffet, as he preferred, to keep an eye over the whole situation. He was sipping on a glass of champagne, his stomach contributing small growling noises. As always, the nervousness before the premiere had kept him for eating proper lunch that day and of course, now, hunger was hitting him full force. Keiko had offered to go and get them something to eat. Apparently, a woman, who Sho recognized as another actor's manager, held her back for a chat though. Sho sighed quietly, his eyes glued to a couple of exceptionally delicious looking salmon-avocado sandwiches on top of Keiko's plate, which he started craving for immediately, of course.

He was about to start off and go get his food by himself, when suddenly, a familiar young man entered his field of vision, flashing him his bright smile, and accompanied by another, smaller man.

While Matsumoto immediately reached out his hand to shake Sho's, the smaller man, glancing through his long black bangs, that covered half of his face, only threw him a short but piercing look, which made the hairs in Sho's neck stand on edge for a second, and then lowered his head in a greeting. Keiko was right. That man _was_ his type indeed, as he was not only handsome but also held an amount of cuteness, that couldn’t be overlooked, but that was not all about it. For a short moment, Sho wondered, if he had been mistaken before and if he actually _knew_ that man. Something about him tickled a feeling of familiarity, but the actor just couldn't pinpoint where it came from… In the end, Sho simply mirrored the young man's gesture, before focusing on Matsumoto.

"Sho-san, congratulations on your great performance," the man exclaimed in high spirit, the enthusiasm running through his body almost jumping over to Sho through their linked hands.

The actor smiled, trying to hide his slight irritation. "Same to you, Jun-kun, you were splendid!" the actor gave back the compliment. Of course, he meant it; the younger actor's performance had been admirable.

"Thank you, I'm glad they didn't cut out all my scenes," Jun chuckled as they separated their hands and he offered his own glass of champagne for a small toast.

"It would have been a crime," Sho replied with a smirk as he clinked glasses with the other actor and his date, earning laughter by the two men.

"Sakurai-san, I am really impressed," Matsumoto's companion suddenly chimed in, immediately drawing Sho's attention towards him. His voice sounding deeper than expected and it was something strangely calming, Sho ridiculously noted. "Seriously, that was hell of a movie, it's been a while since I've been so thrilled."

"Thank you uhm…," Sho started, wanting to ask the man for his name, but the smaller one just continued talking without bothering to introduce himself.

"I am a complete newcomer and I do not know much about business yet, but I assure you that I sincerely admire your skills, Sakurai-san. You are a master of emotions, really!" the stranger suddenly started babbling.

Sho chuckled, slightly embarrassed but definitely flattered by the flood of adoration. "You're exaggerating…"

"No, I really mean it. You're my big idol and I wished I could become an actor of your class one day," the black-haired man shook his head, a charming smile on his lips, before he stepped a bit closer, to continue talking to Sho in a low voice, as if he was holding a secret conversation with him. "Would you mind telling me where you learned acting? I do not remember seeing any arts university or such on your resume… Ah-," an adorable chuckle escaped from the man's lips and he backed off a little, biting his lower lip and glancing at Sho apologetically. "I'm sorry, I hope you don't think I'm a stalker or anything but… you literally popped out of nowhere two years ago and I feel like we know _nothing_ about you!"

"Thank you for the compliment," the actor replied, flashing a polite smile. "I have to admit that I am a more or less self-taught actor, so I fear I cannot really give you any recommendation other than finding your own style and give your best."

"A natural talent then? Does it lie in the family, maybe?" the newcomer asked again, silently. 

Whenever Sho met new people and they happened to know about his profession, which was mostly the case, people would ask him questions. He was used to that. People were being curious. And for some reasons, some people's inhibition level about private questions was quite low when it came to celebrities, even if most of them managed to stay polite, just like this young man right now. The actor had learned how to deal with them, but still, it always made him feel uncomfortable and wanting to bolt out of the room.

"I am sorry but for the sake of keeping my family matters confidential, I cannot reply to this," Sho just stated his standard reply and faked a smile.

"Oh, I am sorry," the man chuckled again, as if he just realized what he was doing. "Sometimes I just can't hold back my curiosity."

"It's OK," Sho waved it off.

"That beautiful lady in red, I heard she is your manager?" the young man then suddenly asked, pointing into the direction of the buffet, as if trying to keep the conversation going.

"Yes, indeed," Sho nodded, taken aback a little by the sudden question, combined with another piercing look of those dark, beautiful eyes.

"You two are not… I mean…"

"Together?" Sho finished the newcomer's question before he chuckled. "No, no! Definitely not. She is married, you know?"

"You're very close friends, aren't you, Sho-san?" Matsumoto added, but his companion ignored him and zeroed back onto Sho, an irresistible smile on his well-formed lips.

"Maybe it's rude for me to assume this, but I guess, you've been mistaken for a couple, right?" the man said, offering a sympathetic frown.

"It happened, but luckily, we could set things right very quickly and there are no strange rumours any longer," Sho confirmed, internally rolling his eyes. He tried to sound as normal as possible, even if he felt more like throwing a _"Not that it concerns you."_ at the man. It was the hardest part of his job. Keeping his composure and not snapping at snoopy people…

"I see… Well, it would be a shame if Kitagawa-san and her family would have to suffer from that, right?" the stranger concluded, nodding understandingly.

"Exactly," the actor agreed.

The handsome stranger focused onto his champagne and took a big sip before continuing. "It's uncommon though to bring one's manager as company, aren't managers invited to the premieres anyway?"

"She would have participated in the event anyway, that's why it just made sense to come here together, right?"

"Wouldn't you prefer to come here with… I don't know… a _real_ date?" the man inquired further, a playful smirk adorning his lips.

"Well, I would probably prefer that," the actor said, with a shy smile.

"Eh?" the stranger surprised arched an eyebrow. "Are you hinting that a popular and handsome man like you is still alone?"

Sho simply shrugged, leaving it to Nino to interpret his reaction to his liking, as he usually did when people came up with questions about his relationship status.

"In case you're really still alone... Don't you miss it? Meeting someone? You know what I mean…," the stranger continued asking low-key.

When his hand accidentally brushed against Sho's, as he even came a step closer, Sho's heartbeat sped up. He swallowed, as he thought to recognize a slight flicker in the man's piercing eyes. If he didn't know that he was actually Matsumoto's date, Sho would be under the impression, that the man was trying to flirt with him… But that couldn't be, could it? His boyfriend was literally standing right next to them, after all. The accidental touch was gone as quick as it happened, but Sho's sudden nervousness stayed.

When the actor glanced at Matsumoto, slightly concerned about the development of the conversation and not wanting his acquaintance to misunderstand, the man seemed completely distracted from the scene though, as he was observing a couple of colleagues that was about to pass their table. Sho immediately grabbed the chance to escape from the conversation that was slowly but surely drifting off into a rather uncomfortable direction, and so he did something, he usually avoided. He called out to attract other people's attention.

"Toma-kun!"

The called man stopped short, a young beautiful woman at his arm, did the same, and the two looked into their direction, surprised.

"Oh, Sho-san, Jun-kun," the man, Ikuta Toma, immediately flashed them a friendly smile, and together with his date, he turned on his heel and approached the three men. "Congratulations to this successful premiere!"

"Same to you," Sho smiled, relieved over the distraction. He nodded slightly towards the young woman next to Ikuta. "Good evening, Ueno-san."

"Sakurai-san, it's a pleasure to meet you!" She smiled in return and repeated the most heard statement of the evening. "Your performance in the movie is splendid!"

"Thank you very much. Not more splendid than my co-actors'," Sho gave back, still being sincerely grateful and they chatted a bit about some certain scenes.

It was true that the immensely positive reaction onto the movie literally caused a weight to fall off Sho's chest. It was always a risk to take a new project and no matter how well-known the director, how good the script, how popular the actors and how clever the publicity, in the end, the audience was the only power that decided if a movie would be a flop or a success at the box offices. With the amazing feedback the premiere had caused, people could speculate that the movie would do its job and bring in the money, hopefully even make some profit. Also, not to forget – it would be one more decent job the participating actors would be able to add onto their list, ensuring their value and future on the market.

"Who's your company, Jun-kun?" Ikuta suddenly asked as he turned to the other actor, his eyes curiously browsing over the young stranger who fell silent since the abrupt end of his and Sho's conversation. He frowned a little, tilting his head. "I feel like I saw his face already but... I'm sorry, I can't really recall where this might have been."

Sho frowned. Wasn't that the same thought he had just a few minutes ago? Secretly burning to find out more about the attractive stranger, the actor's attention got distracted from his conversation with Ueno and he couldn't help but glance at the young man again, who just offered his killer smile. In the end, he still didn't introduce himself, instead, Matsumoto took over the job as he gestured at his companion.

"Ah, this is Nino, my... well...," he looked a bit embarrassed as he didn't manage to pronounce the _"date"_ lying in the air. Sho couldn't help but smirk at his suddenly shy and cute colleague.

"I'm nobody, don't bother, just a newcomer with no achievements worth mentioning," the young man – Nino – replied jokingly, waving his hand in dismissal.

"Nino? Just NINO?" Ueno asked, curiously.

"It's a stage name, of course...," the Nino-guy replied.

"Like the guys from EXILE use to have? Are you one of them?" the actress added, holding her hand in front of her mouth in awe.

"Maybe?" the man replied, throwing her a wink.

Ueno chuckled and reached out her hand to slightly slap Nino's shoulder. "Stop flirting with me in front of your boyfriend," she said, before she stopped abruptly, looking between Matsumoto and Nino. "I mean... sorry, maybe I'm saying too much." Yeah right, as if anyone could ignore that elephant in a room.

"No, no, it's OK, isn't it? We're among us," Nino shook his head, flashing a smile and letting his hand wander to Matsumoto's.

When the smaller man entwined their fingers and offered him a cute smile, Matsumoto blushed slightly, a very rare view, as Sho couldn't help but notice. So they really _were_ a couple, he made a mental note to his brain, and sending a copy to his heart. Thus, he probably wasn’t trying to flirt with Sho, but only expressed his admiration and offered a bit small talk. Sho could slap himself, internally. There he was talking big about not trusting anyone and not letting strangers into his life, and then he felt slightly hurt over some faked interest, he was pathetic…

"Hm...," Ikuta hummed, eyeing the couple, his lips slightly pressed together. Sho immediately got an inkling that the actor didn't really approve of what he saw in front of his eyes, either. "I think I heard my name somewhere, let's go, Juri-chan," the man then suddenly said, still not letting his eyes go off Matsumoto and that Nino-guy but offering his arm to his date. "It was nice to meet you, guys, enjoy the rest of the evening!"

"Good bye," Nino cooed.

Sho waved after the couple, staying behind with Matsumoto and Nino for another few seconds, but then quickly made use of the circumstances and excused himself too, to the buffet, to finally get away from the irritating situation once and for all, leaving them behind (and to claim his avocado-salmon-sandwich). The actor had reached the buffet, catching up with Keiko, and then dared to throw a short curious look back at the two men. He could see that Nino's hand was separated from Matsumoto's now and the two men were now obviously holding a slightly heated discussion. Something with these two was off, Sho thought, wondering if this meant trouble in paradise.

After Sho finally caught up to Keiko, though, who immediately handed him a plate filled with the delicious sandwiches she had collected for him, Matsumoto and his date were almost forgotten. He ate, chatted a bit with Keiko and her friend, and ate some more.

A few hours later, Keiko left the party in order to come back home to her family. She had advised Sho to stay for a little longer, making a bit small talk with some people, maybe even make some connections for future projects , and to simply enjoy the evening and celebrate.

The last part she emphasized, however, Sho just sighed. He wasn't the celebrating type. If it was up to him to decide, he would just have joined Keiko. He would have loved to pay her little girl a visit before heading home, instead of staying here and acting as if he actually enjoyed this. He tried, and in the end, he actually managed to talk to a famous producer about a possible project, making him promise to send him a script once it was done, and to exchange a few nice words with the editor of "Blue High" as well as the head of the visual effects department, both of which had done a great job on the feature.

In the end, at around 2 am, Sho decided that he had worked hard enough for today and that he deserved to go home. He said good bye to a few other guests, among others Matsumoto, who was still hanging around with that strange Nino-guy, who – again – threw him one of those _looks_. On his way out, he stopped shortly at the bar to check on Ikuta if he was OK. The young man seemed to be downing one drink after another, apparently holding a conversation with his cocktail umbrella whether he was more handsome than Matsumoto's date or not. Sho smilingly patted his colleague’s shoulder, ensuring him that he was indeed very handsome and that Matsumoto would most likely think so too, before he finally left, leaving Ikuta behind with a sudden glint of hope in his eyes.

His car pulled up in front of the location, his driver on time as always, just shortly after Sho's call, and Sho was almost able to breathe properly again, when he opened the back door and let himself sink into the soft leather seats. But that was just to stiffen up once more, when suddenly, just before the car took off, the opposite door of the car was pulled open and someone slid into Sho's car, as if he owned the place!

Sho couldn't believe his eyes, and he was about to protest, when he finally recognized the face of the intruder. Now, he was dumbfounded, just staring at the man, stunned.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the man said in his already too familiar sounding voice, "I must have made a mistake about the cars." He looked at Sho with an apologetic, almost angelic smile, just to turn it into a cheeky smirk shortly after, as he locked eyes with him again. "No, wait... this is exactly where I wanted to be. Good to see you again, Sakurai Sho-san."

Finally, Sho seemed to find his voice, as he cleared his throat and somehow managed to start talking, trying to calm down his raised heartbeat as much as possible.

"Nino...san..., right?" he asked with a friendly smile. "You surprised me. Shouldn't you be with Matsumoto-kun? You're his date after all, aren't you?"

"Oh, oh no, you must have mistaken about something," Nino chuckled, waving his hand. "I'm not his date. We're friends, that's all. Let's be honest, he's got the hots for Ikuta Toma, isn't it obvious?" he arched an eyebrow.

Now that the smaller man had mentioned it, it was like a missing puzzle clicked in Sho's mind. The way Matsumoto reacted when he met the other actor tonight, how he introduced Nino to Ikuta, how Nino acted and how he brought some distance between them as soon as Ikuta left the scene... And coming to think of it, didn’t Matsumoto spend a lot of time together with Ikuta on set? The signs were there, Sho just didn't interpret them correctly, apparently.

"You were meant to make Ikuta jealous," he concluded out loud. "And I think, you succeeded with your performance," he added, remembering in which state he had found the actor at the bar, just a few minutes ago.

"As expected, you're smart," Nino smirked, before he came a bit closer, leaning towards the actor, just to whisper something into his ear, sending an exciting shiver to run over Sho's skin. "That wasn't the only reason for my presence there today, though..."

Sho took a deep breath, before he locked eyes with the young man again, who had now retreated again, as if he hadn't just intruded into Sho's personal space. The actor swallowed. He was confused, his heart was pounding and his brain was working on over-drive. He couldn't be right, could he? Or was Nino _actually_ interested in him? It would be dangerous though, Sho thought, he couldn't afford to get his hopes up and develop an interest in an almost stranger, so the sooner he got him out of his car, the better. However, for some reason Sho just couldn't help but feel...

"Now you're curious, aren't you?" Nino interrupted his thoughts, his delicious lips curling up into another smirk and this time, he came closer, he even reached up his hand and playfully brushed a strand of Sho's hair behind his ear, before his whispering voice invaded Sho's senses again. "I _really_ wanted to meet you."

Sho snapped, and tried to push the man away, determined but not harshly. He didn't want to be impolite or cause any ruckus but he definitely needed to get some distance between them or he wouldn't be able to guarantee anything after. What irritated the actor the most though, wasn't even that this man, who he had met only today and was confusing him like nobody else, had the nerves to invade his personal space, but rather that Sho felt so excited about it!

No, Sho, no, stop thinking like that. This man is a stranger, strangers are dangerous and you are _not_ going to feel attracted to a dangerous stranger, Sho's inner voice insisted, trying to keep him grounded.

"Thank you...," the actor said, after finding back his composure.

"So, where are you going now?" Nino continued his now much more obvious flirting attempts. "Another bar? Home?"

Sho was still confused. It wouldn't be the first time that a man was hitting on him. However, even if Sho might maybe feel a tiny little bit attracted to the man, he had his principles. Which included, no too personal contact with colleagues nor fans, and especially not bringing anyone home, as the other might be hinting.

"I'm sorry but I think this is not of your concern," the actor decided on a diplomatic answer, but Nino didn't seem to be satisfied with that. The man was still close, but again, he slid a bit closer to Sho, until their shoulders slightly bumped each other.

"Don't be so cold, Sakurai-san...," another whisper reached Sho's ear, and then, suddenly, there was Nino's hand on top of Sho's thigh, slowly but surely starting to move in a caressing gesture.

"Uhm...," Sho wanted to say something, to _do_ something, to push the other man away, but his heartbeat has gone crazy and his body had frozen.

"I'd love to accompany you, you know?" Nino continued to purr besides Sho's ear, the movement of his hand becoming a bit more daring. "Won't you like to take me home? I promise you won't regret it."

Then, Sho exploded. He slapped away the man's hand, panicking, this time, not as gentle as before. He tried to sound composed and determined, but he doubted that he had managed to do that when he exclaimed, "Nino-san, please... what are you doing?!"

The young man didn't look too shocked about Sho's reaction, but lifted his eyebrows in question, almost looking disappointed, "Oh, you don't like it? And I was so sure..."

"Please, don't assume things, Nino-sa-," Sho started, but then, when the young man took off his hat and ruffled through his hair and the motion caused the actor to take in the facial features of his conversation partner once more, the thought that he looked kind of _familiar_ hit Sho once more.

He wasn't a fellow celebrity, no matter how he introduced himself before with a stage name or not, that had most likely been as fake as his role as Matsumoto's date but... that name, "Nino", "Nino-"... could it be? Then, Sho remembered their talk at the party and took in account the man's importunate behaviour just now, a completely different thought crossed his mind. He remembered a file that Keiko showed him at the beginning of his career, when she told him that there were people out there, mean people, who received their fucking paychecks by causing celebrities trouble... It clicked. Yes, he had seen that face before, even if it had not been among his fellow colleagues, but rather in a completely different connection. It had been disguised with a baseball cap in the picture Keiko showed him. Sho had been _warned_ of that man!

"Wait… I know who you are!" Sho said but Nino didn't sound surprised...

"Hm... Of course, we just met at the party," he just replied in his calm voice.

"No, no that's not what I mean!" the actor shook his head. "I already thought you looked familiar, but I didn't recognize you, but now that I see you closer... you are Ninomiya Kazunari, paparazzo and gossip rag journalist."

A sweet chuckle left the man's lips. "Who? You must have confused me with someone else."

"No, I definitely recognise your face," Sho insisted. "My manager warned me of you."

"Hah... is that so?" Nino asked, locking eyes with Sho again.

Suddenly, the teasing sparkle in the man's eyes vanished, making way for a much colder, calculating look. Suddenly, it was like there was a completely different man sitting next to Sho and when Nino smirked and slowly started _clapping_. the actor flinched.

"I know, some managers have me blacklisted but even so, most people don't recognize me. I was wondering if you might... and how long it would take you. So I challenged you a little bit," the man stopped clapping and brushed his hand through his hair before he leaned a bit towards Sho again, who held his breath. "So, shall I maybe feel flattered that you obviously recalled my features so precisely? Maybe... I am your type? You know, we definitely could... arrange something if you want."

Sho felt hot anger bubbling up his chest. That man had nerves... as if it wasn’t enough that he had been completely confused by that man, now he even turned out to be a fucking paparazzo?! So that flirting behaviour from before had had nothing to do with interest in him, but a mean for getting closer to him for a story? Because that was everything these people wanted – a story, a dirty story, stripping a celebrity's private life in front of thousands of people's eyes. Sho tried not to panic.

He took a few deep breaths, before he was finally able to speak again. "Don't you have any sense of shame?" he asked, glaring at Ninomiya. "Don't think too much of it just because I'm well informed about dirty workers like you."

" _Dirty workers_?" the journalist released that significant chuckle again, which made Sho feel unbalanced and still, oddly attracted, and that made him feel mad at himself. "Oh, well, you have _no_ idea _how_ dirty I really can be."

"And I prefer not to find out, thank you very much," Sho said through clenched teeth. He was disgusted by that person now, for playing with such open cards about his bad intentions, and even more disgusted at himself for the fact that probably, just a few minutes before, he had even _enjoyed_ that man's flirtatious gestures. "If you could be so nice and leave my car now?"

"You should watch out who you make enemies with, Sakurai-san," Ninomiya then said after a few seconds of just staring into Sho's eyes. "Just a well-intended warning."

"Good evening, Ninomiya-san!" Sho insisted. "Please do not try to contact me ever again."

Ninomiya didn't say anything more, but flashed Sho another grin, put his hat back on and bowed slightly, probably the most sarcastic bow Sho had ever received, before he opened the car's door and stepped out. He pushed the door shut and kept standing there, even when Sho ordered his driver to start driving, and he could see him from the rear view, standing there and waving after him.

Frustrated by the whole situation, and even more frustrated at himself, Sho fisted his hands, pressing them down on the leather seat and forcing himself to avert his eyes from the figure of Ninomiya becoming smaller in the mirror.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

If Nino said that he wasn't surprised about the outcome of his first meeting with Sakurai Sho, he would be a liar. Even if he had acted nonchalantly, even as if he had _expected_ to be found out, of course, that wasn't true. He did not expect at all to be exposed, at least, not so early.

Sakurai was right, there were some managers and celebrities, who knew about his existence and warned their artists, to keep an eye open and watch out for him, so that they wouldn't wake up one day just to find an unexpected revelation about themselves in the tabs. However, despite this warning, usually - just as Nino had told Sakurai - people didn't recognize him.

Nino didn't know if it was his unspectacular face, or if he really was that good in disguising, but he always tried his best not to be spotted, even if he was close to his respective targets. Nino had played stylists, staff members, even pretended to be a friend of a friend or a nearly forgotten colleague. He usually managed to get pretty close to his target, close enough to tease out a little secret in a supposed confidential conversation, close enough in reach for their wallets or cell phones to obtain some secret, exclusive information, or even, close enough to end up in their apartment. And Nino knew places that told more about people than they would expect, boxes underneath beds, the medicine collection hidden in the mirrored bathroom cabinet, or the stack of mail lying on the breakfast table.

Some celebrities were less cautious than people might expect, so it was often an easy game. They were human beings, just like everybody else, with needs and dreams, sometimes with too few friends or social contacts, and Nino filled in those spaces for a few, even if just for a short amount of time and with an admittedly low goal. 

However, Sakurai was much more cautious than the average. Nino probably shouldn't be too surprised about it, after all, there must be a reason, why nobody else had managed to extract something interesting and private from that man yet... Not even Nino's flirting worked, and usually, it _always_ worked, even for people who weren't known to be attracted to the same sex. Perhaps, Sakurai was secretly married for real? And more than that, a devoted husband, resistant to any temptation...

In addition, if Nino was completely honest, he wasn't even primarily frustrated about not getting close to extract any kind of interesting information from Sakurai during the evening of the premiere of his movie. In fact, he was even more frustrated over his unsuccessful flirting attempts, as he definitely wouldn't push that man out of bed, if they landed in one, together. Honestly, Sakurai was an extremely attractive and charismatic man. Nino had expected it; however, he didn't expect it to exceed his expectations _that_ much.

Close up, in real life, Sakurai was even more handsome than on TV or in magazines. He was a bit taller than Nino, and although he had sloping shoulders, he looked manly and strong. His secretive attitude, made him appear mysterious and composed, which was extremely attractive to Nino. His eyes were just beautiful and deep, his lips plum and red and Nino definitely wanted to kiss them when they were in the back seat of Sho's car, with Nino trying to get as physically close to Sakurai as possible. The actor's very unique scent was alluring and had made Nino want to get even _closer_ and bury his face at the man's neck, before pressing his lips against that incredibly soft looking skin, letting his tongue taste it...

"Ninomiya!"

Nino startled, as the voice of his boss pulled him out of his – admittedly inappropriate and at the moment very unproductive - thoughts. He shot up straight from his slumping position in the chair in front of his computer, and quickly turned his head to face the man, who looked at him, strict as usual, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Yes, boss?" the young journalist asked after clearing his throat, putting his fingers on the keyboard in front of him, to make it look like he had been actually working and not dreaming about actually seducing Sakurai Sho on the back seat of his car.

Nagase clicked his tongue unappreciatively before he continued ranting. "My office! Now!"

"There in a second," Nino murmured, saving the document he had been pretending to work on and getting up.

"Why is there no draft article about Sakurai Sho's secrets in my e-mail inbox yet?" Nagase came straight to the point as soon as Nino had closed his office door behind him.

"Because there is no draft ready yet," Nino replied, matter-of-factly.

Nagase arched a critical eyebrow at his employee. "What's wrong? That's not like you, you always send the draft right away but it's been days!"

"We still have time...," Nino tried, suppressing a sigh.

"It's true, the movie doesn't officially hit cinemas until the middle of next month," his boss admitted, unnerved. "But I'm waiting for a draft!"

Nino flinched. "I'll try my best to get something to you as soon as I can..."

"I thought you had a chance to approach Sakurai during the premiere?!"

"Uhm, I met him, indeed -"

Nagase sighed, like a bull, ready to attack and then, he continued talking, calmly and slowly, making it sound even more dangerous. "So, let me repeat my question. Why is there no draft article in my inbox yet?"

The young journalist ruffled his hair. It was rare that he had to explain himself to his boss in such a situation, but he wasn't a magician. He couldn't provide what he didn't have. "I fear, he's harder to crack than the usual celebrity. I don't really have anything interesting to write about yet..."

"Do I hear surrender in your comment?" Nagase challenges the young man.

"Of course not!" Nino immediately chimed in. "I just got started! All I say is that my first approach wasn't as successful as expected but I just need to change my strategy and try at the next occasion."

"So there _will_ be a draft coming soon?"

"As soon as possible, Boss," the journalist repeated.

The chief editor hummed, satisfied. "Good then, don't let me wait for too long. You're dismissed, so back to work with you. I also expect the revised version of your article about that idol's affair by tomorrow morning."

"Working on it," Nino nodded. "You should receive it within the next hour."

"Very good. Now shoo!"

Nagase gestured one last time with his hand and Nino just turned around and went out of the office, closing the door behind him and pausing for a moment to take a deep breath.

Yes, this case might be a bit more challenging than usual, but it didn't mean that he gave up. He was _far_ from giving up!

\- - -

Not giving up meant for Nino to give even more of his energy to his mission of uncovering Sakurai Sho's past. This might include a change of strategy, however, as expected but not less frustratingly, the journalist didn't have any success with any of his strategies so far and soon, he felt kind of lost.

In the meantime, Nino – having forced Aiba to accompany him - had watched every single movie, drama series and cm collection starring Sakurai that he could lay his hands on (yes, even re-watching those he happened to know already). Sure, Sakurai had been active as an actor for the few years, and there should be a reasonable amount to watch through within a few evenings. However, the number of Sakurai's works was remarkable, considering that he was only in the business for a couple of years, Nino had to admit. And he also had to admit, that the actor was _really_ as good as people said, at least, the more Nino watched Sakurai acting, the more he started craving to seeing more of him. Aiba even started teasing him pretty badly, saying that for the first time in quite a while, Nino seemed to have developed a celebrity crush.

Of course, Nino brushed Aiba's accusation away with the argument that he was only doing his job. This was simply research, nothing more. Still, Aiba continued teasing him, which went so far that he even told Nino it would be fine if he imagined that he was Sakurai, when they were having sex the previous night. Nino had felt the urge to punch his friend, but then he was distracted by other things…

Trying to trace more information about his target, Nino quickly realized that his contacts in show business were sadly proven to be useless in this case. His investigation skills seemed to abandon him completely, too. When he tried to find out more about Sakurai's past acting career, when he tried to find _anything_ about him acting in the past, he wasn't able to dig up any useful information at all. No small role in any late night drama series before his actual "debut", no stage play acting, he couldn't even find out from which college or school the man graduated, where he actually learned acting, nothing. It really was like the actor Sakurai Sho had popped out of nowhere a few years ago, storming the acting world overnight as a complete newcomer, with no previous records at all. As if he wasn't existent before.

Nino's natural conclusion was, that "Sakurai Sho" was actually an alias. It wasn't too unusual for celebrities to use a different name as stage name, however, usually, they at least provided some kind of biography, some milestones of their life, in order to say a few things about their lives prior their acting career. Not so, Sakurai. The only information about him on this Wikipedia page as well as the page of his agency, was his birthday, a list of the works he had appeared in since his fabulous debut, and the link to his twitter account on which – as Nino had already checked carefully – he only used to tweet pictures of food. The only thing, Nino was able to conclude from those pictures was that he recognized a few of the restaurants Sakurai had been a customer, but since they were spread throughout everywhere, he couldn't even draw a link to his possible residence.

Shadowing the actor to get some private information was also an impossible task. Nobody seemed to know where he lived. Sakurai's schedule was not known to anybody, apparently, which spoke for a very good and confidential crew and his manager's good organizational skills. There was only a single occasion, when a woman magazine's photographer leaked some information about Sakurai being in their studio to Nino. The journalist had been on another celebrity hunt at that time though and even if he interrupted it immediately and left to catch Sakurai leaving the building, as soon as he arrived , Sakurai had already left.

At some point, two weeks and two more dressing downs from his boss for the still missing draft later, Nino was close to throwing his computer out of his office's window. Of course, he didn't do that, since his boss would make him pay for it and probably even fire him. But seriously, he was stumped.

That was, until one evening, Matsumoto rang him up around 10 pm and slipped some highly confidential information, that he had spotted Sakurai at the celebrity bar that Matsumoto frequented. A very unexpected and rare view, as he added, since Sakurai was never seen in any bar or club if it wasn't the location of an after party to a movie screening or an awards show, but apparently, Sakurai was meeting up with a movie director, probably talking about the possibilities to act in a new movie.

 _"If you come here quickly, you might catch him after Miike left,"_ Matsumoto suggested through the phone, _"Or at least you might catch a few details about that new movie he's on..."_

Nino, who still had been working overtime to finish another feature for the "Un[der]cover" next to racking his brain over the Sakurai-problem, immediately slapped close his laptop and rushed home to ransack his closet for the hottest outfit he could possibly find. He pulled out some old black leather pants that he had almost forgotten, and a simple but also pretty tight black V-neck shirt which he hoped would flatter his slim figure. Posing in front of his bedroom mirror, Nino counted his choice of clothes a hit, even surprised by himself how well those tight pants complimented his small but firm butt. Yeah, this could work into his plan...

Although he was trying to hurry, Nino had to spend an extra minute in his bathroom finishing off his styling. He probably used a bit too much wax when ruffling through his mob of black hair, trying to form some curls, and then, off he went, hoping that Sakurai would still be at the bar, when he arrived.

About half an hour later, Nino handed one of his fake names to the doorman, telling him that he was one of Matsumoto Jun's close friends. He earned a critical look by the tall man in black clothes, but since Matsumoto remembered to put him on the guest list, he had no trouble getting into the bar.

The "Matsuoka's" was hidden in a side road in the middle of the city, but it was well known among celebrities of all ages. The bar keeper and owner of the place used to be a celebrity himself, drummer of a rock band until they decided to quit and lead a more casual life some years ago. He still held pride about his past, as the framed gold records, spread all over the place's walls indicated.

The comfortable main room was usually filled by small groups or even couples from all corners of the show biz, the small stage in the back occupied by musicians taking turns in entertaining the audience in an easy way. In addition, there was another, separated room, more disco-like, in which usually idols were rocking the dance floor. The bar in the middle of the main room was modern and stylish, large parts made of blue tinted glass, but several small, low hanging lamps were giving off a warm feeling.

And there _he_ was. Sakurai, sitting at the bar, his handsome face lit by one of the small lamps, facing well-known director Miike Takashi, of which Nino could only see his back right now. Nino's heart tumbled a little, when he saw the actor flashing his partner in conversation a sincere smile, something _he_ had failed to draw out of him yet, he noticed with a slightly bitter feeling.

The journalist took a deep breath, trying to calm down his throbbing heartbeat and make his suddenly heavy feet move. Why was he suddenly so nervous?! He was used to situations like these, he was a fucking tab journalist! He was a pro in eavesdropping, however, when his eyes focused onto Sakurai, nervousness overwhelmed him again. 

Nino tried not to stand out too much, when he progressed into the room, knowing that if people recognized him, he would get into trouble. In fact, he could even be banned from the bar, since it was known to be confidential. He had been lucky the past few times when he came with Matsumoto, that people didn't know him or simply didn't care, but he couldn't risk too much.

Although a few people near the entrance noticed his appearance, they didn't seem to recognize him. His styling as well as the dim light must be working in his favour, the journalist assumed. He decided to quickly pass by Matsumoto's table, who seemed to have a meet up with some fellow young actors and almost didn't recognize him either, with his new hairstyle. He didn't introduce Nino to the other people sitting around the table, but simply exchanged a greeting with him and gave him a thumbs up as he nodded towards the bar. Nino swallowed, and then – still nervous – finally approached the bar.

Sakurai and Miike still seemed to be deeply engaged in their conversation and so, they didn't even realize the journalist's presence, when he settled at the bar, two places away from the actor, who in his current position had his back facing Nino. He ordered a drink, and then concentrated on listening to the conversation between the two men.

Nino quickly figured, that if they weren't just casually exchanging opinions about a certain book by the popular mystery writer Higashino Keigo, they must indeed be talking about a new movie project. If he wasn't mistaken, Nino even recognized the story from the plot they were currently talking about. Sakurai seemed to be under discussion for the male lead, a geochemist, whose job it was to determine deaths as either accidents or murders and who ended up running into a very exceptional case.

Admittedly, considering the audience's reactions at the premiere of "High Blue", Nino could completely understand why director Miike had set his eyes on Sakurai for such a role, and if he was completely honest, hearing about the possibility of the actor being part of the movie, made Nino feel very excited.

Wait, the journalist frowned, was he just about to fangirl over Sakurai Sho?! He darted his look into his drink, twirling the slightly foamy surface with his straw. He could already hear Aiba's teasing, if his friend ever found out his thoughts. But no, this was not because he was looking forward to seeing Sakurai's acting skills again, this was solely a professional interest. After all, he could use _every_ information and leak it, if he wanted. That was everything behind it, right?

It took about another 20 minutes before the two men's conversation ended. Miike downed the rest of his drink, releasing a sigh of satisfaction, and then, handed some bills at the bar keeper, seemingly wanting to pay for his and Sakurai's drinks. The actor tried to prevent the older man from paying, but the director insisted on it, ending up receiving a polite and thankful bow from Sakurai, before he offered his hand for a handshake and left after promising to send the actor more material soon. Sakurai bowed again, offering words of gratitude, and then, as soon as the director was out of sight, turned to face the bar again, focusing onto his still half-filled drink.

This was it, Nino thought, this was his chance! He cleared his throat, paying attention so that no one would hear him, and then, he took his own drink and got up from the high stool he was sitting on, just to settle down on the one next to Sakurai. The actor simply sent a side-glance at the newcomer as he noticed his presence, before taking another sip from his drink. But then, he frowned, and turned his head again, to check the man right next to him again with more attention.

Sakurai's eyes turned bigger for a second, and Nino smirked, excited, when he realized, that only now, the actor seemed to recognize him. He took one last deep breath, and within a second, he set himself into the right mind-set, the one of the man he had came here as, the one of a professional journalist getting his fucking job done.

"Who would have thought we would run into each other again so soon?" Nino sing-sang, lifting the edge of his glass to his lips.

"Ninomiya-san...," Sakurai murmured, obviously not pleased to see him.

"You didn't recognize me, did you?" Nino asked, glancing at the actor and arching an eyebrow. "Shall I be disappointed?"

"Your hair looks different." The man next to him sighed discernibly, facing away from Nino. "I thought I expressed myself clearly when I asked you to not get in contact with me again. If you are stalking me, I ask you to leave."

Nino shifted a little closer and placed an elbow on the bar counter, bedding his chin in his palm. "Why so cold, Sakurai-san, I just ended up being in the same bar with you... In fact, I'm even a regular here," he lied. "So shouldn't rather _I_ assume that _you_ were trying to get in contact with _me_ , when you chose this place to spend you evening?"

"It's pure coincidence," Sakurai replied, trying to avoid looking at him. "I was asked to come here. It's the first time I set my foot on this ground."

"So you were meeting someone?" Nino cooed, pretending to be oblivious to the situation. "Let me guess, for business?"

"I may note that this is none of your concern, Ninomiya-san," Sakurai answered, just as expected.

"Then you're here for a private meeting?" the journalist asked instead, continuing to play all of the annoying paparazzo cards he could come up with.

"Please refrain from assuming things, Ninomiya-san," Sakurai said, drily before he flashed Nino a – fake - smile. "Just leave me alone so that I can finish my drink in peace, would you be so kind?"

Still, Sakurai didn't look away, so Nino made use of the situation and tried something else. He pursed his lips, knowing that he would look cute doing so, and sent the actor one of his best puppy-eye looks.

"It's sad to see you drinking alone, drinking alone is sad and lonely," Nino said in his sweetest voice, while he allowed his hand to slowly but surely reach out until he could touch Sakurai's arm. He let his fingers slide over the jacket's fabric, until his fingers slipped onto the warm skin of Sakurai's hand. Nino tried to ignore the small jolt his heart made at the touch.

"You should be grateful that I'm blessing you with my company, don't you think so?" he then said, smirking at the actor, seductively, but all that he earned was a freezing gaze from the other man.

"I would be very grateful if you would bless me with your _absence_ ," the actor stated, and for a moment, Nino felt a small stab in his chest.

"So cold...," he pouted, letting his fingers start drawing circles on the back of Sakurai's hand. Then, he stopped. "Are you scared?"

"Scared of what?" the actor asked with an arched eyebrow.

Nino came closer. "Scared that I may find out about... your secrets?"

Sakurai made a, just slightly longer than necessary but definitely noticeable, pause before he finally replied. "I don't have secrets."

Nino snorted. "Come on, Sakurai-san, we all do have secrets, don't we?"

"No comment," the actor said, taking another sip of his drink.

However, Nino noticed that Sakurai didn't gulp down the rest of the liquid yet, neither did he move his arm away from his hand, so at least, he didn't seem to be intending to flee right away. Maybe, this was a good sign. His heartbeat sped up a little more. Nino tried to ignore it, but when he broke their eye contact and leaned over to reach Sakurai's ear for a whisper, he could literally feel the nervousness in his throat.

"Isn't it hard to be a celebrity, having to hide everything?" he asked in a low voice.

Sakurai finally retreated a little, just to be able to lock eyes with the journalist again. "If people like you don’t go poking into things that don't concern you, we won't have it so hard."

"Touché," Nino giggled shortly, before he turned earnest again. If Sakurai was piercing him with his look, he could do the same to him. "But that means, there are indeed secrets, right?"

Sakurai snorted, unnerved, but didn't reply.

"Seriously, how do you cope with that?" Nino asked. "Do you have any special techniques?"

"I don't have anything to cope with. As I said, I have nothing to hide," the actor insisted. Slowly but surely, Nino became a little irritated.

"And you think, I believe that shit?" he slipped.

"Try and prove me wrong," Sakurai snapped.

"You're paying people to keep yourself in a white vest," the journalist offered, challenging. "But I know people like you. You are popular, your management tells you to not share anything of your possibly dark past... but one day, someone will find something, that is if you don't collapse beforehand and spill the beans yourself."

"Why would anyone be so stupid to do so?"

"Sometimes, people need publicity," the journalist replied, and he knew that he was right. There were indeed cases where pathetic c-ranked celebrities had to shove information down a reporter's throat, just to attract a bit of attention from the public.

"I don't need negative publicity," Sakurai answered.

"Or they need money," Nino continued, causing the other man to chuckle. He couldn't help but notice how cute that sounded. He swallowed but he didn't give up yet. There _must_ be something. There’s _always_ something. "Maybe shares? Or they like to gamble? Or to unleash some stress with... someone's company?"

Sakurai cleared his throat and then, for the first time, he leaned a bit closer to the journalist by himself, their noses almost touching and Nino could feel the heat radiating from the other man's body. He lowered his voice and a second later, Nino was able to hear the sexiest whisper, he ever heard.

"I don't want to sound level-headed but... well, you're a smart man, Ninomiya, aren't you?"

Nino swallowed, trying to ignore the pleasant shiver that was running down his spine at that moment. He had to keep it together, he couldn't lose it now. Therefore, he tried to keep calm.

"Well... I like to think so, yes," he replied, trying to sound as cocky as possible.

"Then you are certainly smart enough to realise that with my current popularity I certainly do not need to pay if I wanted to sleep with someone, right?" Sakurai continued whispering and oh yes, Nino would believe everything that man was saying right now.

The journalist forced himself out of his little trance. There was no time to melt away at the man's sexy voice and his piercing look, or the thought of how delicious his mouth might taste, Nino was still on a job. "So you have a partner? Or just once in a while flings?"

Sakurai turned away and Nino immediately missed his closeness. "Sorry, but no comment."

"Come on, tell me!" the journalist didn't stop. Instead, he abandoned his drink as well as Sakurai's arm and decided to circle his hands around Sakurai's elbow instead, pulling himself closer. "At least... tell me one thing that everyone wants to know about you."

The actor sighed, unnerved. "Which would be?"

"Do you prefer women, or men?"

Nino's heart stopped beating for a moment, in expectancy.

"No comment."

"So you like men?" Nino's heart started beating again, faster than usual.

"What makes you think so?" This wasn't a denial, was it?

"I'm simply observing," the journalist explained. "As you said, I'm a smart man. So it was easy to realise that people of your kind – celebrities, I mean - tend to immediately clarify that they are into women if they are accused of being gay. After all, the majority of Japan – although I don't include myself in this - still thinks it would be preferable for a celebrity, to be straight so at least officially, most of them are."

"People are still narrow minded, aren't they?" Still there was no denial.

"And you are not?"

"Not as narrow-minded as _you_ are with your quick assumptions based on my reactions," Sakurai shot back.

Nino pouted. "I told you, I'm just observing."

"You are _interpreting_. That's a difference," Sakurai remarked.

"Now look, who's the smart one...," the journalist chuckled and then, something unexpected happened. Sakurai turned the tables.

"Let me ask you now... are _you_ into men, Ninomiya-san?"

Nino's heart jumped. He took a deep breath, trying to stay as calm as possible.

"Will that influence your answer to my question?"

"No," Sakurai replied, dryly, and finally, he shook off Nino's hands. "You're assuming things from no basis and you have neither words nor pictures that speak against my neutral statement. And even if I _told_ you something, I know how the business works, Ninomiya-san. I know how people think. No pictures, no proof, right? Don't underestimate me."

"Sometimes you people have weak moments too and there will be other people to catch you in that exact moment. We could make a deal, you know? You tell me one secret and I promise to keep another secret for myself."

"That does not sound like an attractive deal, you know?"

"Of course, I cannot promise that no one else will find out and try to expose you...," Nino shrugged. "However, you shouldn't underestimate me. My influence in our gossip business isn't small. You might need people who protect you. People you can trust..."

Sakurai released another of those cute, dangerous chuckles. "Are you trying the nice guy card now? Want to talk me into selling something interesting from my past in order to protect… what, that _you_ think I _could_ be gay?" the actor laughed before he finally emptied his glass, put it back on the bar counter and then slipped off his stool, implying that he was about to leave. "Come on. I did not confirm that, you have nothing against me in your hands. And you can't really think that I'm actually foolish enough to trust someone like you, do you?"

Not willing to let the other man get away just like that, Nino also jumped from his stool, just to place himself in front of Sakurai. He decided to take a different approach, even if it might be more desperate than elaborate.

"Fine, maybe you don't want to trust me but maybe you want to take the chance and vent your stress a little bit?"

"Are you trying to lure me out to admit that I am interested in men – which, again, I did not confirm - or are you _actually_ flirting with me right now?" Sakurai asked, locking eyes with Nino.

"Would you like that?" the journalist asked with a smirk, taking a step closer to shorten the distance between them. "If I'd be serious about you?"

Sakurai didn't react and just kept staring at the young man. Nino kept his tail up and even went a step further by letting his hands wander to settle on Sakurai's hips. For a second, he expected the man to slap his hands away, but he didn't, he just kept standing there, staring at him.

"Don't be so shy, Sakurai-san. Despite being a gossip journalist, I can actually be very discrete," Nino purred. "That's part of my job. To obtain and contain information and to selectively make smart choices over when to share which pieces of information with whom. It could be to both our advantages."

"What is your real goal, Ninomiya-san? You know, if I didn't know better, I would think you _like_ me," Sakurai said, only arched a critical eyebrow, seemingly not moved at all.

He let one of his hands wander up, trailing the bottom line of Sakurai's shirt, slowly. "Maybe? You want to find out?"

"So, what exactly do you have in mind, Ninomiya-san?"

Nino smirked. Did he finally receive some interested vibes from his target? "Do I really need to tell you?"

"I dare you," Sakurai challenged him.

"Well," he whispered, taking one more step forward, his hand sliding up to the nape of the actor's neck. "Maybe, in the end, I just want to get laid by an attractive man…"

And then, Nino went the whole hog. He knew he was risking being pushed away, or to even getting hit, if the other man _really_ didn't want to comply his actions, but he decided that it was worth a try. He pressed his whole body against Sakurai's, the warmth making him feel slightly dizzy, and having to lift his chin just a little bit, he brushed his lips against Sakurai's in a long, slow movement. He had not closed his eyes yet, neither had Sakurai, who hadn't moved an inch in response. Still, the man didn't push him away. Nino wondered if he could go further, thus, he tried. He broke their kiss, parted his lips, just to let his tongue slip out between them and then, he slightly licked over Sakurai's plum, red, delicious lips.

Finally showing _some_ reaction, Sakurai let a small gasp escape, before Nino crushed their lips together again, this time with more force, with more passion, his eyes closed and his body nestling even closer, if that was possible, and abandoning himself completely in the kiss. They almost fell over, when Sakurai stumbled a bit backwards. The actor bumped against another empty high stool, reaching back with one hand to find some hold on the seat, while his other hand slipped up Nino's side, causing the young journalist to shiver pleasantly. He smirked against Sakurai's lips. He won!

They deepened the kiss, mouths hovering over each other, their tongues meeting in an intimate dance, and it was amazing, but then, just when Nino thought that he would never get enough of this, Sakurai eventually pushed him away.

Panting, with a racing heart and brushing the back of his hand against his swollen, wet lips, Nino glanced at the other man, whose lips didn't look much different. If it was Nino to decide, he would have jumped the other man with another kiss right away, however, the young man realized that the desire welling up his own chest, was not mirrored in the actor's eyes. For a moment, he felt hurt.

"You can't fool me," Sakurai finally spoke up. "I knew it… So _that's_ the type of journalist you are...," he chuckled, tauntingly. "You really go that far for information. Try to get people fall for you, aren't you?"

Nino swallowed, taken aback, but just for a second, before he found his voice. "It's not my fault that I'm an attractive man," he offered with a smirk.

"I despise you," Sakurai spit, throwing Nino a hateful glance.

"Didn't feel like it," Nino huffed, letting the tip of his tongue run over his upper lip. "You kissed me back, remember? Even with tongue."

"I took advantage of _you_ to confirm some rumours," the actor simply replied. "You're really something... So, are you happy now? What will you write about then, how I kissed you? About a secret affair between Sakurai Sho and the blacklisted paparazzo Ninomiya Kazunari?" The actor chuckled. Of course, Nino knew how ridiculous all this was.

"I am a _journalist_ ," Nino countered, though. Somehow, he felt like he had to defend his – little – pride. For some reason, he didn't like being looked down on by that man. Not at all…

"You are not more than a dirty gossip paparazzo," the actor concluded.

"Fine. I will find out your secrets even without your cooperation. And then, I will publish an article that will make you either love or hate me, depending on how _I_ decide to make things look like and on how people accept it. Your popularity might skyrocket or fall to zero overnight," the journalist hissed, even if he knew he was probably going too far.

He knew that it was a harder task to reach that goal without Sakurai's help, much harder than it had ever been for him when it had come to any other celebrity. Sakurai wasn't called an enigma for nothing, that much Nino had learned already.

"Was this a threat now or… I don't get you. We can take a short cut. I think I rather _hate_ you than love you, Ninomiya-san, and I am pretty sure that this won't change."

"You should better not make _me_ hate _you_ though," Nino spat back. "I shall say that my way of writing this article may influence the readers' opinions greatly. _That_ is the type of journalist I am. My choice of words can decide over a person's destiny."

Unexpectedly, what followed, wasn't a continuing rant by Sakurai, but silence. Crushing silence. It made Nino nervous, awaiting another reply by the actor, which took a few more couple of seconds, before Nino finally received it. But it wasn't what he expected. No badmouthing, no calling him names, it was a simple statement.

"You are wasting your talents."

Nino frowned. "Excuse me?"

"You are using your talents for the wrong things," Sakurai continued after letting out a huge sigh, giving Nino a serious look. He didn't look angry any longer or disgusted, rather he looked like he was pitying Nino now, making the journalist feel even more offended than before. "Does it make you proud to work for such a tab, to hurt people, and whore around? Is this how you expected your career to go?"

"What do _you_ know about my expectations, Sakurai-san?" Nino hissed, hoping that his bitterness wouldn't show.

"I'm just observing," Sakurai said, repeating Nino's own words. "I did my homework too. As I said, you shouldn't underestimate me. I know who you are, where you come from and how you work. And I have eyes. I can see a man with various talents, who either is too stupid to realize them by himself or too cowardice to use them in the right way."

The young journalist's eyes widened and he parted his lips, wanting to protest. He couldn't believe what Sakurai was saying right now. Did the actor do some research on _him_?! Was he using _his own_ weapons against him?! Before Nino even could say a single word in defence, Sakurai continued.

"If I could like you, I'd feel sorry for you," the actor said, raising a sarcastically compassionate eyebrow. "Wait, maybe I do feel sorry?" Sakurai came closer, placing his hand underneath Nino's chin and pushing it up slightly, bringing their faces closer again. He started to whisper. "Oh, what was that? Was that a flirt?" he retreated, glaring at the journalist, who only could stare at the actor in disbelief. "No, it was not. So you can write in your article that Sakurai Sho is not interested in sleeping with gossip paparazzi. Greetings to your boss."

And with that, Sakurai Sho turned on his heel, walking away, calmly, composed, the complete opposite of what Nino was feeling like right now. The journalist was still standing there, gaping, not able to raise his voice and shoot something back, a first for him. Usually, he was quick-witted and had answers ready, where other people were just… yeah, gaping with their mouths open like goldfish – just like he was that very moment. But this time, he was just unable to react.

Shortly after, Nino heard a thunk next to him and when he turned around, his eyes fell on Matsuoka, the bar keeper, who had put another drink onto the bar, nodding at Nino with a grumpy gaze.

"You look like you need it," Matsuoka said. "It's on the house. But after you finished, I want you to leave my bar, Ninomiya-san. _Journalists_ are not welcome here, I hope you understand."

Nino cursed, silently, brushing his hand over his face. Of course, the bar keeper had been listening to their conversation, and of course, his cover was blown. Nino had failed completely tonight and so, he just sighed, defeated, nodded at the bar keeper and reached for the drink to down it before wishing a good night and leaving the establishment.

\- - -

Once he was sitting on the backseat of a taxi, sending a message to Aiba to announce that he would be spending the night at his place, he received a message from Matsumoto.

_"How was it? Kissing those lips? ;) Lucky man!"_

Frustrated, Nino smashed his phone against the empty seat next to him, ignoring the sceptical look of the taxi driver that he could see from the rear-view mirror. He reached out to push his phone back inside his trousers' pocket and focused on staring out of the window into Tokyo's night view as it rushed by.

He didn't want to think about it now, the kiss, about how breath-taking it was and about how much he had wished for it to never end, and neither did he want to think about his following defeat, including his ban from the "Matsuoka's" which would make his work quite a bit harder. Even if he wasn’t there too often, the bar had always been a good source of information, and taking this away from him hurt. Not as much though, as his defeat against Sakurai. Remembering the scene, Nino simply felt humiliated. And what was that about Sakurai _knowing_ who he was? Did he really check on him or was it just a bluff?

However, the worst thing was that Sakurai was right. The same way as Aiba was right. Nino _was_ wasting his talent at that fucking tabloid, he knew it better than anyone else. He could have done so much more with his writing, he was convinced about it. He had graduated from university with awesome grades, he had _wanted_ to do so much more with his potential, but circumstances led to the current situation and then… he simply got stuck.

Nino had never really been a _lucky man_ , despite Matsumoto's reference. Instead, he had led a hard life and everything he reached was the result of extra hard work. His family life had been a pile of shards as far as he could remember, his parents fighting over every little shit they could find, venting their anger on their children when things became too much to handle for them, which happened just too often. Nino had tried his best to make his parents happy, or at least a little proud. To make them not regret that they decided to get married and give birth to their children.

Of course, he had been naïve. Having the best marks in his school was good, but it wasn't enough to keep his parents together. After his parents got divorced and he stayed with his father while his sister went with their mother, Nino decided that he didn't want his efforts to go to waste. Furthermore, studying was distracting. Distracting from all the depressing thoughts that would invade his teenage mind otherwise, and thus, Nino gave it his all. His father didn't have the money to invest in further education for his son, but Nino did so well that he even managed to grab a scholarship for one of the most prestige universities in Japan. He decided to study communication science and media studies, focusing on writing and he was good at it, convinced that after graduation he would be able to find a good job and pay back the scholarship, as well as supporting his father as best as he could. But then, things started to go downhill.

"Sakurai Sho's only secret is that he's actually a giant jerk!" Nino vented, first thing when Aiba opened his door for him.

"I thought he's known to be a very nice and polite man?" his friend asked between two yawns. It was late already, definitely bedtime for normal people, but as the good friend Aiba was, Nino knew he would listen to every rant, he might want to get off his chest, no matter what time it was. Nino made a mental note to return the favour in the future, when given the chance to.

"He wasn't nice to _me_ ," he sulked, slumping down on Aiba's living room couch that the other tiredly gestured him to.

"So like most actors, he doesn't like gossip journalists," his friend concluded. "What a surprise. Want a glass of water?"

Nino frowned, thinking about his friend's words until the latter came back from the kitchen with the offered drink. "So you mean, Sakurai being a jerk is a personal thing rather than a weakness of character?"

Aiba settled down next to his friend, handing him the glass of water. "Well, it's not directly _personal_ maybe, it's rather something against your... species?"

"Species?!" Nino snorted. "As if journalists were aliens... Not helpful, Masaki! Seriously, you won't believe how he behaved… After telling me that he "rather hates me than likes me", he said that I'm wasting my talents and that he feels _sorry_ for me, can you imagine?! That man has nerves; I tell you... he will regret to have talked to a journalist like that."

"You're angry at him because he's right," Aiba stated bluntly.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean, now?" the journalist groaned, frustrated.

"You know exactly that I think too, that you are wasting your talent at this tabloid," Aiba started, warming up a topic that Nino was sick of talking about and nevertheless, they always ended up on it somehow. "I mean, come on, if you're honest, you are not even _interested_ in gossip about other people. You pretend to be because it's your job, and people believe it because you're a good actor, but you can't care less, right?"

Nino pouted. "Stupid... I'm _very_ interested in this, it's my job after all and one's job is one's life!"

"And you hate it. I see the dark circles around your eyes. I see the frustration in them when you're working on an article. Of course, you're providing good work, because you have the skills, but you don't _enjoy_ it."

"I-I'm doing this because I _want_ to!" the young journalist exploded, still in denial.

Aiba just hummed, taking a sip from his own glass of water and then, he took a different approach. "Did you just admit that you are genuinely _interested_ in Sakurai Sho?"

Immediately, Nino blushed. "You're twisting my every word, aren't you?" he pouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest, huffing.

"I'm just wondering," his friend continued. "It's the first time I see you worked up _that_ much about a fucking article. And your whole behaviour… It's like you're _obsessed_ with him."

"I just want to save my reputation!" Nino started defending himself. "I got scolded by my boss three times already because I can't get this stupid article done."

"I'm sorry if this sounds mean now," Aiba interrupted his friend. "But I am your best friend and it's my duty to be honest with you," he locked eyes with Nino, who just glanced back, waiting for the next blow. "So let me ask - what reputation? The one of a gossip journalist? Don't act as if you're proud of that Nino, I know better! I know you since our childhood, after all, you can't fool me. Sakurai either stepped onto the last bit of pride you really have or you're simply, plainly obsessed with him!"

"Bullshit!" Nino snorted. He didn't get it, what was Aiba talking about right now, the wrong choices Nino made in the past, or his apparently obsessive behaviour when it came to Sakurai Sho?

"Did you kiss him?" Aiba asked after a few minutes of silence, arching an eyebrow.

The question didn't even take Nino by surprise, so the young man simply groaned, defeated, letting his head drop against the backrest of the couch. Aiba smirked, interpreting his best friend's reaction just too well.

"So you _did_ kiss him... which means you at least find him attractive," the man concluded before he continued babbling. "You might say that you're just using one of your _talents_ when flirting with celebrities but I know exactly that you only do so with people that at least attract you."

"It's enough now, Aiba, I mean it," Nino turned his head, glaring at his friend, and when he showed signs of wanting to get up from the couch, Aiba reached his hand to grab Nino's arm and pull him close to him. Still, he was smirking at him, superiorly.

"I attract you too, after all, or you wouldn't sleep with me, best friends or not...," he said, as he threw his arms around Nino to tuck him in a tight embrace.

Well, Nino couldn't fight _that_ , and like the magic Aiba was always doing, Nino's bad mood started melting away when his friend started kissing his neck, caringly.

\- - -

"You are lucky, that you already signed the contracts and there's going to be an official press statement tomorrow anyway, or Miike might kill you," Keiko sighed, when she pushed the new issue of the "Un[der]cover" into Sho's hands when Sho's driver stopped to pick up the manager to bring them to Sho's job for the day – a new CM filming.

On page 5, among the "New Ups", a small selection of short news and rumours, there was it, a small notice about Sho's new acting deal in Miike Takashi's upcoming movie, pushed in a corner and signed with the initials N.K. Sho did not even need to read them to know that this must be Ninomiya's little revenge on him, for what he did at their meeting in the "Matsuoka's". It wasn't too surprising, more surprising was that it took about a full week until the "news" leaked, but still, Sho couldn't hold back a frustrated groan.

"What's wrong?" his manager asked. "That's not like you..."

Indeed, it was the first time that the information about an upcoming job leaked before the official statement, Sho had to admit. Usually, he was more cautious and such information either did not slip at all, or he managed to bribe journalists with a small sum of money to resist publishing it. But this time, Sho had been surprised by Ninomiya's presence and after the heated conversation with the other man, the thought that the journalist might have eavesdropped on his and Miike's conversation didn't even cross his mind. His thoughts had been occupied with other things, namely rather how he would be able to resist Ninomiya, if the man would try to _get to him_ again, like he did on that evening. He was too careless.

"I'm sorry, I'll pay more attention, next time," the actor simply replied, not going deeper on an explanation for his excuse.

"Is everything OK?" Keiko asked further, a bit worried, frowning at Sho, who then quickly averted his eyes.

"Everything fine," Sho said but judging from his friend's following sigh and her critically arched eyebrow, he knew that she didn't believe him.

"Are you going to meet Ohno-kun tonight like scheduled?" she asked, letting the topic slip and Sho just hummed in return. "Tell him Daigo and I say hello."

"I will. It's sad you can't come with me, Ohno would have been delighted too, I'm sure," Sho said, offering her a small smile.

"Don't try to be nice, Sho, I think you can need some face to face talk with your best friend and I don't want to be the third wheel," Keiko smiled, patting Sho's thigh.

It had indeed been a while since Sho had the chance to meet his friend, Ohno Satoshi, being too busy with work these recent weeks, no, months, so it was really high time to meet him again. He had arranged the meeting already a few weeks ago and was looking forward to it since then, but now, his tension was comparably low.

Honestly, Sho hadn’t been sleeping well, recently. He was lying awake at night, he was waking up from nightmares, sweating, and then he had trouble to fall asleep again. With his job, sleep was an essential part of the necessary self-care in order not to burn out, however, the past few days had been draining.

Sho had not told Keiko yet about his problems, hoping that they would just go away by themselves. It wasn't the first time that after a big project, when the actor actually hit some down-time for himself, his brain started waking up thoughts and sorrows that laid dormant during the time he was working his ass off, which then kept him awake. Probably, he just needed another project to keep himself busy, and then things would become normal again.

At least, the actor tried to fight the suspicion, that this time, it wasn't just a simple problem of being "underworked", as Sho used to call it, but that probably, just maybe, the appearance of a certain someone in his life could be part of it.

\- - -

Sho smiled when he entered the usual restaurant, hours later, in which he had made a reservation for him and his friend. Since the shooting for the CM had taken a little longer than expected due to surprising weather changes, Ohno must be there already, waiting for him, and that was exactly how it was.

"Sho, how good to finally see you in _real_ again, man," Ohno greeted his friend with a beaming face, standing up as soon as the other reached their table in the back of the restaurant.

"Satoshi, it's been a while," the actor replied joyfully.

Sho was still wearing a facial mask and a cap to hide his face, as he usually did when he went out by himself, but of course, his friend recognised him immediately. They exchanged a brief but tight hug, Sho commenting on how good Ohno looked and Ohno giving back the compliment after Sho removed his disguise, although he couldn't help but point out the slightly dark circles around Sho's eyes.

"How are things going?" Ohno asked after they settled down and he quickly ordered a beer for Sho. "I saw you a lot on TV recently. That movie of yours seems to become a hype already although it's not even showing in the cinema yet."

"Indeed, it received pretty good reviews at the premiere," Sho stated, satisfied. 

"I'm looking forward to seeing it," his friend said with a smile.

They ordered a bowl of ramen each and while waiting for their food, they talked about recent events in Ohno's life, how work was going and how his wife was doing – Sho congratulating them again on the pregnancy which Ohno had recently texted him about, proudly - before they switched the topic to Sho's recent projects and achievements. It wasn't like Sho wanted to brag or anything, but when it came to Ohno, acting would always be a topic since in fact, Sho's acting career was connected to Ohno deeper than anyone would ever expect.

To keep it short, it was Ohno who – just a few years ago – did not only discover Sho's exceptional talent for acting and wakened Sho's wish to become a professional, but also changed his life. It had been a coincidence like no one would expect it to happen in real life, but when Sho said that Ohno _saved_ him, he wasn't even exaggerating.

It was during a very dark time of his life, when Sho had the luck to randomly run into Ohno, in this very restaurant. He had just packed up and left his home town after quitting his job, driven by a life changing event, and was wandering through Tokyo aimlessly. His bank account wasn't looking bad, not at all, since he managed to save up quite an amount of money over the past years. However, all the money couldn't buy him a peace of mind. Helpless about where to go and what to do, his only goal was to start anew somewhere, where people didn't know about his past, Sho was trying to find a job, but even more, trying to find himself.

At that time, Ohno, who apparently had collected some experience years ago as a stage actor before deciding to study psychology, had been leading a group of people in an – as he later explained to Sho - so-called "acting therapy", which was supposed to help them to express their feelings and confront themselves with their traumatic experiences and emotional dilemmas. It wasn't a usual kind of therapy, as you imagine someone sitting in front of a therapist trying to decipher your weird dreams, but it was a much more free and self-focused alternative, with the goal of not only facing your demons, but also finding solutions, alone or with the support of other people, that laid hidden by acting out unconscious approaches based on a deep understanding of oneself.

This was something, Sho had never heard about before, so when Ohno first spoke to him when he found him slouching at the bar, not even wanting to touch his delicious looking ramen, the man seriously thought, Ohno had gone crazy.

However, Ohno was deadly serious when he offered the stranger, with a smile, to come along and watch his group. He didn't push him to talk when Sho actually showed up in the room next door, which was apparently kept reserved for private circles like these, after deciding that he had nothing better to do with his evening anyway. Ohno simply allowed him to sit there at the back and watch and afterwards invited him to come join them again, which Sho surprisingly did.

In the beginning, Sho really did not plan to join the group for real or participate in their small skits, but he had to admit that it was fascinating to observe what was happening. He quickly learned that the participants in this group were just people like him, every one of them trying to cope with their own problems. The difference was, through acting out their situations, they were trying to _do_ something. One the other hand he was just waiting for better times to come, which he knew wouldn't just do so by themselves. His guilt was too deep, his problems too big for himself to face them properly, but still, he refused to let others help him.

It started with Ohno asking Sho in his typical calm voice to jump in and help out with a few small skits with his group attendants, and Sho didn't really see a reason why he should refuse to help. It turned out to be quite interesting, sometimes even fun, sometimes very emotional, but it always felt good, being able to help, and after a while, Sho thought that he might become better, that one day, he might become able to restart his life for real.

Still, it wasn't before another major break-down hit, that Sho finally realized what he wanted to do. Then, one evening, a few weeks after he first started helping out Ohno with his group, he had to play the role of a "ghost".

The young woman who was facing him during that play, had lost a friend after said friend committed suicide because she was bullied by a group of people at university and couldn't bear it any longer. The young woman, who wasn't part of that group, but also didn't jump in to help her friend, was eaten by the feelings of guilt, by the thought of being responsible for her friend's death, since she did not do everything in her power to help.

Ohno's specifications, which he sometimes told Sho in advance, was to face the woman from the perspective of her dead friend, and tell her that whatever happened was _not_ her fault. That no matter what happened - it was solely her friend's very own and personal decision to end her life, and that it was not the woman's responsibility.

When Sho voiced these words, the woman clenched her hands in front of her face, catching tears of relief which were spilling from her eyes. So it worked. This simple statement helped to sooth her mind, Sho realised, and he should feel good about it. However, for him, things were different and thus, in the end it was Sho, whose knees became weak and who slumped onto the floor, his mind fogged with dreadful memories and his eyes clouded from tears, as he started screaming to his heart's content, to get rid of the suddenly overwhelming emotional pain.

His own situation had been similar to the skit, at parts, at least, even if his own actions worthed much more regrets and much more responsibility, compared to the woman's, and it made Sho re-experience everything he did, everything he went through and everything he ran away from.

Sho suffered from an emotional melt-down that very evening, staying behind long after everyone else of the group had gone home, until Ohno finally spoke to him, offering to listen if Sho needed someone to talk. And that was what he did.

After knowing the man for several weeks and keeping his secrets for himself throughout the whole time, Sho finally told Ohno everything, pouring his heart out. He told him about his sorrows, about his nightmares, about the guilt that was eating him, and Ohno just listened calmly. He did not judge him and only listened until the man in front of him finished his story, in tears. Then, he placed his hand on Sho's shoulder and said the exact same words to him that Sho said to the woman during their skit. It made the man tear up once more, but at the same time, jolted some kind of healing process, which eventually made Sho feel better.

While challenging the demons of his past and continuing being part of Ohno's group, Sho soon realised that what he was doing the whole time – acting – might be his purpose. To be exact, to make other people and himself feel better through his acting. And with that, he suddenly had a life goal again. He might not be able to atone his sins, but he would be able to live his duty and _live_ to the best he possibly could.

\- - -

"So you're still having those dreams," Ohno sighed after listening to Sho, who was about to take a snapshot from his ramen with his phone, to tweet about his awesome dinner.

"Sometimes," the actor admitted, while hitting the tweet button. He put his phone away, and focused on Ohno again, even before he tasted his food. "You know you did a great deal to help me overcome my most critical phase, Satoshi," he said, sincerely. "But yeah, sometimes I still have those dreams. I can't fully escape from them. But I learned to accept them. It's part of my atonement."

Ohno looked up after taking a long slurp from his ramen bowl, his eyebrows knitted as he darted a look at his friend, to dig deeper. "I think it's normal, something like this can't be forgotten so easily, but – sorry if I am wrong – I feel like there is something else, isn't it?"

Sho bit his lower lip, averting his look from Ohno, to focus onto the delicious looking soup in front of him, his chopsticks in the one hand and the spoon in the other, ready. Still, he didn't touch his food.

"Is there more to the nightmares this time?" Ohno added questioningly.

Sho tilted his head, wondering how to put things, before he finally spilled the beans, telling his friend about the recent addition to his dream – a man called Ninomiya Kazunari (he spared Ohno the sexy part of those dreams, though, still trying to forget that he really had them), who – at least in his dreams – managed to find out everything about Sho and used that knowledge to expose Sho's crimes to the whole world, looking down on him, pointing at him, accusing him. These dreams ended with Sho being dragged to a stake by a thong of fans and acting colleagues, pushing him on top of it, and Ninomiya setting fire, which would burn his whole body and cause Sho to wake up, yelling and covered in sweat.

Ohno frowned and after another slurp, he placed his chopsticks and spoon on the table, so that he was able to fully focus on Sho. He cleared his throat.

"It appears to me as if your subconscious still fears of being punished, Sho" he started analysing his friend's dream. "But things are settled, as best as they could be, you told me back then."

"I know."

"Which means, you cannot be punished any more, right?"

"I know," Sho replied in a low voice. Ohno was right. Things were settled, but that didn’t mean that he could stop nibbling on his guilty feelings. Probably always will.

"OK, so that means, what you are scared of the most at this moment is that the truth will come out and as a consequence, it will be the end of your acting career," the other man finished his reasoning.

"I'm not Freud but yes, I guess that's what the dreams mean, yeah," Sho admitted.

Ohno hummed, resuming to eat in order not to let his soup turn cold.

"That Ninomiya-guy, you know, the one who's... setting fire in your dream," the man jumped in his thoughts. "It sounds like you see him specifically as a threat. Can you tell me more about him?"

Sho took a deep breath, but did not even hesitate for a moment, before he started telling his friend the whole story. Of how he met Ninomiya Kazunari, from the moment he saw him exiting Matsumoto's car in front of the red carpet, until he threatened him in the "Matsuoka's". OK, correction, he didn't tell the _whole_ story, he left out the kiss, for now.

"Why aren't you calling the police or threaten to sue him?" Ohno asked concerned when Sho finished. "If he's really harassing you, they should be able to do something against his behaviour."

"…I don't know, isn't that a bit too much?" the actor asked, tilting his head and furrowing his eyebrows. "Also, he's not a _stalker_ at least, not yet..."

Ohno slightly rolled his eyes. "That's probably because you're so discrete that it's almost impossible to actually stalk you, but if you ask me, it sounds like he _would_ if he _could_. He sounds dangerous..."

"I know...," Sho sighed again, rubbing his forehead.

He knew, better than anybody else, and still he couldn't help but feel his heart beat a little faster when his thoughts drifted off to the journalist, remembering the softness of his lips, the taste of their kiss... He shouldn't have allowed him to kiss him, really, that messed up everything.

"Still, you don’t want to report him," his friend summarized before he fell silent for a few seconds, the noisy background from the restaurant filling the pause in their conversation. He then locked eyes with his friend again. "Sho, is it that you rather _want_ him to find out about your past?"

"Are you crazy?" Sho blanked. "Of course not! I can't risk him to tell the whole world about everything!"

"Of course not, but maybe you want him to _know_ ," his friend offered carefully. "Your life as an actor is a very stressful one. You live away from your family, and you don't have a partner who you can fully trust with everything. This is just me guessing, but maybe you're unconsciously searching for a confidant."

Sho chuckled, incredulously. "I don't need a confidant, I have you, _you_ know and I can talk to my parents over the phone whenever I feel like it and Keiko and Daigo know too, that's more than enough confidants, if you ask me."

"But you don't have a _life partner_ , Sho," Ohno repeated, emphasising the last word. "Don't get me wrong, I am not judging you or telling you what to do with your life, I'm trying to look through what your brain and your heart may be wishing for. Believe me, it's absolutely fine if you are single and can handle everything and it's also fine to have only a few close friends, if that is what makes you happy. But – and this is just my guess – maybe you sometimes still feel a bit lonely."

Sho stared at his friend in disbelief. He wasn't surprised that Ohno looked through him completely, he _indeed_ happened to feel lonely at times. Of course it would be nice to have someone by your side, someone he could trust completely, talk about everything and just share your life with, but Sho had long given up on that dream, knowing that with his past it would probably be hard to find someone who would stay with him once the truth was out, not that he deserved it... However, the fact that Ohno brought this topic up in connection with Ninomiya and how Sho treated him so far, surprised him. It was true that he felt kind of attracted by the man, and it was true that he didn't want to asperse him, but this had nothing to do with the possibility of -

"You are trying to say that I _unconsciously_ consider him as my _life partner_?!" Sho tried to comprehend.

"At least, it's the first time that someone has such an impact on you, it's a possibility, as I said, I'm just guessing," Ohno explained.

Again, Sho released a nervous chuckle, his heartbeat almost choking him. "Why should I... I mean, why _him_ out of all people."

"That's probably something only you know, even if you still can't figure it out," his friend said. "For some reason, he seems to fascinate you. It's either something he did or something he is. Or... he's simply your type and your heart is of the opinion that your loneliness should come to an end." Ohno grinned.

"Could you please stop now?" Sho simply said, not even daring to mention that Keiko had said almost the exact same thing.

"Stop what?"

"I know you just want to help but I seriously just wanted to meet you as my friend to chat and... maybe vent my stress about a little irritating paparazzo, not be psychologically analysed," the actor said, flashing Ohno a pitiful smile.

"Sorry, professional habit, I guess," his friend smirked.

Sho seriously did not feel like talking about that whole thing anymore. His mind was spinning, showing him pictures that he had memorized just too well. Ninomiya on the evening of the premiere with that well-fitting suit and the handsome top hat, Ninomiya in those incredible tight leather pants and that sexy black shirt at the bar, his hair tousled and wild, the man's lustful eyes after they parted from their kiss... A lust that Sho needed to fight so hard not to show himself. But he couldn't. And his friend's assumptions were not helpful at all in getting that Ninomiya guy out of his head, either.

He couldn't allow this to happen. He wasn't supposed to live in a relationship. You never knew if it worked out. You could risk not only losing a confidant and partner, when things didn't work out, but you basically sold your soul to that person for the time of the relationship. Sho couldn't afford that. It was too risky. The world could find out about his sins. Especially, when it was someone like Ninomiya, and to begin with that journalist might not even be serious about him at all anyway, and would probably sell Sho's secrets as soon as he decided to trust him with them. No, he seriously couldn't afford that, Sho thought.

Although, if he was completely honest with himself, there was this tiny little bit of hope within Sho, that told him that maybe, Ninomiya wasn't as bad as he tried to make others believe he was. Sho had found out things about the young man that made him think – hope – that even if the man ended up in the place in which he was right now, he had good reasons and if there was a chance, he would maybe leave everything behind and start anew. Similar to Sho. Hopefully, _before_ it was too late, like in Sho's case...

"So… I did some research on him, you see?" he suddenly said out loud, allowing Ohno to hop onto his trail of thoughts, who lifted his eyebrows, curiously. Sho sighed when he realized how this must sound right now. "Not because of… Look, I did some research because I wanted to know how dangerous he _really_ can be, that's all."

"Hmmmmm," the other man pursed his lips.

"However," Sho continued after a quick roll with his eyes. "It's just that... he… reminds me a bit of myself. You know, how I was…"

"Hm… so maybe _that's_ what keeps you thinking about him," Ohno concluded. "Are you worried he'll commit similar mistakes as you?"

Sho hesitated for a moment, thinking, but then nodded slightly. As expected, his friend understood him better than he did himself.

"Anyway, I have no intention of letting this man into my life, and least of all, into my past," the actor stated, determined. "He's dangerous and if he finds out the wrong things and tells them to the wrong people, my career would be over. Just because he's my type it doesn't meant that –"

"So he _is_ your type," Ohno grinned cheekily.

"Stop now, Satoshi, I mean it," his friend stated bluntly.

"I know, sorry. You don't have to consider him for a relationship. Just, don't feel guilty for finding someone interesting or attractive, that's just natural, OK?" The other man gestured at the bowl in front of his blushed friend. "Eat your ramen, finally, it must be cold already."

Sho reached for his chopsticks and spoon and when he dipped it into the soup to try it, he found out that it had indeed turned cold. Still, it was delicious.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Notes/Glossar:**
> 
>  
> 
> The "Matsuoka's" is a fictional bar and if you guessed Matsuoka Masahiro of TOKIO being the owner, you guessed right. Nino's boss, Nagase Tomoya is of course also the one from TOKIO.
> 
> The movie directed by Miike Takashi is a reference to a real upcoming movie which is indeed based on a novel by Higashino Keigo. Right, I'm talking about "Rapurasu no Majou" and I'm already looking forward to seeing that movie!
> 
> Of course, Jun's "lucky man" is a shameless reference to Arashi's song with the same title.
> 
> I use the term "acting therapy" in the style of "drama therapy", which is a real thing. I learned a bit about it from a friend recently and even if I doubt that it is common practice in Japan, I found the idea interesting and very fitting to the story, so I decided to use it.
> 
> Thanks for reading, see you next week! ^^/


	3. Chapter 3

When Nino opened his eyes, staring up to the ceiling of his living room, the deep voice of the singer he had just listened to still resonated in his head. He could listen to the song again and again, right now, but nature was calling, so he ripped of his headphones, placing them on the couch and got up, planning to go to the bathroom, when he saw the screen of his phone turning on due to an incoming call. Recognizing his best friend's ID, Nino decided that nature could wait for another minute and snatched the device to pick up the call.

"Masaki?" he asks into the cell phone speaker, just to be greeted by a – not really positive – rant by his friend.

_"Nino? Nino! Finally you pick up! Where the heck are you?!"_

"I'm home, why?" the man frowned before turning his head as the doorbell rang. "Wait for a second, have to open the door -"

 _"I BEG you!"_ the journalist heard his friend's annoyed voice through the phone, no actually... the closer he came to his apartment door, the stranger the noises sounded.

When he opened the door, he realised that he could drop his phone, as Aiba was standing in front of it, his arms crossed, one hand to his ear against which he was pressing his phone, and a plastic bag hanging from the wrist of his other hand.

"High time, I'm already annoying the hell out of your neighbours," the man said, ending the call and pushing his phone into his trousers' pockets before letting himself in without waiting for his friend to invite him inside. "Didn't you hear me?"

"Oh, hey," Nino smiled at him, not bothering the way Aiba intruded into his apartment and pushed the door close. His friend could almost be counted as part of the inventory, anyway. "Sorry, no I didn't hear you."

"Don't _hey_ me! I was worried about you!" his friend exclaimed as he turned at him after brushing off his shoes.

"Why?" Nino asked, completely oblivious.

"We didn't see each other in a week! I tried to reach you but you didn't pick up the phone and ignored my messages for the past three days, so I assumed you need some space or are on a busy project or whatever, which is fine, but when I dropped by at your working place during lunch time to check on you, they told me you are _working from home_ but couldn't reach you either and now I arrive here and you let me ring the bell for minutes, like I'm nuts," Aiba rambled.

Nino quickly lifted his hand, gesturing his friend to stop for a moment. "I'm sorry to interrupt you but... just for a second, I really need to...," he nodded into the bathroom's direction and Aiba immediately stopped his rant.

"Oh sure, go ahead, please."

Nino excused himself again, rushing to the toilet, and was back in record time, just to find his friend in the living room, with two plates from the kitchen in one hand, and trying to find some empty space on the over-filled coffee table to put his bag.

"I brought some snacks and beer and some cake," Aiba started listing when he saw Nino coming back, who just arched a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Cake?" he asked slightly confused. "Do we have something to celebrate?"

Aiba almost dropped one of the beer cans he was just pulling out of the plastic bag, staring at his friend. "Are you kidding me?"

But Nino just stood there, looking cute, innocent and completely unknowing, the only thing missing in this scene would be the comical question marks popping out of his head. Aiba sighed and looking around, he probably shouldn't be surprised at the other man's reaction. His living room looked like a bomb had exploded, working material (which included tons of magazines, internet prints and what else Nino could find with at least half of them having Sakurai Sho on their covers) spread everywhere, empty cups of coffee lining the table, note pads and pens placed next to the opened laptop.

"You didn't expect visitors at all today, did you?" Aiba assumed.

Nino in the meantime had started cleaning up a few things to make space for his friend. "No? Why should I?"

"Do you even know what day it is?"

The journalist frowned. He _should_ know what day it was, as he used to be up to date with internet news and stuff due to his job and he was sure that his eyes had crossed the date at least a few times already today, however, he somehow managed to lose the essence of it, if there was something special to it.

"It's possible that I kind of lost track...," he finally admitted, looking at his friend, slowly but surely getting a bit worried. "Did I miss something important?"

Aiba looked at his friend with worry in his eyes. "Did something happen? Is everything OK? What have you been up to that it made you completely forgot your own birthday?!"

Nino's face slipped. "My what?!"

The young man reached for his phone, to finally properly check it, and indeed, the date showed his birthday and further, as he scrolled through his notifications, he had to notice at least 5 unanswered calls from his family and a ton of messages from friends and colleagues on LINE, congratulating him (and his boss virtually barking at him to show his ass in the office at least once a day). He sighed. Even if he was not the type to throw big celebrations on his birthday – preferring to spend a nice evening with his best friend over partying – it was the first time that he actually totally _forgot_ about the event. Aiba squinted his eyes and then, he whirled around and gave Nino a bear hug, pressing him close.

"I don't even know if I should feel sorry or upset now, Nino," he murmured. "Your birthday is an important day, you should not forget about it, seriously!"

"Uhm... I'm sorry?" the smaller man offered hesitantly, accepting the embrace.

"So how did you spend your _birthday_ , so far?" Aiba continued with a crooked smile as he let go of Nino and finally started to unpack some orange-lemon cake from Nino's favourite bakery, not too sweet, with just the right amount of freshness.

"Well, I... was listening to music with my headphones," Nino finally admitted, snatching his mp3 player from the couch, looking at the title flashing on the display. "Maybe I turned the volume on too high... Besides, I've been working, of course, you know?" he added.

"Nino, you don't need to justify your working habits to me," Aiba explained. "I'm just surprised that... Did the music make you forget about the real world?"

"Well, you know, that song...," the younger man started, reaching one hand back to rub his neck, slightly embarrassed.

Aiba couldn't help but follow his natural curiosity and stepped closer to take a look, his eyes widening when he recognised the track.

"Isn't that the single Sakurai released for his debut drama series back then?!" he asked. Nino bit his lips. "It's even on repeat...," his friend continued. "Wow, you really must _love_ that song."

"I think he should release another one, to be honest," Nino murmured, averting his eyes sheepishly, when he caught sight of a smirk forming on Aiba's lips.

"Isn't it unlikely, since he decided to focus on acting?" his friend asked, repeating the information Nino himself had already shared with him a few days ago.

"I know," Nino replied, sounding a bit worked up, and unable to hold himself back. "But it's a pity, his voice is so beautiful, his range is great, but especially when he's rapping or singing low key, it's just..."

Aiba reached his hand out to touch Nino's arm, causing him to stop _fangirling_. "Are you... are you having goosebumps? From that song?"

"It's a good song!" Nino defended himself, pulling back his arm.

His friend chuckled, shrugging. "I thought it's average but good for you if you like it."

"And it's really rare and hard to find a physical copy nowadays," the young journalist continued. "They didn't expect it to run out of print so quickly. But I found a signed version of the limited edition of the CD on ebay -"

"Nino... we need to talk," his friend then interrupted him, sitting down on the couch, pushing the two plates with cake in the right position and patting the empty place beside him.

Nino took place. "About what?"

"Don't get me wrong, I think it's... nice that you found something... someone... you _like_ so much," the other man said, worry painting his face. "But... don't you think you're getting overly obsessive with him?"

"Hm? No, no, it's not like that, Aiba, you know this is for my job, I jus-," the younger man immediately slipped into denial mode.

"You **are** obsessed with him," Aiba kept on, gesturing to the mess in Nino's living room. "I mean, just look around you, there's a pile of movies featuring him that you are re-watching although they don't help you at all to continue with your article, your room is literally covered in Sakurai Sho's face!"

"I told you, that's because of my _job_ , how often do I need to remind you that I need to write a several pages long feature about that man? There must be at least _something_ I can write about... This is called research, nothing else."

"Fine, reading some magazines and hanging out on the internet might be research, but being addicted to his song and searching for _signed_ copies of the CD online, is being obsessed!" Aiba argued.

"It's not!" Nino still insisted, maybe more to make himself believe in it than his friend.

Suddenly, Aiba reached for Nino's arms, slightly pulling him towards himself, looking at him, strictly. "Kiss me, Nino."

"What?" the other stared at him, confused.

"Just do it. Like always, come on!" his friend encouraged him and not even a second later, they were sharing a kiss, sweet and nice, like always, just like Aiba had said. When they parted lips and Nino opened his eyes again, he was just as confused as before.

"How was it?" Aiba interrogated, his eyebrows still furrowed.

"It was... nice?" Nino replied.

"And now, kiss me again but this time imagine that I am Sakurai Sho," his friend demanded, leaning forward again, just to be held back by his friend, who backed off a little while stopping his friend with upheld arms.

"What?!" he asked, irritated. "Are you crazy?"

"Just do it!"

Pushing forward, Aiba covered Nino's lips with another kiss, and even if Nino wanted to resist, it was like his friend's words had bewitched him, making him indeed fantasizing about how it would be to kiss Sakurai right now.

The young man was suddenly thrown back to the evening in the "Matsuoka's", where he had the heated discussion with the other man, until he ended up kissing him. His heartbeat immediately raised to high speed, the memories of said evening mixing with the presence of Aiba's kiss, and Nino couldn't help but sigh into their kiss, voicelessly, parting his lips willingly, going with the flow, and was soon melting into the imagination of Sakurai's arms, completely abandoning all the denial he had tried to put up for Aiba so that he would not find out how bad the situation about him and Sakurai had actually become...

Nino panted, when he broke the kiss with his friend, pressing him away with slightly trembling arms. His mouth felt hot and wet and he knew that his face must be flushing in deep red. His heart was still pounding like crazy in his chest, as if it was ready to spring out, and for a moment, he felt like he wanted to cry over the realisation that this was not real and that he had _used_ his friend to fulfil his desires... he felt horribly guilty.

"I – I'm sorry, Masaki, I didn't mean-," he stuttered at his friend, who was looking at him, surprised.

"OK wow, that was hell of a kiss," Aiba said, obviously trying to collect his thoughts. "I may say, that was much more passionate than _we_ kissed in a long while, Nino..." He didn't sound bitter or anything, he was simply stating an observation but still, it made the other man feel extremely unease.

"Could you please stop analysing our kisses?!" The younger man blushed even more, covering his face with one hand. This was so embarrassing, he was completely exposed of what he didn't even want to admit to himself...

His friend grinned, looking at his friend, teasingly, as he had obviously recovered his composure, to the contrary of Nino. "Are you freaking out now because I helped you to realise your crush?"

"My _crush_?!" Nino's voice made a weird noise. He cleared his throat. "Oh come on! Now, cake, thanks for the treat!" the man decided, in order to distract his friend from further analysis, reaching for his plate and tearing a huge first bite from his piece of cake.

Aiba looked at his friend but then reached for his own plate and started eating too, until he couldn't suppress his thoughts any longer and picked up the topic again. "You know... if you really like him that much, I think you should talk to him again."

"I told you how hard it is to meet him," Nino said after a few seconds of pause, munching on the delicious cake.

"Did you really try everything?" Aiba asked. "You're a celebrity hunter, Nino. Don't tell me you're done?"

The younger man stopped eating, holding the half empty plate in mid-air before he placed it down on the table in front of him, carefully finishing chewing his bite. He sighed, before he turned to his friend, throwing him a surprisingly devastated look.

"What if I meet him again and he really hates me as much as I think he does?"

Aiba hummed. "Then you may just want to make him like you."

"But how?!" Nino inquired, convinced that this sounded like a mission impossible with the current state of the situation.

"Tell him you can be a nice guy if you want," Aiba smiled. "It's not even a lie. Or tell him you won't write about him."

Nino groaned, frustrated. "That's not possible, I _have_ to, it's my job!"

His friend frowned. "Maybe you should reconsider. You can tell your boss the project is dead and tell Sakurai that he doesn't have to fear you anymore."

"The hell...," Nino mumbled.

In fact, it wasn't like his friend's idea was completely new to him. He indeed had played with the thought of backing out from this project, but considering how his boss might react to this choice and fearing the consequences, it was something Nino didn't want to face just yet. He could lose his job. And without a job, he'd be in trouble. He still needed to finish paying back the fees of his scholarship after all... But if he was completely honest, his writing file for the feature about Sakurai Sho was not only still empty because there wasn't much to tell, but also because Nino had long lost his enthusiasm to expose to the world whatever that man was hiding. He was still convinced that there was something... but even if he would be clever enough to find out anything, Nino might probably really want to keep those secrets to himself and protect the other man...

"I know, if this job really meant so much to you, this would be a stupid suggestion, but I know what you're thinking right now," his friend said. "You'd rather lose your job than write about Sakurai, don't you?"

"Masaki..."

"That's why you're not showing up at work," the man concluded. "Basically, you almost quit already, didn't you?"

"You're being too smart, stop that," Nino said, reaching for the rest of his cake. Maybe he had started mentally preparing - a little bit - but he had not run through any job advertisements or anything yet...

"Really, tell Sakurai. Tell him that his secrets are safe with you."

"He won't believe me... and first, I would need to find him."

"Maybe we can find a way!" Aiba smiled, trying to fuel some of his optimism into his friend's mood, the latter who had finally finished his cake and was now browsing on his phone. Then, suddenly, the young man froze and Aiba already thought, the miracle happened and Nino had found _the_ clue he needed. "What's the matter?"

"He tweeted something, just now!" Nino exclaimed, causing his friend to frown.

Was this another fangirl attack? Sakurai probably did not tweet his location just now, he wasn't that risky of a person, that much Nino had told Aiba a dozen times already. But Nino seemed truly excited over whatever that the actor posted, so Aiba couldn't just brush it off, leaning a bit closer to his friend to have a better look at his phone's screen.

"Look!" Nino pointed at the picture Sakurai had just tweeted.

"It's... a foodie," Aiba stated, anticlimactically. "Like his whole twitter, if I remember your information correctly."

Nino rolled his eyes, as if Aiba was just acting being oblivious. "That's not what I mean, look closely!"

"It's ramen?" his friend tried guessing again while stating the obvious.

"Well, yes, it is, but what's special about it is that it's not the first time he tweeted this particular ramen!" Nino replied, enthusiastically.

"Maybe it's from his favourite restaurant?" Aiba concluded.

"Which means, he's currently there!" Nino continued, cheering, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "He seems to be a regular in that shop. I'm so stupid, why didn't I think about this before?" the young man slapped his forehead. "If I can just find out where they serve this ramen, then I know where he is."

"And how exactly do you plan to find out which restaurant he is at the moment?" Aiba seriously wondered.

Nino was already at it, apparently, having pulled his laptop closer and his fingers flying over the keyboard when he searched through the internet, commenting on his actions.

"I'll search for similar pictures and if I'm lucky I can trace back to the restaurant -"

"Really, that sounds like an impossible task, this could be from _everywhere_!" Aiba noted.

"Don't underestimate me," Nino smirked. "I'm still a journalist, I have my tactics."

Aiba furrowed his eyebrows. "Well then... do you think you can find it fast enough so that he's still there when -"

"OK," Nino interrupted his friend, smashing one last key on his laptop before turning the screen towards his friend and tapping on it, excitedly. "He's most likely in the "Kujira Shokudou" in Higashi-Kanogei, Tokyo!"

"What?!" Aiba gasped at the younger man and then onto the laptop screen which showed the menu of a ramen shop website with a very similar photograph of the, probably exact same, ramen dish Sakurai had posted on his twitter a minute before. "How the hell did you even find that so quickly?!"

"That's not too far away...," Nino murmured, not really paying attention to his friend's question.

Aiba sighed, giving up, and instead tried a different approach. "So... what are you planning to do now? Go there and spy on him? Catch him for a talk?"

"What?! Are you crazy!?" Nino immediately panicked, looking at his friend as if he just suggested for him to jump off a cliff. But Aiba just kept looking at him, arching an eyebrow. "You're not even kidding, are you?" Nino then added, insecure.

Aiba shook his head, deadly serious. "I'm not."

"But how do you imagine this to turn out?" Nino frowned. "Do you think he's willing to talk to me? He may just kick my ass and run away when he sees me... Besides, after our last encounter, it's just too embarrassing to meet him..."

Aiba rubbed his forehead, releasing a frustrated groan before he turned to Nino, putting his hands on top of the man's shoulders and locked eyes with him, determined.

"Just before you whined about how hard it is to meet him. You showed me that in fact for you it seems to be peanuts to find him after all – and I still can't believe that all it needed was a foodie tweet but whatever – and now you tell me you're too scared to meet him? I tell you what you are, Nino, you are head over heels for that man, and believe me, if you don't even try to set things right, this will haunt you for the rest of your life and you'll end up like a bitter virgin regretting that you didn't even _try_ to confess to that one man who turned your world upside down!"

Nino blushed deeply, a cute pout forming on his lips as he started defending himself. "First, I'm not _head over heels_ for Sakurai."

"Sure," Aiba chuckled, earning a death glare.

"Second, I will _never_ confess _anything_ to him, and third, I think you know best that I am _not_ a virgin!"

"Well, definitely not but you get my point," Aiba replied, rolling his eyes. "No matter whether you admit it or not, I know you really have a problem with this whole situation but I'm here to support you. So I suggest you get your pretty butt up and go on _Sakurai-hunt_ now, for god's sake!"

And there they were again, the sparkles in Nino's eyes and when the young man asked his friend, if he'd come along with him, a slight but cute nervous hint to be heard in his voice, of course, Aiba couldn't deny his friend's wish.

\- - -

Nino was a mess when they finally arrived at the ramen restaurant. Traffic played some tricks on them, so it had taken them a little longer than expected, but now they were here, walking through the door, their eyes carefully scanning the surroundings, and then, Nino grabbed Aiba's arm, digging his fingers into his skin almost painfully, while staring into a certain corner of the shop. There he was, Sakurai Sho, slurping his ramen, accompanied by another person that Nino only glanced for a split second before focusing his eyes back onto his target.

"He's here, he's really here!" he whispered almost hysterically while Aiba tried to get rid of his painful grip.

"Keep it low, would you," the taller man hissed, pulling Nino, who apparently froze in his movements, to the bar in the middle of the room, pushing him to take a seat, facing away from Sakurai and his company. "Or they are going to throw us out before we can order a drink."

"Who is he with?!" Nino asked, keeping the volume down, as requested by his friend, who was right of course. He had to pull himself together, he couldn't afford sticking out too much.

"I have no idea," Aiba stated the obvious.

Nino frowned, craning his neck a little, trying to catch more of the man who was sitting opposite of Sakurai, before Aiba pulled him back again so that they didn't draw too much attention.

"I thought you're scared to meet him?" the man asked. "Like this, you're sticking out too much. First, we need a plan on how to approach him," he suggested, but Nino didn't seem to listen to him, his thoughts occupied with something completely else.

"It's not a celebrity, at least I don't know him..." the journalist noted.

"Maybe a friend?"

As if he still had not heard Aiba speaking, the journalist frowned again, throwing his friend a concerned look. "Do you think, he's on a _date_?!"

" _That's_ what you're troubled about now?" the other man rolled his eyes. "Oh my gosh, you're so totally in love..."

"I'm not..."

They kept silent, watching the two men having their conversation for a couple of minutes, but they were too far away to catch anything they said. While Aiba took care of ordering them something to eat, Nino just continued throwing eagle eyes at Sakurai, as if he was trying to read his lips. However, even if he was a man of many talents, that was not one of them. But suddenly, he clamped around Aiba's elbow again, almost panicking.

"Oh, fuck, they are leaving already!"

"Then what are you waiting for!" Aiba reacted quickly. "Go and catch him, talk to him before he's gone!"

But instead of jumping up and heading after the man who was just about to leave the restaurant together with that other guy, Nino felt his face turning pale and his knees becoming weak like pudding while his heart was doing things in his chest that made his stomach feel weird. Just the thought of having to confront that man now was turning Nino into a complete mess.

"No, I can't...," he heard himself saying in a broken voice. Damned... didn't he want to set things straight with Sakurai? Why on earth then was he chickening out like a scared child?

"Nino, come on, isn't this why we came here in the first place?" Aiba asked the exact same question the young man was asking himself at the moment.

"It was _your_ idea," the younger man protested and Aiba rolled his eyes.

"Come on now, don't tell me we just came here to stalk on him. Now don't be a coward, where's your freaking confidence?!"

"But, I... I'm not ready," the journalist decided to listen to his body and better stay where he was before he risked collapsing, or puking on the floor in the middle of the restaurant. Not knowing which would be actually worse, unfortunately, Nino considered both as very probable possibilities right now. "I thought I could do it but I'm sure he'll kill me if he sees me here..."

Finally, Aiba accepted Nino's condition, however, he surprised him when he said, "OK... then wait here, let me do this," before he jumped up and follow them.

"Masaki?!" Nino stared at him, shocked, holding him back by his arm. "What the hell are you doing, are you crazy?!"

"Just stay, I'll handle this!" Aiba repeated, making a soothing gesture towards his panicking friend, before he was gone.

When the order Aiba made arrived a second later, Nino couldn't help but eye his ramen sceptically, not sure if his stomach would be happy to eat anything at that very moment. It probably would not mix well with the cake and that huge bundle of nervousness inside him... He decided to ignore the food for now and craned his neck towards the exit, trying to catch something with his eyes, but he could neither see Sakurai nor Aiba from his position, too many things blocking the way.

\- - -

Outside, Aiba was lucky to be able to catch Sakurai, apparently, he and his companion were just about to get into a car, and usually, Aiba would just let them get on and drive away, since he didn't like to bother other people, especially not celebrities when he was lucky enough to see them. However, he was doing this for Nino, even if he did not have an exact plan yet, what _exactly_ he should do now, and time was running through his hands. Even before his brain decided on some kind of strategy, Aiba leaped forward, just in time to be able to talk to the man before he was gone.

"Excuse me but... are you Sakurai Sho-san?" he asked, acting nonchalantly, catching the other man in surprise, who turned around, sunglasses and a face mask that he had put on when leaving the restaurant, staring back at Aiba, who swallowed.

"Uhm...," Sakurai didn't reply immediately, so Aiba took advantage of the surprise effect.

"I'm really sorry to disturb you and please don't worry, I won't tell anybody, it's just... I can't believe I'm so lucky to run into you here, what a coincidence!" the man said, flashing his most friendly smile at the actor and trying to keep things low and discrete. "I really respect your work, you know? I'm looking forward to seeing your new movie!"

"Thank you very much," Sakurai replied.

In the meantime, he had pulled down the face mask and lifted the sunglasses in politeness, to be able to make eye contact with that man who suddenly addressed him out of the blue. Well, it was probably not the first time that some apparently fan recognised him on the street, Aiba thought, still, the man looked surprised. So, Aiba continued babbling.

"Ah, if it's not too much of a bother, can I possibly ask you for an autograph?" he asked, following a sudden inspiration, as sweetly as possible. "You know, coincidentally, today is my best friend's birthday and he has become a huge fan of yours recently, so I'm convinced, he will be delighted if I can give him something that you signed," actually, considering how much Nino had transformed over the past few days, Aiba was convinced that this was not even a lie.

To the man's surprise, Sakurai didn't seem to mind, and instead flashed Aiba a slightly amused and hundred percent attractive smile. Aiba noted, that maybe, he could understand a bit better now, why Nino was so completely out of it, when it came to this man.

"You're very considerate of your friend," Sakurai said, causing Aiba to chuckle at the unexpected compliment.

"He's just too cute with his little crush on you...," the man said, smiling.

"Well, do you have something to sign on on hand, then?" the actor in front of him then asked, and Aiba almost couldn't believe, that the man actually seemed to be willing to grant his request.

"Actually, I do!" Aiba replied, when he remembered something in his pocket. "I bought this acting magazine today with you on the cover and that feature on the inside, please wait a second...," he reached for his bag, searching for the said item and a second later, he fished out the latest volume of "+act", quickly flipping through the pages until he found a series of photos featuring the actor. He beamed at Sakurai when he showed him the magazine. "Here it is! Ah... I don't have a pen though..."

Suddenly, Sakurai's companion jumped into the conversation, offering to go back inside to ask the shop owner for a pen, and it didn't even take a full minute before he was back again.

"Thank you, Satoshi," Sakurai smiled when he took the pen and uncapped it, while placing the magazine against the car's window so that he could write on it, properly. He turned to face Aiba again. "So, what's your friend's name?"

"Kazu!" the man replied without hesitation.

"OK, so...," the actor focused onto the glossy page in front of him, letting the pen brush over it in a smooth movement before he leaned over to blow slightly against the colour to dry, and then turned back to Aiba, holding the still open magazine at him. "This is it, here you go."

"Oh gosh, that's so awesome, he'll freak out, I swear!" Aiba murmured, carefully taking the magazine into his hands and beamed at the actor, gratitude shining from his face. "Thank you so much, really!"

"It's been my pleasure," Sakurai giggled. "Forward my greetings to your friend."

The other man nodded, excitedly, and then, when he noticed that Sakurai was finally about to get into the car, he suddenly had another idea and decided to go a step further, trying his luck. He took another step forward and cleared his throat, to attract the actor's attention again.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I bother you again," Aiba started. "In fact, I have a question... or rather, I need some advice." Sakurai arched a questioning eyebrow, obviously surprised over the other man's words, who then continued speaking. "Since you are such a friendly person and I'm sure you know how to handle such situations, I wonder, if you can help me with it?"

Even if Aiba almost expected the actor's patience to have reached its end, surprisingly, Sakurai didn't seem annoyed by the second request, and instead asked in a surprised but friendly voice, "What can that be?"

Aiba tilted his head to make his worries appear real, when he started to explain a more or less fictional problem.

"To be honest, I recently had a pretty bad fight with someone that I barely know. We only happen to meet casually and I don't even know when I'll be able to see him again. However, that person offended me quite badly but... I wonder, just assuming we meet again and that person apologizes... should I give him a second chance?"

"Hm...," Sakurai frowned, as if he really considered the man's question, and then, he offered a reply. "That's a tough question and it surely depends on the situation, but in general I'd say that every person deserves a second chance. So my advice is, that you should probably consider it."

"I see!" Aiba couldn't help but let a broad smile wash over his face. He bowed slightly. "That really helped a lot, Sakurai-san, thank you so much!"

"I'm glad if I can be of help," the actor replied and finally followed the other man into his car. "Good evening," he said to Aiba before closing the door.

"Good evening!"

Aiba bowed once more and when the car started, he turned on his heel and went back inside the restaurant, immediately rushing towards the bar.

\- - -

Nino was sitting on his stool, clasping the bar in front of him, steaming hot ramen placed in front of him, still untouched. The young journalist just stared at his friend, having no clue about what had happened outside, since he was unable to witness the scene.

"You know, he's totally lived up to his image, he's _really_ nice," Aiba said, first thing when he reached his own seat again, smiling widely. "And charming. And so handsome! I can totally see why you like him..."

"What the hell did you even do out there?!" Nino asked in disbelief. "What did you say? What did _he_ say?"

"Chill, Nino," his friend reached to pat his shoulder. "I didn't say that I'm here with you, I just... tried to sound him out on the situation..."

Nino frowned, uncomprehending. "What do you mean?"

"I think, he might listen to you if you speak to him, apologize for your behaviour and tell him that you won't be a threat for him anymore," his friend explained, smiling.

Nino's heart stopped beating for a moment. "What makes you think so? What did you two talk about?"

Aiba shrugged. "Nothing in particular, I just happened to ask him for an opinion and he ended up saying that every person deserves a second chance," he said, grinning at the amazed face Nino was making at that very moment. "Oh, and by the way, I got something for you. Actually, I bought it because of Tao-chan's feature but... it's your day so, here you go!"

The man pushed the magazine from before towards his friend, who looked at the cover of the magazine, and then back to his friend, obviously not getting at all what this was about. Aiba reached out and opened the magazine, presenting Nino the first double page of Sakurai Sho's photo feature based on his upcoming movie. Nino's chin dropped when he read what was written on the right page, covering a dark, sexy suit that Sakurai was wearing on that page.

Right underneath Sakurai's face, which was looking at Nino with cute crescent shaped eyes and an alluring soft smile on his lips, were the words, _"Happy Birthday to Kazu from Sho"_

"What – WHAT?!" Nino exclaimed, unable to believe his eyes. He picked up the magazine, holding it closer to his eyes, as if he expected the writing to disappear if he didn't look closer.

"You're welcome," Aiba chuckled, amused over his friend's reaction. "Happy Birthday, Nino!"

Nino found himself at a loss of words again – for the second time when it came to Sakurai Sho. After slowly but surely recovering from the surprise, he was unable to hide his embarrassed excitement over Sakurai Sho's personal dedication with his signature (totally ignoring the fact that Sakurai didn’t even know who "Kazu" was) and he would be lying if he said that this day – against all odds – had not turned into one of his most exciting birthdays ever, thanks to his best friend.

Aiba finished his ramen – Nino was still too out of it to be able to intake anything food related so they asked for his order to change to a take away for him to bring home.

When they arrived back at Nino's place, Nino pulled his own "+act" feature (without signature) out of a staple of magazines and gave it to Aiba ("Since you wanted to have it because of Tao-chan's feature...") who beamed at him, happily, before he put his own ( _with_ signature) carefully into a shelf to store his new treasure away safely. The two friends then cuddled up on the couch and re-watched the journalist's favourite Sakurai-movies together for the nth time before they shared Nino's take away ramen as a midnight snack.

\- - -

When Sho reached his apartment that night, he felt extremely tired. After having dinner and the very long but much needed conversation with his best friend Ohno, the two of them decided to make use of the opportunity and catch another (for Sho still non-alcoholic) drink at a nearby bar, before they called it a night and Sho offered Ohno to give him a ride home. Ohno's wife was already in bed, so Sho couldn't congratulate her on the baby himself, but he again told Ohno to tell her how happy he was for them and that he wished them the best for the pregnancy.

Finally at home, Sho would be ready for bed, if he didn't crave for a shower, like always after a long day. So, his path guided him into the bathroom first.

"You look like crap," Sho told the image in the large mirror in front of him, when he turned the light on, before quickly washing his face.

He then started to undress, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it into the laundry basket in the corner. He then reached to empty his trousers' pockets, intending to do the same with them afterwards. When he suddenly spotted an unfamiliar note among a chewing gum package, some coins and a tissue, he frowned. He didn’t remember taking any notes like this, since he usually used his planner to note down whatever came to his mind. Curiously, he picked up the small paper and unfolded it, just to be surprised by some handwriting - that surely didn't belong to himself – which showed a number and a short message.

"I am Ninomiya Kazunari's friend. Please contact me. Aiba Masaki," Sho read out the message written over the following telephone number, frowning even more before he exchanged a confused look with his mirror image.

He let his eyes drop back to the message, reading it again in disbelief. He did not know anyone with the name Aiba Masaki, and he did not know any friends of Ninomiya, so what the hell was this all about? Who and how and when did that person put this note into his pocket? Could it be someone from the staff when his clothes were in the dressing room during the CM shooting? But the room was locked...

Or could it have been during that encounter with that one fan, shortly after he and Satoshi left the "Kujira Shokudou"? Sho was distracted while signing the magazine, so maybe, during that time, the man sneaked the note into his pockets. It would be a possibility... Thinking about it, that guy who wanted him to sign the magazine had even told him his friend's name - "Kazu" – probably short for "Kazunari", who apparently was celebrating his birthday today. Did that mean, it was Ninomiya's birthday? Or was this just a farce to get close to him?

Sho ruffled his hair in frustration. Couldn't he forget about Ninomiya for just a couple of hours?! That man was haunting his thoughts ever since they met, and it seriously irritated Sho. He usually wasn't the type to be intrigued by someone, always maintaining the emotional wall he had built around him to protect himself. Only his close family and closest friends were allowed to enter this zone, however, it was like Ninomiya was knocking against that wall over and over, slowly but surely starting to thin it out, and if Sho did not pay close attention, his wall might start to crumble soon, and danger would be able to sneak inside...

The actor had told Ohno that Ninomiya "reminded" him on himself. Probably, that was the problem. Probably, that was why that man bothered him so much.

Of course, he didn't know Ninomiya very well yet, and even if he had acted in front of Ninomiya as if he had snooped around in his past, reality was that Sho wasn't a private detective or anything. His research included asking a few acquaintances from show business about the man, which did not really lead to any usable result, and searching up Ninomiya's name on the internet. It took a while, but eventually, Sho actually managed to get some information. Via google search, he stumbled over a short article on a high school's website from a couple of years ago, in which Ninomiya's name was briefly honourably mentioned for writing an essay, dealing with a social topic, which seemed to have won a national school writing award. The article even proudly indicated that their graduate had managed to get a scholarship from a prestigious university, and deepening his research a little bit more, Sho found out that Ninomiya also wrote a couple of articles worth mentioning for respective university paper.

Sho could only assume that it had been this interest and talent that made Ninomiya go into journalism after graduation. However, he was surprised to see that the man ended up with a tab, a place where he was obviously wasting the talent he was gifted with, instead of using it for something more honourable and serious. However, for some reason, the man apparently chose the path he was walking on right now. Sho just couldn't understand why. But he wanted to, and the thought couldn’t leave him. 

If this message from that Aiba-guy was real, and the man was indeed a friend of Ninomiya, maybe Sho would be able to find out more, to find out the truth. He didn't like to admit it, but he was incredibly curious about Ninomiya. Though, a meeting with one of his friends could also be risky. What if Ninomiya was trying to fool him? He was still trying to get to him, wasn't he? Maybe, this note was just part of a big evil plan...

Rubbing his forehead, Sho could feel a headache approaching, a clear sign that he was one, racking his brain too much and two, in urgent need of sleep.

To be honest, he didn't have the energy nor brain at the moment to deal with this shit, and if he'd let himself get carried away, giving in to his curiosity and try to contact the number on that note right now, he would probably just mess up everything. Thus, the man considered it a much better option to hurry and finish up in the bathroom, get some proper sleep as soon as possible, and deal with that problem tomorrow.

He forced himself to put aside the note he was holding in his hand. First, he put it beside the washing basin, but since it was still in sight and distracting him immensely (and he feared, it could get wet and the writing could blur out), he decided to carry the piece of paper into the kitchen and thoughtfully put it on the breakfast table. Yes, like this, he would be able to take care of this matter and think through a proper strategy first thing in the morning.

Back in the bathroom, Sho finished undressing in record time and shortly after stepped underneath the shower, trying to let the water flowing over him not only wash his body, but also to clear his mind.

Sho groaned in frustration, when his tired brain suddenly thought it would be a good idea though, to recall the image of Ninomiya, wearing those hot tight pants and that tight black low v-neck shirt from that evening in the bar, right in front of him under the shower. The man's fantasy already started running, giving Ninomiya not only a longing look at Sho, but also letting the water play with the young man, wetting his hair, sticking it against his fair skin, making his lips look even more kissable, dripping from his chin and running over his neck until it was absorbed by his shirt's collar...

It was an incredible sexy image, causing Sho to swallow, but it was definitely not what he needed at that very moment, and so he shook his head and tried to think about something unpleasant while putting shampoo onto his hair (and clumsily also into his eye) and did his best to finish his shower in record time.

He was exhausted and worked up at the same time, when he finally got into bed. Why did he fantasize about _Ninomiya_ out of all people in the world? Just why?! Because he looked so cute and hot at the same time? He wasn't the only good-looking man in this world, and further, that person had a wicked personality! He was after celebrities, he wanted to _crush_ them – at least that was what he did apparently and wanted others to believe - no matter how much Sho might wish that deep inside Ninomiya would be a nice guy. That was probably still rather unlikely and so all that remained was the image of this peeved, handsome man, turning him on like no one ever did in a long time. Crap!

About fifteen minutes later, Sho grabbed some sleeping pills from his emergency stock hidden in the drawer of his bedside table and gulped it down with a glass of water. It was only when Sho remembered Ohno's words about not having to feel guilty about finding someone hot, and he allowed himself to believe his friend's words, when he finally managed to sooth his mind. With the promise to himself to not freak out the next morning, in case he ended up dreaming about the man again that night, Sho finally slipped into a deep sleep.

\- - -

The actor indeed dreamed of Ninomiya at night, but for once, it wasn't a dream of Ninomiya setting him on fire, at least. That was basically everything that Sho could remember, as his brain was quick in erasing the last traces of his dreams when he got up and started his daily routine. He went to the bathroom, dressed, and then went into the kitchen to make coffee, eat a small breakfast and read the newspaper for a couple of minutes before he had to go out for whatever job might be waiting for him on that particular day.

Today, Keiko would be picking Sho up herself and then they would drive to a meeting with the team of producers to talk about a possible cooperation for a new drama series. Before that, Sho would take part in the filming of a gaming TV show, to which he was looking forward to ever since he got invited to it.

Sho had just finished brewing his coffee and reached for the newspaper on his kitchen table, when his eyes fell onto the cell phone he used for work, where he had placed the newspapers next to it just a few minutes ago. Underneath, there was a folded piece of paper, the one he had found in his trousers' pockets the previous night before showering.

Sho unfolded the note and let his eyes run over the handwritten words again and before he was even realising what he was doing, he had entered and saved the number from the note into his contacts and was about to type a short message.

His screen showed, "Good morning, Aiba-san, this is Sakurai. I am sorry, but may I ask who exactly you are?" but still, he was hesitant to send the message.

What was he even expecting? And what was that Aiba guy expecting from him, in the first place? Why should he get in contact with him just because he was a friend of Ninomiya? Because he was curious about him? Because he wanted to meet him again? No, he didn’t -

He hit the send button, his heart pounding a little faster than it should, and after staring at his phone's screen and the sent message, Sho decided to put the device away and focus on his newspaper, like always. Aiba probably would not reply so soon anyway. If there was _really_ an Aiba behind that number. If that number was even an existing number. Or maybe he wasn't even a friend of Ninomiya, and this was just a fan's desperate attempt to get in contact with a celebrity. But which random fan would know about the connection between Sho and Ninomiya? It didn't make sense... Whoever it could be, Sho decided that it was probably a wise decision that he did not used his private cell phone to text that person. Just in case it really was a trap.

The actor did not even manage to finish the headline of the article he had decided on reading, when his phone vibrated. The actor snapped his head to stare at the device, a sudden rush of nervousness overwhelming him. Shit, did Aiba already reply?!

His heart was beating faster, as if he was a teenage boy, waiting for his crush to reply. He rolled his eyes despite himself. This was so ridiculous... It probably wasn't even a message from Aiba, but rather from Keiko, to tell him that she would arrive soon. In the end, though, Sho wasn't able to ignore his phone and focus on the newspaper in his hands and after taking a quick sip of his coffee, he snatched his phone to check the message.

Indeed, it was a message from Aiba.

 _"Sakurai-san, good to hear from you, so you found my message? :D"_ Well, obviously.

It took Sho a few minutes to calculate, where this might be going and how he should react, but in the end, he only managed to repeat parts of his first message, sending another, "Please tell me, who you are."

 _"Sorry, my fault. My name is Aiba Masaki. We met in front of that ramen restaurant yesterday. Again, thanks for the autograph for my friend, that was a really friendly gesture!"_ No more information. But it was enough to at least connect some loose dots.

"Did your friend like your present?" Sho typed, a bit lost on how to keep the conversation going (why was _he_ the one trying to do so now?), sending it faster than he could think, just to regret it as soon as the sent message popped up on his phone's screen. As if it was important now if Ninomiya – if _Kazu_ was really _him_ \- liked his signature...

Aiba's response followed promptly. _"He was delighted, you should have seen him, he was speechless! That was really cute! ^.^"_

Involuntarily, Sho blushed and his heart skipped a beat when he read the reply. So Ninomiya was happy to receive his signature. But why?! Did that mean, that he actually was a fan of Sho, maybe even really liked him? Sho's mind trailed off, thinking about what it would mean if the journalist's interest maybe wasn't solely based on his job, but if he really...

He shook his head, forcing his brain to keep focused and not to start day dreaming. So, summing things up - first, the man who had passed Sho the message seemed to be the man Sho assumed indeed and second, Ninomiya apparently liked his autograph... Sho wasn't sure if he should feel embarrassed or happy or amused upon that image and Aiba was probably just making fun of him anyway, but for some reason, Sho hoped that there was at least a tiny little bit truth to that man's statement.

"Your message, it reads you are a friend of Ninomiya," he typed, nervously, deciding that he just had to make sure. "We are talking about the journalist Ninomiya Kazunari, aren't we? Is there an actual reason why you wanted me to contact you?"

It took a bit longer this time before Sho's phone vibrated again, but respectively, Aiba's reply was longer than his previous messages.

_"First, I want to thank you again for contacting me. I feared you would just throw my note away! Yes, I'm talking about that exact Ninomiya Kazunari. He's my best friend. Sorry for this sneaky way of doing things, but I am worried about him recently, so I want to talk to you about him."_

The actor frowned at the words on his phone screen, starting to feel a bit unease and wondering about why Ninomiya's friend should be worrying about the other man. Was he in trouble? Was he being sick?

"Is he in trouble? And what does this have to do with me?" he eventually replied.

_"He thinks you hate him, and feels miserable about it."_

Sho looked at the answer, dumbfounded. Well, he didn't exactly expect _this_.

"We did not exactly have a good start, I admit. But as a tab journalist, he's probably used to being disliked by celebrities," Sho typed away, his heart beating a bit faster.

He didn't really know how to capture what he was feeling for Ninomiya. He once said to him, that he "despised" him and that he _rather_ "hated than loved" him, however, somehow that sounded wrong to Sho now. Sure, there had been moments where he had seen Ninomiya as a threat and he surely was not fond of snoopy journalists in general. He was quite negatively surprised by Ninomiya's aggressive style of working, too, so it was just normal that he didn't really approve of the man – or at least not his methods.

At the same time though, hadn't he felt drawn by Ninomiya? Even if still, he couldn't quite name the reason. Was it really because the man somehow reminded him of himself? Was he pitying him? Or was it plain physical attraction, even if he wished he could deny that? "Also, I wouldn't say that I hate him, hate is a much too strong word that people often use too quickly..." Yeah, that should do the job but not sound too suspicious, hopefully.

_"You are the first one confronting him so directly on a personal level. And the first one he cannot see through from the beginning."_

Aiba's reply read like a compliment in some way, because it sounded like he was _special_ , however, Sho was not sure, if this was actually the intention and if it bore a positive meaning. Slowly but surely, he started thinking that something was off. He should not trust any stranger too quickly, he reminded himself, strictly. Thus, his next text message turned out maybe a little more edgy than he initially intended.

"If you are trying to get information out of me on his behalf, I beg you to stop. I still don't plan to sell any information to tab journalists."

When Sho read the reply, which followed just a second later, he felt his heart jolt.

_"I did not intend any of that, I am just really worried about my friend. He seems to like you a lot more than you might imagine. It's driving him crazy. He's a good guy, you know?"_

Again, this was not exactly what Sho expected to read. His heartbeat was speeding up a little again, as his brain processed the meaning of this message. Still, Sho didn't know what exactly Aiba was referring to when he said that Ninomiya _liked_ him, but "liking" _was_ a positive word, right? Again, a flashback brought Sho back to the scene at the bar, where he and Ninomiya were, well, you could almost call it "aggressively flirting", honestly, and just the thought of Ninomiya actually having _meant_ parts of what he said to Sho in order to get close to him, made the man extremely nervous and excited at the same time.

"What do you mean, he likes me?" he decided to type, his hand slightly shaking.

_"Would you be available for dinner? I promise, I will show up alone. I just really want to talk to you about Nino but I think, that would be easier than texting... also, I have to go to work soon."_

Why couldn't Aiba just _tell_ him, what he meant?! Why did he need to make it so fucking thrilling right now, Sho wondered, holding his phone against his forehead, frustrated, but he tried to calm down quickly, so that he was able to think straight again.

A meeting for dinner? To talk about Ninomiya? One part of Sho wanted to agree right away, but another part of Sho hesitated, bringing him back to earth. Of course, he did. He had already been tricked by that man once, what if this was only a trap? What if in reality, he was not even exchanging messages with any "Aiba" right now but with Ninomiya himself who was trying to lure him out and was now sitting at home laughing his ass off at the whole situation? Or if that person at the other end of the conversation was simply a crazy fan, eager to meet him?

But no, again, Sho reminded himself that the fact that he met Ninomiya recently was unknown to people other than Ohno, Keiko, Matsumoto, Matsuoka and whoever Ninomiya told, and the thing with the magazine was not known to anyone but the involved people. He was being paranoid. This was definitely either Ninomiya _pretending_ to be Aiba, or Aiba himself for real. Those were the only options.

"How can I trust that you are not trying to trick me into one of Ninomiya's traps?" Sho typed, convinced, that it was legitimate to at least ask this question.

Aiba's reply was short and disarming. _"You have to trust me."_

Again, it took Sho a few minutes to reply. He was weighing his options. He could ignore this message and pretend that this conversation never happened. He could – which would be very dumb and dangerous – suggest a meeting place and go there, and risk falling right into, possibly, Ninomiya's trap, if he was the brain behind this whole thing. Or, there was another option, one that might sooth his curiosity but would not be as risky as the aforementioned alternative...

"Give me your address and I will send someone to pick you up for dinner tonight at 7. Don't tell anybody."

 _"Understood! Thank you!"_ Aiba replied immediately, before sending his address.

Sho sighed deeply. What was he getting himself into now?

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Notes/Glossar:**
> 
>  
> 
> My image of the Sho-song Nino is addicted to, is something in the range of "Sugar and salt" or "Kono mama motto". Yes, you may imagine Nino alone at home, fangirling and melting to those songs now. You're welcome. XD
> 
> While the "Un[der]cover" is my own invention, the "+act" is a real Japanese magazine with tons of wonderful photo features and interviews of various Japanese actors/actresses. I LOVE that magazine (not only the ones featuring Arashi) and if I had the chance, I'd buy it regularly.


	4. Chapter 4

It was hard for Sho to focus on work that day, he had to admit, and so he was happy when dinnertime finally approached Honestly, Sho's mind was constantly distracted by his thoughts about Ninomiya, as well as the upcoming meeting with Aiba in the evening. He still didn't know what to expect from the meeting with that Aiba guy, and thinking about Ninomiya and his possible involvement with the whole situation, didn't really help either.

Sho had expected Ninomiya to resort to more drastic measures than lurking for him in a bar, after their little "fight" in the "Matsuoka's", so he was extra cautious since then, taking small detours with his car on his way home, putting some extra effort in disguising himself when going to public spaces and trying to take in his surroundings carefully, to make sure he wasn't being fooled by Ninomiya in the disguise of a make-up artist, a camera man, an AD or whatsoever. But now, he was probably literally walking right into the lion's den.

"Did you ever consider the thought that you like living in danger?" Ohno had asked Sho about an hour ago on the phone during lunch break, causing his friend to frown. "When choosing to become an actor, you actively decided to live the life of a public person, despite all risks."

Probably, his friend was right, Sho thought. Even if he was nervous of being found out, even if he was cautious, it wasn't like he was living a life of constant fear about his exposure. To the contrary, sometimes, he even found it… thrilling. Maybe, that was, why he was so excited around Ninomiya. Maybe, deep inside, he _wanted_ the challenge. At least, this sounded definitely much more plausible than Ohno's theory about Sho considering the journalist as a life partner.

However, wrecking his brain wouldn't bring Sho further and so he reached the conclusion, that he should better wait and see what the evening would bring.

As announced, Sho sent his driver to pick up Aiba at 7 at the address the man sent him in the morning, to bring him to a meeting place Sho had chosen. It was a discreet and hidden but chic restaurant in one of Tokyo's side streets, of which Keiko had told him about after he asked for a recommendation of a nice place to meet and chat with a _friend_. He did not talk to the woman about the whole thing yet and didn't want to draw too much attention on it, fearing that his manager would try to persuade him not to take any risks, but Sho was just too curious to let things go now.

Sho, who was already waiting for his guest and sipping on a glass of water, frowning, when his driver, accompanied by a man wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, hiding half of his face, entered the location. The latter looked a bit lost, and obviously couldn't hide his astonishment about the place he was brought to. As soon as the two men reached the table, the stranger took off his baseball cap and glasses, bowing slightly to the actor. Yes, indeed, it was the exact same man, whom he met in front of the "Kujira Shokudou" the previous evening. Taking in once more the appearance of the man standing next to his table, his eyes falling onto the items the other man was wearing, Sho chuckled slightly.

"Is it him?" the driver asked, just to make sure he had picked up the right person and Sho confirmed with a nod.

"It's him, yes. Thanks for picking him up. You may leave now, I'll go home by myself later and send him off with a taxi," the actor said and after wishing him a nice evening, the driver excused himself.

"Good evening, my name is Aiba Masaki," the man – Aiba – said, before he took place, as Sho gestured him to do. "Thank you for having me here tonight. I know you must be busy and it's a lot for me to ask -"

"It's OK, Aiba-san," Sho offered his guest a smile. "Just… may I ask why _you_ are in disguise?" the actor couldn't help but ask, still smiling amused, pointing at his cap and the sunglasses. Maybe it was just his usual clothing style, but remembering the man's appearance from the previous day, Sho doubted it.

The man sitting at the opposite side of the table laughed. "Ah, I'm sorry... I was just... getting a little too excited, maybe. Not that I'm one of those crazy fans, please don't worry about that. I mean, it's not like I don't like you as an actor or anything -"

"It's OK, don't worry, Aiba-san."

Sho decided to let it slip, keeping his amusement for himself, and instead asked Aiba what he would like to drink. They ordered two beers and the menu to pick something to eat, and since it felt just too awkward to start some small talk with a man he barely knew, Sho decided to get straight to the point.

"So... we're meeting here tonight because you wanted to talk to me," the actor started, locking eyes with the man in front of him. He tried to find any hints of mischief or whatever he was expecting to be confronted with during this awkward dinner, but Aiba's eyes showed no traces of such emotions, but rather radiated a warm sincerity.

He nodded, determined. "It's about my friend..."

"…Ninomiya," Sho finished the sentence, feeling his heartbeat involuntarily rising a little.

Aiba nodded again. "He told me about your encounter at the "Matsuoka's" and… everything, you know."

Sho wasn't completely sure what _everything_ would mean… That he and Ninomiya had a dispute? That they had kissed? Sho bit his lips, slightly nervous.

"So?" he asked, carefully.

"As I texted you already," Aiba started, "He thinks you hate him..."

"And I told you, hate is such a strong word…," the actor replied, pausing for a little while before he continued, "I don't think, it captures the complexity of _what_ I am feeling for that man. This is… a little complicated." Rather, a _lot_ complicated…

"According to him you said you _despise_ him," the other man concluded.

Sho sighed, wondering how he should put things into perspective. He tilted his head and crossed his arms on the table in front of him. "I think, what I despise are his methods," he then said, thoughtfully, searching for eye contact with Aiba again. "I might have articulated it a bit meaner than intended. I was... worked up a little, you see?"

"So you don't hate _him_ , right?" Aiba's eyes immediately lighted up in excitement, before he continued babbling. "That's good! Because you see... I know, Nino is not exactly doing a very honourable work these days, and he surely made some mistakes on the way, but... he has not always been like that. In fact, he didn't want to become like that at all. And he's a good guy, really!"

"Aiba-san…," frowning, Sho lifted his hand to make the man in front of him stop for a second. This situation was still kind of confusing and absurd, and he still didn't really understand, why the hell he was sitting here with a stranger he only got to know the night before, talking about a man he only met twice and who apparently meant no good for him. "Just to clarify things… you are not here to just confirm if I like or hate him because… I don't know, I'm a little confused, to be honest… And you also don't give the impression that you're trying to sneak around in place of your friend. So what exactly is it, that you are trying to achieve and how exactly do you think that _I_ can help you with that? I mean, I don't even really _know_ Ninomiya, and our meetings had been a bit strange. To be honest, I have no idea what you really want from me."

Aiba nodded heavily, to show he understood, before he took a deep breath. "Would you help me to help him find himself?"

"Find himself?" Sho repeated, furrowing his eyebrows in incomprehension.

"Yes. Because… You know, I agree with you about the fact that Nino is wasting his talent at that tabloid – yes, he also told me about that -," the other man spoke. "I want him to quit. He can do better, and I want him to change paths before it is too late but I need your help."

Sho was surprised. He really had no idea where this would lead to and what the man wanted from him, but he could definitely say that he did not expect something like _this_ \- a man on the mission to guide his friend back onto the right tracks in life. Honestly, he was impressed. It was seldom that people would voluntarily go to such lengths for the sake of others. And there were not many people, who had others who were willing to do that for them, either.

"OK and why should it be _me_ , out of all people?" Sho wanted to confirm, even if he had to admit that he was getting a bit excited after hearing Aiba's words. So he wasn’t alone being disillusioned by or fantasizing about the situation with Ninomiya, he was actually right and he was not the only one who thought that it was a pity for a talented person to waste his talents.

"I feel like if it's you, you might be able to get through to him," Aiba replied with a slightly bitter smile on his face.

The actor swallowed, feeling his heart beating in his throat. "I'm nobody to him, only an annoying target for an article…," he then said, more to convince himself and his heart to calm down, than to the other man, who was now shaking his head.

"I don't think so. I think you really triggered something in him."

"But… you are his friend, doesn't he listen to you?"

"No, he stopped listening to me long ago!" Aiba groaned, not even trying to hide his frustration over that fact. "But if it's you... You know how that works with critique sometimes?" the man tried a different approach.

"What do you mean?"

"When - let's say - you created a painting for your mom's birthday – just an example – and she goes like "Aw, that's so beautiful, you're the greatest painter in the world" you would feel it's just average, if even it was good... and even if you're happy she likes it, you can't help but wonder, deep inside, if she _really_ likes it or just says so because she's your mother and meant well?" Aiba asked before pausing to let what he was trying to convey sink in, before he continued. "But what you really crave for is not a compliment from _her_ but something more like... a compliment from a neutral person who is not emotionally involved with you since your birth?"

"Because sometimes, people stupidly value the appreciation of strangers more than of people close to them?" Sho concluded, getting an inkling of what Aiba was trying to say.

"Exactly!" the other man cheered. "Sure, it's not like a compliment from a friend or family does not count but… I have been telling him that he's wasting his talent at this tab for years now, but it just does not have any effect on him. I think, when I tell him that he's _good_ and that he can do _better_ , he thinks I'm saying this just to make him feel better, not because I actually think so, which I obviously do, though. Human minds can be so twisted...," the man sighed and Sho had to agree. "But when _you_ told him the same thing, he got so worked up! It made him think again and I concluded that it _means_ something to him. You are his neutral person... just that now you're not neutral at all to him anymore since he's completely aware of you as a person now and he just wants you to recognise him...," Aiba babbled along, frowning, as if he was confusing himself a little with his talking. He paused, before he said, "Human feelings are complicated, aren't they?"

"Indeed...," Sho confirmed, arching an eyebrow and nodding slightly.

"Anyway, what I want to say is that you made him rethink about his choices again, and the fact that you seem to see through him shook him and now he's caught in this state of not knowing what to do anymore," Aiba kept on and on, before he took a deep breath to finish his little speech. "And I want _you_ to help me push him back into the right direction."

Again, Sho didn't really know what to say, so he just looked at the man in front of him, whose eyes slowly but surely turned from a determined look into a pleading one. Sho chuckled, feeling unarmed by Aiba's words.

"You know, coming to think of it...," he started. "Seeing a friend of him taking such action upon himself just to help him, makes me think that Ninomiya probably really isn't a bad person."

"He isn't!" Aiba exclaimed. "He made mistakes, yes, but he was also unlucky..."

"What happened to him?"

The story that followed was the story of a young man who had to face family struggles during childhood and teenage days and had been bullied because he didn't have much money after his father and mother divorced. It was the story about a man, who compensated his frustration by working his ass off in high school and university, to make something out of his life, and how the possibility to fulfil his dream then got snatched away. In fact, Ninomiya wanted to become a respected journalist at one of Japan’s most prestigious newspapers and he even had managed to pass several steps of the job interview and made it into the final round, together with one of his colleagues from university. That young man had always been competing against Ninomiya, although he did not graduate with marks as good as Ninomiya's.

Nevertheless, in the end, the other guy got the job, and as it turned out, not based on his skills, but based on his family background. The young man was hired on the spot as soon as his father offered a sizable sum of money to _support the newspaper_ , and Ninomiya was off the list faster than he could protest. For him it must have been like a world crumbling before his eyes. He had been working so hard, for so long, and everything was gone in a second, being taken from him by a rich person. As if that switched something in his brain, that was the point at which Ninomiya seemed to have started disliking rich people.

There were exceptions, of course, but his disliking made it easier for the man to slip into the world of gossip journalism. The frustration he experienced was like the last drop in the bucket, making every bad feeling that he had locked up inside of him over the years, bubbling to the top. It was just one more time of being unlucky or unfairly treated, and eventually, it made him bitter.

Bitter enough at least, that at some point, Ninomiya stopped caring about _where_ he would be working, and just picked a magazine to apply, where he would be able to earn good money to pay back the scholarship from studying at university. And that was how he ended up with the “Un[der]cover", where soon after he became one of the top journalists. He had the skills. He was tough. And he needed the money. But, according to Aiba, Ninomiya was never truly happy like this, and it was breaking his heart, again and again.

"You sound very affectionate towards Ninomiya," Sho noted, after Aiba told him once more how much he wanted to help Nino get out from where he was trapped. "People could think, you two are…"

"Together?" Aiba lifted his eyebrows.

"Well…"

"Ah, no, we're not like _that_ ," the man quickly set clear. "Well, I do of course love him as my best friend. We went through a lot together. That's why I care about him a lot. I only want the best for him."

"So you're even going to such lengths as meeting up with _me_ now…," the actor summed up. He frowned. "I understand your way of thinking and that you hope that as a stranger I would have a different effect on Ninomiya. But I don't believe I have the _power_ to make him change his mind."

"As I told you, somehow you managed to get through to him," Aiba repeated, before he smirked and added, "I joked about him having a celebrity crush on you, but to be honest, I think it's more than that. I've never seen him like that… Actually, he might kill me if I told you this, but I only have his best interests in mind. I think he likes you. Now that I actually told you, it's up to you what you're doing with that piece of information."

Sho really hoped, that his acting skills weren't leaving him at that very moment, when he was trying hard to pretend not to be moved by the other man's words. However, he didn't really know what he should think about the situation. Was it true? Could he really trust Aiba and his words? And what would that actually mean for him and Ninomiya?

"I'm not the type to… you know… Ninomiya and I, we're almost perfect strangers and... I am not the type for relationships and such," Sho finally managed to say, hoping he wouldn't sound too babbly.

Aiba chuckled. "It's OK, don't worry, I'm not telling you to date him or anything, I just wanted you to know that _you have_ the power to change him."

"You know that Ninomiya can still be dangerous for me, right? You tell me that all this is about helping him, but what if it doesn't work and if he still wants to write something bad about me?" Sho added. "Don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound selfish or anything, but I have a reputation to protect, and as much as I want to believe in the good of your friend, like you said, I have to be cautious."

"I completely understand your doubts," Aiba said, nodding. "But I feel like you don't need to worry so much. I feel like he has become much less dangerous to you than you would expect. I know I’m asking a lot, but I beg you to believe in him. To trust him. Just like I do."

Sho paused for a while, considering the possibilities. He tried to mute his annoyingly fast heartbeat, which had been teasing him ever since Aiba said that Ninomiya might have "more than a celebrity crush" on him. And according to Aiba, there was something Sho could do to help Ninomiya, as he had the _power_ to do so, as the other had said. And if Ninomiya really would mean less danger to him than he thought? What if he decided to quit his project? It would explain why Sho had not seen him sneaking around close to him, and why still, after a couple of weeks, there had been no more leaks about his work or private life, than that one information about his upcoming movie, which not even had done any harm to anybody, to be honest.

Of course – like Aiba said – that was asking a lot to trust an almost stranger, but how would things change if they didn't start with a bit of trust? Maybe it wouldn't be easy, but Sho could try. Maybe, he even _wanted_ to trust the other man.

In the end, he didn't see any argument against that. Why shouldn't he try making use of that power Aiba believed he was holding, and help someone get back on track?

"Would you mind giving me Ninomiya's phone number?" Sho finally said, before quickly adding, "Don't tell him though! But maybe, I really can help."

"Really?!" Aiba gaped at him, his face lighting up in excitement.

Sho nodded. "When the time is right, I will contact him."

"What's your plan?" the other man asked curiously, leaning a bit closer.

"I'm not completely sure yet," Sho tilted his head. "But probably there will be something I can do."

"Thank you! Thank you so much! You're _really_ a nice person," Aiba cheered, and Sho was convinced, if there wasn’t a table filled with food between them, the other man would have surely jumped up and hugged him.

"I want to believe in the good of people," the actor started to explain his reasoning, determined. "I know best that people make mistakes, but I also believe we should be given the chance to atone for them. And if I can do something to prevent Ninomiya from committing even more mistakes and to find back to his true self, I want to try and help!"

\- - -

It was one of those rare days off, when Nino decided to go out for a stroll through the city, just to get some errands done and maybe snap some random pictures with his phone, like he enjoyed doing in his spare time. The crowded city could be stressful, but sometimes, Nino felt being calmed down by the hustle and bustle, which allowed him to separate himself from his surrounding, as if he was living in some kind of bubble. From that place, he was able to see the city in new light and like this, he often discovered unexpected things and places, beautiful things, that at least were worth a shot.

Honestly, Nino was surprised that Nagase had even granted him a day off, considering that he was still unsuccessful with the "Sakurai-affaire", as his boss called it casually. Of course, Nino had done other jobs and written articles about other celebrities, but he preferred to stay home and apply himself to his – as Aiba called it – "growing obsession with Sakurai Sho" but still had not written a single word about the man (if you didn't count the pages of praise he typed when he – just for fun – started writing reviews for the actor's works).

Aiba said that he didn't _want_ to write a revealing feature about Sakurai anymore, and Nino had to admit that his best friend was right. The more he developed that strange affection for the actor, the less he wanted to complete the task he received from his boss, the less he wanted to harm Sakurai. But still, he was assigned to that project and somehow he had to deal with it. He just didn't know _how_.

Nino toyed with the thought of visiting the "Kujira Shokudou" again just to see if he would be lucky and be able to spot Sakurai there again, but in the end, he decided that he better shouldn't. Not only because he wanted to respect the actor's privacy, but also because he still didn't want to confront himself with the man.

His _feelings_ for the actor – if you could even call them "feelings" – were still confusing the hell out of Nino. He didn't know what to think about them. Maybe he had kind of accepted by now that he had developed a _celebrity crush_ on the man, but he disagreed with Aiba, who thought it was _more_ than that, and he couldn't really say that he enjoyed it. Just hypothetically, having a crush was frustrating enough, having a _celebrity_ crush though, knowing that chances were even lower when it came to such people, was just devastating and yeah, _crushing_. Maybe that was the true meaning behind that term, to begin with...

The young man had just finished some grocery shopping when he decided to walk through the city a little longer. An iced matcha latte in his one hand, his cell phone camera ready for any shot that might cross his path in the other, he walked down the streets. He watched people going in and out of the newest, hippest stores, children cheering happily over a balloon given to them by their parents, and sometimes he even checked the shop windows if something nice caught his interest.

What he did not expect was, that in the middle of all this, when he reached a small square, surrounded by trees and flower beds, housing a few food booths, a fountain and a small stage for one of those countless small local events that were spread all over the country, someone specific managed to walk into the frame of his cell phone camera. Sakurai Sho. That was, if Nino wasn't mistaken.

The man's chin almost dropped when he was holding his camera towards the small event stage, only with the intention to take a random shot, and he suddenly recognised the actor's face. He let his phone screen sink and focused his eyes onto the person he had just saw through the camera, a man, dressed up as an old man, who he might not even recognise, if he had not paid so much attention to that man's face recently.

Nino looked around to see what exactly was going on, but there was no big audience, only a couple of parents with their elementary school kids, sitting in a bunch of seats arranged before the stage. There was a woman up there talking, to explain the scenes that were being played. There were no cameras around – Nino checked once more – no group of fans or anything. Maybe he had mistaken? Maybe, this man wasn't Sakurai but just someone who looked alike?

Driven by his natural curiosity, the journalist decided to come closer and took one of the seats in a middle row at the very side, next to a father with his kid, trying to make himself as invisible as possible, and watched the scene for a few minutes. Apparently, the kids on stage together with the elderly-dressed man were acting some scenes about how kids should treat and help older people, and apparently, that was everything this was about.

Nino was speechless. He indeed must be right, recognising the man. He had the same facial expressions, even if the make-up made him appear much older than he was, and he had the exact same laughter that Nino heard so often on recordings of TV shows and on clips that he had watched over and over on YouTube. He knew that laughter, he knew it by heart and he would probably recognise it among thousands.

Still, he had had no idea about this event and Sakurai's participation, and even when checking his phone, he found nothing at all about this. There was no publicly announcement on any website or forum, not even a rumour thread on the Sakurai Sho fan forum, absolutely nothing.

The only thing that the journalist found after a few more minutes of browsing his phone, was a tweet by someone with the hashtag "#SakuraiSho" - a girl which apparently was only standing a few meters away from Nino at this very moment - had just posted a picture of the _old man_ surrounded by kids. Nino refreshed the page, and then read a reply by someone who wrote that this couldn't be Sakurai Sho since a busy actor would not have time for such unadvertised event and that the girl must be mistaken. Nino looked up and turned his head again, just to see the girl leaving, her head slightly hung. When he refreshed the page again, the tweet from before had been deleted.

But Nino did not give up so easily, but continued watching the happenings on stage. His heart was beating a little faster, and he was wrecking his brain over why the actor would be here, _undercover_ almost, if there were no official announcements of his participation in this act. When the young journalist couldn't get any further, he finally stood up again and went a few steps forward, approaching one of the workers for the event who was standing next to the audience.

It was a woman in her forties, who was holding a big basket filled with little presents, which consisted of a small information booklet and a muffin wrapped in cellophane, ready to be handed out to the guests of the event after it was over. The woman didn't seem less impressed by the man on stage, than the rest of the audience, and Nino actually wondered if they were all wondering about the same thing as he was.

In the end, he stepped in front of the woman, bowing slightly to catch her attention, a smile on his face.

"Excuse me, but..." he started. "That man over there..." 

The woman smiled back, seemingly ready to help. "Ah, Sanada-san?"

Nino arched an eyebrow. "Sanada-san? Is that his name?"

"Yes, he's one of our volunteers," the woman replied, chuckling happily. "The children love him. We are really grateful for his help. And he's so handsome... he looks a bit like that actor, doesn't he?"

"Hm," So Nino – and that young girl from before – were not the only ones who had made this association, at least.

"Honestly, the first time he appeared, I thought it was _him_ , but turns out, they are just looking a bit alike," she whispered, bowing a little forward to Nino, but still not saying Sakurai's name. It didn't seem important to her, she apparently was convinced that it was not him. Then, she switched the topic. "Are you interested in volunteer work too, young man?"

"Ah... uhm, well... I'm thinking about it," Nino fibbed, tilting his head, not wanting to appear indifferent.

The woman flashed him a huge smile and reached into the basket. "Here, take this," she said, pressing one of the give-aways into Nino's palm. "You can find more information on our website, which is printed in the little information booklet. Maybe I can see you joining us in such an event too, in the future."

"Thank you, I'll check it out," Nino replied with a nod, wishing her success with the rest of the event and finally retreating back to his row.

Nino continued watching the performance, a frown painting his face. He was still convinced, that despite the twitter response on the internet and the woman's words, the person up there on the small stage – assuming that it wasn't an unknown twin and such - _was_ Sakurai Sho, even if he might be working under – probably another – alias. Or was it his real name he was using here? Anyway, he was an actor after all, it would be easy for him to play another person.

It was then, when suddenly, the man on stage looked right into Nino's direction and their eyes met. Nino's eyes widened, and the reaction of the actor on stage was not much different, and with that, it was a clear case for Nino. Their eye contact had only lasted for the split of a second, but it was enough proof for him that Sakurai must have recognised _him_. Crap.

Nino's heart started racing and his palms started sweating slightly, still holding the little give-away from the event in his hands. The cellophane was rustling silently as he crinkled it by tightening the hold around it.

He did not consider the possibility of being spotted by the other man and so he wasn't prepared and had no idea how to react now. Should he just stand up and walk away? Or should he wait until the event was over and try to approach him? His heartbeat sped up even faster at the thought that he could actually _meet_ Sakurai again. It made him feel unease like hell.

Aiba said, that Sakurai was a nice man and might give him a second chance if he chose not to act against him but... give him a second chance for what exactly? What did Nino expect? He couldn't expect the other man wanting to have anything to do with him. He couldn't expect them to become friends, or... more. That was simply unrealistic and he was still in denial about if he even _wanted_ that.

Anyway, Nino's feet seemed to be glued to the floor for as long as the event continued, and only when Sakurai finally left the stage, approaching some of the other volunteers of the event, Nino shot up from his seat and came closer too. Still, he held back, nervous and unsure about how to proceed from that point. Sakurai did not make eye contact with him again, either because he thought the journalist was already gone, or because he didn't intend to draw any more attention to him. The actor bowed to his colleagues and then disappeared into a small tent behind the stage, probably to change out of his costume.

Trying not to draw any attention onto himself, Nino slowly walked to a small group of trees nearby from which he could keep an eye on the small tent. As expected, after a few minutes, someone exited again – a man looking much younger than the one who entered earlier, with straight combed hair, wearing thick framed glasses and a facial mask. Nevertheless, Nino couldn't be fooled. Even if in disguise - it was Sakurai, for sure.

The man approached one of the volunteer women again, they exchanged a polite bow and he waved one last time at the group of kids who were on stage with him, and were now playing around cheerfully. Then, the man started throwing glances around him, as if he wanted to check if someone was observing him, and Nino quickly hid behind the tree he was leaning against, his heart hammering in his chest. When he dared to look again, Sakurai had started walking away, aiming for a side street. Probably, he came to the conclusion that Nino – in case he really recognised him – had left already.

Quickly, Nino left his position and went after him, first carefully, following him into the almost empty side street, then he started walking a little faster, trying to catch up. He swallowed, trying to press his heart, which was pounding in his throat, back down where it belonged, and then, he gathered all the courage he could find in every cell of his body and mind, and parted his lips.

"Sanada-san?" he finally exclaimed, using the man's alias to not make his cover blow up. "Sanada-san! Please, wait!"

The man in front of him suddenly stopped walking, and when he turned around and the men's eyes met again, Nino swallowed and Sakurai released a deep sigh.

"Ninomiya-san..."

"I knew it was you!" Nino said, triumphing inwardly, before taking a few more steps forward. He walked in front of Sakurai and looked at him, not able to hide a smirk. " _Sanada-san_ sure, the hell! Ah, Sorry, I mean..."

"So it was really you in the audience... for a moment I thought I was just dreaming," the other man said, pulling down his facial mask. Nino's heart skipped a beat. Yes, those lips definitely belonged to Sakurai Sho. "Tell me, how...?"

"To be honest, it was pure coincidence," Nino replied in a low voice. "I was just doing some errands and then... I didn't know and I never expected you to be doing such events... there was nothing on the internet about it or anything..."

Sakurai chuckled, rubbing his neck with his hand. "Well..."

"You really didn't advertise it?" Nino wanted to confirm, frowning at the actor.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why should I?" Sakurai asked, sincere. "The purpose of this event was to teach children, that's all."

"But, you could use this as publicity!" Nino noted, stating the probably most common way of thinking in the situation. "People would be amazed to see you doing such things."

But the actor held up against the journalist. "It would only draw unwanted attention to it. This kind of events are preferably to be kept low-key, so that they don't miss their purpose."

The man started walking again, passing Nino, who followed him like a little dog would follow his owner. "Do you do this frequently?" he asked, curiously.

Sakurai hesitated, probably considering if he should tell Nino more or just leave him behind with his questions, but in the end, he replied. "Sometimes, if my schedule allows it."

"Why?" Nino asked, knowing that he sounded extremely curious. Well, he was. Honestly.

"I want to help," Sakurai said calmly. "I'm doing this for those people and to be honest... also for my own peace of mind."

For a few seconds, Nino didn't say anything, letting the information seep in. He knew about celebrities doing volunteer work or donating large sums of money to good causes, but usually, those gestures were spread all over the media, advertised by the person's management, covered by the media, and even if those were of course good things, Nino often got the vibes that in the end, the respective celebrities did not _really_ care about what they were doing, as long as they received attention. But this case, Sakurai's case, was completely different.

"I'm impressed," Nino finally said. "Really, I'm impressed."

"Thank you, but you don't need to be...," Sakurai murmured and they fell silent for another few seconds, just walking next to each other.

Nino wondered where Sakurai was even heading to and if he was going to tell him to stop following him, when they reached a small café and Sakurai stepped inside. It wasn't a well-visited place although it was really nice, probably one of those places that suffered from the side-street complex, having customers taken away by shops lined along the nearby main shopping streets. Sakurai went straight to the counter, ordering a strawberry-lemon short cake and a cup of coffee for take away. Before long he left the shop again, the journalist still in tow.

"Listen...," Nino finally spoke up again, his eyes sparkling at Sakurai, who exchanged a short look with him, his beautiful lips connected to the plastic lid of his coffee.

The young journalist was suddenly struck by an idea. Maybe, he just found a way to finish his job to write about Sakurai, without having to dig deeper into his past, without pulling out all that nasty stuff his boss was expecting to be hidden by the actor. He could turn this project into a positive feature, he could write about Sakurai and his secret volunteer work, and nobody would be hurt. In fact, instead of crushing the actor with a devastating feature, he wanted to tell the whole world what a wonderful person Sakurai Sho was.

"May I write about this?" the journalist finally asked.

The actor looked at Nino, honestly surprised. He seemed to think about the offer, then, his face changed and he didn't exactly look amused by the suggestion, but rather concerned.

"Ninomiya-san...," he said, sighing slightly. "I really appreciate what you are asking and I know I can't stop you now that you caught me, but as I said, I think if too much attention is drawn to such events because of me, it would turn them into something else and they could miss their purpose. So I wish you would keep this as a secret, please, could you?"

The man stopped again, turned to Nino and sent him a pleading look. It was hard for the journalist to keep the eye contact, Sakurai's piercing look also piercing his heart.

"I mean, I don't need to write about what _exactly_ you do, just... I think it's a wonderful thing to do what you're doing and I want people to know," Nino then voiced his sincere intentions.

Sakurai just chuckled, before he took another sip of his hot drink.

"Didn't you want to _expose my dirty secrets_ to the world just some time ago?" he asked, arching a challenging eyebrow at Nino, that made the other man blush slightly and avert his eyes. "And now you want to show the world what a _good man_ I am?" When the actor's voice suddenly changed from amused to a much more serious tone, Nino looked up at him again. "Believe me, I'm far from being a good person as you may see me as, now. I made mistakes. Horrible mistakes... and all I can do is to try to atone," Sakurai added and if Nino wasn't completely being fooled by his vision, he could see a hint of regret in Sakurai's suddenly sad eyes.

Nino's heart skipped a beat. Not only because he felt the urge to throw his arms around the man in front of him and hug him close to comfort him, but also because he felt his curiosity about that man returning full force. Just when he had kind of decided to accept Sakurai as the one he decided to show everyone around him, he had dropped such a hint, re-enforcing Nino's suspicion that Sakurai was indeed hiding something. But more than wanting to dig it up and serve it to Nagase to distribute it to the world, Nino wanted to truly understand Sakurai, so that he would be able to cheer him up and help Sakurai to find the peace of mind he was searching for.

He wanted to ask Sakurai what happened, he really wanted to, but he also knew that it was too early, that the man probably did not trust him. He had no reason to, after all. He was right, the last time they met, Nino still wanted to crush that man, he couldn't know how much his feelings had changed since then...

"I'm sure, you are a good person," was everything, Nino finally managed to say, trying hard, not to brush.

He sincerely hoped that he didn't sound as stupid as he felt right now, but when he saw Sakurai's face lighting up with a genuine, grateful smile, and Nino's heart stopped beating for a second, he didn't care anymore. It was like Sakurai's smile was everything that mattered now.

"What if you write an article about the importance of such events themselves? Without mentioning my name? Maybe that would help the volunteers and the kids," Sakurai unexpectedly suggested, leaving Nino dumbfounded. "Now, if you would please excuse me, I have a meeting after this and I don't want to be late. It's been nice to see you again, Ninomiya-san," Sakurai then continued, still smiling, when he realised that Nino wasn't really going to say anything anymore. 

Nino wasn't able to. In the end, the actor nodded slightly, wishing the journalist a nice day, as if this was the most normal thing to say to someone who had been trying to ruin your reputation by uncovering the truth behind your past, for the past few weeks. Nino couldn't believe it. He just didn't get it.

Of course, if Nino had wanted to, he could have follow the man around. Maybe, just a few weeks ago, he would have done it. Maybe, if it wasn't about Sakurai but someone else, he would have done it. But at this very moment, he didn't feel like disrespecting a boundary someone just clearly made. He probably would even call himself lucky that he himself was treated with as much respect as Sakurai had treated him, by not being impolite, calling him names, or anything, and even chatting with him for a few minutes without sending him away.

It was enough for now, Nino thought. He shouldn't become greedy. Thus, he repeated the greeting, calling it after the man, and stopped in the middle of the street, staring at the slowly but surely disappearing silhouette of Sakurai.

That man was an enigma, through and through and the more Nino tried to decipher him, the more enigmatic he appeared. The more wonderful he appeared. The more pieces of Nino's heart did he steal, and if this continued, it wouldn't take long until Nino would be fully his.

Damned Aiba and his too smart conclusions, Nino cursed inwardly. He didn't want this to happen. He didn't want to fall for a celebrity, especially not for someone who disliked him. How the hell did he manage to end up in such a messed up situation?! But it was probably too late already. He already was up the creek with no paddle, and passed the point of return.

On his way back home, Nino clenched the small present he had received from the volunteer of the event, that Sakurai participated in, planning to definitely check out their website once he was home. Sakurai had said something really meaningful. Maybe, Nino really could be of help, and offer his skills to them to spread their intentions in the right way. Just like Sakurai was contributing his talent for a good cause.

\- - -

"Matsumoto?"

"Hm?"

"If I told you that this was our last time... what would you do?"

Nino bedded his head on top of Matsumoto's chest, as the two of them were cuddling on the huge hotel bed while watching a late-night movie together. Underneath the bedsheets – of course – they were naked. Matsumoto shifted a bit, and Nino sat up, escaping from the actor's embrace and darted a serious look at him.

"I would raise my eyebrow and ask you, why," the other man replied, doing exactly what he said, adding a slightly surprised smirk on top.

Nino averted his eyes, sighing. "I think I can't do this anymore... I mean, it was great, like always," he added, smiling at Matsumoto for the split of a second, before his look turned serious again. "I think I just can't sleep around anymore and such..."

Matsumoto was still looking at the young journalist – he could feel his eyes on him – and then he circled his arm back around Nino's slim waist to pull him into a caring hug. He smiled at him, friendlily.

"What's wrong? Anything you want to talk about? We're not having anything serious, Nino. It's just to relax. To have fun. Because we're both really good at this," the man stated.

"I know..."

"But you can't have this kind of fun with me anymore?"

Nino paused before he slowly shook his head. "I fear, I can't. I'm sorry."

After looking at his friend for a few seconds, Matsumoto asked, "Did you fall in love?"

It was a question which was not unexpected. From the very beginning, when the two men started sharing a bed on an occasional basis, Nino had made clear, that he would not sleep with Matsumoto, if the latter was in a serious relationship or anything. Even if he used sex as some kind of tool in his job, at times, Nino had his principle. He never used it as something to drive people apart. He never slept with married people or people who were seriously dating someone. He always respected those limits and it was just now that he realised, that he wanted others to respect those limits too, even if... well, he actually wasn't _dating_ anyone. But dating or not, his feelings were becoming serious and he felt like he should treat them in a more respectful way.

"Oh Nino... really? You found a partner? Are you in a relationship?" Matsumoto asked, counting Nino's silence as confirmation. True happiness was lying in his voice as he pressed the other man a little closer like he wanted to congratulate him.

It made Nino's heart constrict a little bit and he shook his head, blushing in embarrassment before he chuckled, bitterly.

"Far from it but I can't help it...," he sighed. "It's stupid, isn't it? Love can't exist for me in _that_ world..."

"You're talking about the showbiz world?" Matsumoto prompted, realization hitting him. "So you fell for one of us..."

"I fear I did," Nino replied, brushing a hand over his face.

"It could indeed become very hard," the other man said, thoughtfully.

"It already is."

"How are your chances?" Matsumoto asked.

Nino chuckled, nervously. "I can't even imagine telling him. And our... _relationship_ is rather problematic, I think."

"Hm...," the actor tilted his head, curiously. "You mind telling me who it is?"

"I'd prefer to try a bit harder before I tell everyone who I'm unluckily in love with," Nino admitted after considering the option. Of course, he was talking about Sakurai Sho – who else – since after his last encounter with that man, he had made up his mind and finally accepted that he was in love with him, and it wasn't like he didn't trust Matsumoto, but he didn't want to jinx anything. Not yet.

"I can understand that."

"Sorry about all this..."

"It's OK, don't worry," the other man laughed. He put his hand from Nino's waist and lifted it to gently pat his hair before he progressed to bring both of his hands back to his own neck, folding them behind his head and leaning against the backrest of the bed. "To be honest, I probably would have talked to you about this the same way pretty soon...," he then added with a tiny smile dancing on his face.

"Oh! Does this mean, you and Ikuta-," Nino caught on, but confused over the now slightly frowning look of his friend, he stopped.

"It's not so easy yet," Matsumoto explained. "We're... getting closer I'd say. At least, he started texting me frequently and just a few days ago he even asked how I'm doing with my _boyfriend_... I think I can count this as a good sign, right?"

The journalist nodded heavily. "He definitely sounds interested, if you ask me."

"Or he's simply curious as fuck," the other man chuckled.

"No no, he's definitely interested," Nino repeated, enforcing. "So what did you tell him about your _boyfriend_?"

"I told him that he's a nice guy but that I'm not sure if things will work out for us," Matsumoto started to explain Nino the status of their fake relationship.

"Did he already offer you a shoulder to cry on?" Nino asked smirking, arching an eyebrow at his friend.

"More or less, yes," the other man replied, biting his lips in a cute way. "And to be honest, with you asking us to end this... I could actually make good use of the situation and try staging a disastrous break-up, crying my heart out in his arms..."

Nino chuckled amused. "You actors are a wicked folk."

"You're not so different from us, Nino," Matsumoto challenged and they both laughed before they fell silent, snuggling closer again and continuing to watch the movie that was still flickering over the TV screen.

"Matsumoto?" Nino started again a few minutes later, turning his head to lock eyes with the other man. He bit his lower lip, a bit nervously. "Would you... I mean... if _this_ comes to an end, can we can still..."

"Be friends?" the other offered immediately, smiling broadly. "Of course we can. We can just text each other meet for drinks once in a while, instead of... you know what."

"I'm banned from the Matsuoka's, you know that, right?" Nino chuckled.

"Too well, I almost received a ban too for sneaking you in," Matsumoto explained.

"Eh?!" Nino sat up, staring at the actor. "I didn't know that! I'm sorry about that, it was completely my fault."

But the other man just shrugged it off. "I chose to take the risk when I let you in, so don't blame yourself. I knew what I was doing."

"You like risks, don't you?" the journalist smirked.

"It keeps me excited, I have to admit," Matsumoto replied, a dangerous glint flashing through his eyes. "Anyway, there are tons of other locations we can meet at, so I'm sure we will be able to arrange something."

Nino offered him a relieved smile. "I'd appreciate that. Really. You might not know, but your friendship means something to me, not only because of our business connection."

"Same. I came to like you quite a lot, little snoop," the actor said, throwing Nino a meaningful wink. "Good luck with your chosen one."

"Thanks, I might need it," Nino smirked, a bit bitterly but grateful for the support, before he leaned closer to place one last kiss on Matsumoto's lips. "Same to you."

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Notes/Glossar:**
> 
>  
> 
> The "Kujira Shokudou" is a real Japanese restaurant (but of course, I "re-designed" it a bit, it seems to be a small shop and does not have any extra rooms like the one I described Ohno is using). I found out about them when googling for an appropriate foodie that Sho would take and seriously, their ramen looks simply delicious!


	5. Chapter 5

Sho had just finished preparing things for the usual trip that he would be taking for the last day of the month ever since he had started working as a professional actor in Tokyo.

Tomorrow, he would get up early in the morning, go buy a few things to bring along, and then drive to his hometown, where he would still arrive before midday. He would meet with that woman, like he always did, and then go to the cemetery to offer his respect. Then, he would pay his parents a visit; spend the rest of the day with them and spend the night at their place, before driving back to his life in Tokyo the next morning, starting a new month with new energy.

This had become so much of a ritual that people might think it must have turned into a conditioned reflex, not holding much meaning anymore, but actually, each and every time, it was still a painful experience for Sho and would probably continue to be. Which was fine. He deserved it.

However, this time, if everything would go according to plan, for the first in a very long time, Sho wouldn't go alone.

The actor had made his decision, whether he would bring that specific person with him or not, rather quickly, and he was waiting for that one last sign to follow through with his plan. It was almost too late, but the sign came. So, the actor was now sitting at home in his bed, the clock ticking towards bedtime. He was about to send a text message that he had thought about carefully for the last few minutes and his heartbeat was racing. He went through everything in his head, for a last time.

If this worked out, Sho would expose himself in front of someone who was neither family, nor a close friend. It was uncertain if that person would even become something similar to a friend or even how that person would react to the whole thing. Sho would expose his past and his darkest side to someone, who was a threat to him and his career just a few weeks ago, but now became the symbol of his complete trust in humanity.

Was it crazy to decide everything on one card, to bet everything he had one number, to trust everything he was and had been to one person, just based on intuition and the words of a stranger?

Probably, yes. It could damage Sho's career to an extent he couldn't quite predict if it went wrong. He could lose faith in people, and he could be thrown back to rock bottom and lose everything he had worked for so hard. But somehow, he hoped, it was worth the risk.

Probably, Ohno was right, and Sho loved danger. But for him, that was fine. Besides being crazy, this would also be a challenge. A challenge for _that_ person, as well as a challenge for himself, and Sho swore to himself, he would survive, no matter how it would turn out in the end. He had survived other things, he had committed mistakes, had been at his lowest and raised up again, atoning for his sins, earning the place in life he was holding now. Whether this whole thing would work out or not, he wouldn't let the world crush him.

It had been a surprise for Sho to meet Ninomiya in town, some days ago, completely by chance, as it seemed. He definitely had not expected the young man to recognise him during the small volunteer event, he had participated in under his alias "Sanada", and so he was simply not been prepared to face the young man at all. Even less had he expected the man to hold a conversation with him as they did, afterwards. Somehow, it had given him hope.

If Sho was completely honest, first and foremost though, it was Ninomiya himself who surprised him the most. He still had in mind the daring, self-confident and cheeky journalist, who didn't even back off from flirting – and kissing - as weapons to reach his goals, so the Ninomiya that Sho had met some days ago had been completely different. Like 180 degrees different.

He seemed friendlier, a bit shyer, and his intentions seemed to have changed completely. He seemed to be much less dangerous for the actor; at least, Sho hoped his guts didn't betray him. He could not be completely sure if all this had just been a tactic to confuse him, or if it was more like the _real_ Ninomiya, Aiba had referred too. Judging from their encounter and listening to his own intuition though, Sho decided that Aiba must be telling him the truth. Ninomiya wasn't such a bad guy.

Sho also really wanted to believe it, because, additionally, this would make him feel much better regarding his confusing feelings towards the man. Probably, he wouldn't think of it as so strange to feel _physically_ attracted to the man, that he might also find interesting as a character. And being honest, he must say that this rather cute and much less aggressive Ninomiya attracted him even more. At least, he couldn't say that he had not enjoyed the spontaneous little encounter with the other man, even if he was first a little shocked and might not be able to show it.

Before Sho decided to fully trust the young man, though, he had waited for one last sign. This eventually came in the form of a message from one of the women from the volunteer project, who happily texted their colleagues about a young journalist offering to help them with presswork as well as their internet representation, on a volunteer basis, in order to properly advertise and spread their good work. Sho didn't need to ask for that journalist's name, he just _knew_ that it must be Ninomiya who offered his service, and the thought that Ninomiya really considered his suggestion made his heart beat a little faster.

With this, Sho had gathered enough proof for putting the _plan_ he had worked on for the last few days, into action. He had stayed in contact with Aiba, so he knew that Ninomiya was still clinging to his job, even if he himself had indeed starting to slowly change for a while. Maybe, it wasn't too late yet for Ninomiya to get off that dangerous path he was walking on, and maybe, everything that the man needed was one last push in the right direction in order not to end up in those dark places that Sho had visited. Aiba said that Sho had the _power_ to make Ninomiya change his mind, and if that was true, Sho wanted to try. He couldn't bear the thought of another person doing the wrong things and maybe end up regretting things that couldn't be undone. Sho might sound like a wanna-be hero, but he really just wanted to prevent Ninomiya from ending like he did.

Sho's plan was admittedly kind of risky, and it had taken him quite a bit of courage to decide on it. He would expose himself, completely, by deciding to trust Ninomiya with the darkness of his soul, and he would hope that it would make the man realise he was currently walking on the wrong path.

After taking one last deep breath, Sho finally tapped the send button on his phone, and continued to stare at the screen. He looked at the time, which was in the upper right corner in little numbers, showing that it was already half past 10. Hopefully, Ninomiya was still awake, or Sho's plan would fail right away. He cursed inwardly for taking so long to write that message, and read it again. It didn't even sound very special, or was especially long or anything. He groaned, frustrated.

On his screen there it was, simply written, "Ninomiya-san, this is Sakurai. I got your number from your friend Aiba. There is something I want to show you. Are you free tomorrow?"

He almost dropped the phone, when it suddenly vibrated, indicating an incoming message.

_"Are you kidding me? Who are you, and where do you know Aiba from?"_

"I'm the real Sakurai Sho," the actor replied, feeling a bit stupid about it, but how else could he -

 _"Prove it!"_ the next message dinged its way into Sho's phone.

He quickly thought about what to do to prove that he was actually _real_ (this was so absurd, somehow), but in the end, he could only come up with one solution.

He started a video call. 

When Ninomiya actually picked up, and saw Sho's face, his expression slipped immediately and it was the journalist, who _literally_ dropped his phone in surprise, then.

 _"Oh holy sh...!"_ Sho could only hear parts of Ninomiya's cursing, the speakers of the phone covered by whatever the man's phone had fallen into, he couldn't help but grin, amused. Then, the phone was picked up again, and Ninomiya – with cutely tousled hair – frowned into the camera. _"Sakurai-san!"_

Sho chuckled, still amused over the other man's reaction. "I told you, I'm the real one. Good evening, Ninomiya-san."

 _"Fuck, I mean yes, OK, you convinced me… go-good evening,"_ the journalist stuttered, obviously feeling nervous.

It caused Sho to chuckle, before something behind the young man caught his eyes. When he realised what it was, he felt his heart jump a little and his cheeks turning warm, and he had to try hard not to grin like a complete fool.

"Is that a poster of _me_ on the wall behind you?" the actor then asked, smirking.

_"What?! That – Don't look at my background, that's embarrassing!"_

It amused Sho immensely to see Ninomiya flushing red and starting to panic right away, turning his head and then quickly standing up, just to change positions. He came to halt in front of what Sho assumed to be the man's bedroom door – at least, a poster less background. The actor bit his lower bottom lip, a question burning on his tongue that – even if he knew the answer already since Aiba told him – he couldn't help but ask, even if it was just to tease the other man.

"I forgot to ask you last time we met but... did you like my signature?"

By now, Sho _really_ was grinning like a fool and Ninomiya could only stare at him, dumbfounded, his face, red like a tomato. When he lifted his free hand and tried to hid behind it, he was looking utterly cute, Sho noticed.

 _"I...,"_ the young man tried to say something, but in the end, nothing more than an embarrassed _"Yes, thank you"_ left his lips.

"You're welcome," Sho replied, satisfied. "I'm glad you like it."

 _"So... What do you want me to see?"_ Ninomiya managed to ask after a short silence.

"I can't tell you yet," Sho said. "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning at 7."

 _"Do you even know my address?"_ Ninomiya frowned at him, confused.

"Aiba told me."

The journalist chuckled, playfully rolling his eyes. _"Of course, he did... Should I even ask how you two ended up being in contact?"_ he questioned rhetorically, before he continued. Apparently, he didn't seem too surprised over his friend's action.

"Let's say you probably have the greatest best friend in the whole world," Sho smiled at the journalist. "So, are we meeting tomorrow?"

_"I have no idea what you are up to, but yes, sure... I'll be ready."_

"Good," Sho smiled, satisfied. "Then see you tomorrow, Ninomiya-san. Good night."

 _"Good night, Sakurai-san,"_ Ninomiya replied.

After Sho hung up, he took a deep breath, trying to calm his heartbeat. That phone call had been surprisingly cute, he thought, but even more important was that things would work. Now everything was settled and there was no turning back. Ninomiya had agreed to meet, and Sho would show him _everything_ , hoping to make something in the man click. He was pretty convinced that it would work, even if there was still a certain amount of risk, and – as Sho now realised – apparently also a hint of fear that Ninomiya could turn his back on him after finding out. But no, he should try to think positive, right? After all, he had made a decision.

\- - -

Sho pulled his car in in front of Ninomiya's apartment complex, of which he had already received the address from Aiba a few days ago. It was looking just like one of those normal, not too expensive, not too run-down places with several units, as seen all over Tokyo. When the man parked his car, he already spotted Ninomiya standing close to the entrance, leaning against a pillar, and apparently dozing off a little. Sho chuckled, wondering for how long Ninomiya was waiting for him in that position.

When the actor stepped out of his car, and approached the other man, Ninomiya seemed to be pulled out of his slight slumber, and immediately stiffened when he saw the other man coming closer. The journalist bowed slightly, wishing a good morning, and Sho gave it back with a smile. Ninomiya was wearing casual clothes again, light blue jeans, sneakers and an opened, short-sleeved navy-white checked buttoned-up shirt over a black tank top. His hair was a bit tousled and Sho had to admit that he was smitten by the stylish but at the same time very cute looking man. Not that this was important now. He was just noticing.

"Where's your driver?" Ninomiya asked curiously, obviously surprised, when they reached Sho's car and he was gestured by the other man to take the passenger's seat.

"I'm driving by myself today," Sho stated the obvious, smirking a little proudly. "You know, just because I prefer to be driven to and from work, it doesn't mean that I don't have a driving license."

Ninomiya pouted cutely, murmuring something like, "I never said anything like that," and then got into the car.

Sho took off, guiding his car smoothly through the streets of Tokyo, heading straight for the next highway. Ninomiya obviously didn't dare to say anything for the first few minutes, but judging from the side-glances Sho could almost _feel_ from the other man, the actor assumed that it was just a matter of time before the journalist would give in to his natural curiosity. He was proven right, when Ninomiya, even before they reached the highway, turned in his seat to face Sakurai and parted his lips.

"Where are we going?" he asked, as if this question had been burning him from the inside.

"My hometown," Sho simply replied, not even taking his eyes off the road.

"And where exactly is that?" the journalist inquired further, the ants in his pants showing as he was shifting nervously in his seat.

"You'll see, when we reach it," the actor answered.

"You are not going to kidnap and kill me, are you?" Ninomiya then asked, chuckling a bit nervously, probably not sounding as convinced as he intended to.

Sho couldn't help but burst into laughter, and for once, he turned his head towards his passenger, who frowned at him, seriously troubled by now.

"No worries, I'm not... a murderer," Sho replied, but _he_ probably also did not sound as convinced as he wanted.

"This is making me nervous," Ninomiya replied honestly, arching a critical eyebrow at the actor before he tried settling back in his seat. Then, Sho pulled up to the highway, finally, taking the Metropolitan Expressway Yaesu Road heading north.

They didn't really talk during their trip, only listening to the radio. A few times, Sho asked Ninomiya if he needed to take a small break to get some coffee or going to the toilet, but except from one small coffee break at about what Sho called halfway of their tour, they just kept driving at a fast pace. Ninomiya must have soon figured out where Sho was heading, as he seemed to carefully take in the highway signs pointing at their direction, because until the very end, Sho didn't give away the answer.

About 4 hours after their start, they finally reached Sho's hometown - Sendai in the Miyagi-prefecture. They drove a couple more minutes through the city, until Sho turned into a residential area and parked his car along the side of a street in a calm neighbourhood.

"Are we here?" Ninomiya finally asked, confused, when Sho showed signs to unbuckle his belt, but the journalist hesitated to do so himself. "Where exactly are we and what are we doing here?"

"I have something to do here. You stay in the car and watch, OK?" Sho just asked.

Then, he reached behind his seat and fetched a bag, which he brought onto his lap to pull out a thick white envelope. He put back his bag and breathed in and out strongly, a few times, trying to calm his raising heartbeat. He hated these moments, but back then, he himself had insisted on doing this, each and every month, to punish himself for what he had done. He'd survive, just like he always did. The only difference was, that this time he had an audience and yes, it made him even more nervous than usual. But he had wanted this, so he couldn't chicken out now.

"What is this all about, Sakurai-san?" Ninomiya urged the actor to explain again, but Sho just gave him a determined look.

"Please, don't say anything, and... don't run away."

"I thought, you did _not_ kidnap me, am I not a free man?" Ninomiya obviously tried to joke with a crooked smile on his lips – maybe to lighten up the atmosphere – and just for a second it worked, and made Sho smile involuntarily.

"Just watch, OK?" he then repeated, almost _begging_ , and if he wasn't busy with being so nervous, he would probably find Ninomiya's back to confused face right now highly amusing.

The actor took a last deep breath before he finally pushed open the car's door and stepped onto the asphalt. He crossed the street with slow steps, heading towards a small, white house with a cute small garden in the front, surrounded by waist high bushes and showing a yellow painted dog house as well as several children's toys spread over the freshly cut lawn. He pressed the doorbell at the entrance to the garden and announced himself through the intercom system. When he heard a buzzing noise, he pushed open the gate to walk up the short path towards the front door, where he pressed another doorbell.

His heart sank into his stomach during the seconds he had to wait until someone came to answer the door, and like he always did, he stepped back and already lowered his head deeply before the door even opened, holding the white envelope, clenched with his hands, out in front of him.

When the door slowly swung open, Sho didn't dare looking up right away, and just kept standing there with his lowered head, before he said, "Takeuchi-san, please accept my poor compensation again for this month!"

The person in front of him didn't move for a few long seconds, until finally, a hand took the envelop from Sho and the young man lifted his head, looking at a woman, dressed in a casual home dress, her hair falling over her shoulders in slight waves, and her age showing in the worry lines all over her face. As always, there was a sad look in her eyes, but as Sho had noticed over the last few months, the disgust and hatred that had been paired with the sadness, had ebbed down a little more, once again. Maybe, he should feel relieved about that development, but honestly, it felt rather like a stab right into Sho's heart. Even if that woman could ever forgive him what he did, it would not decrease the weight of his guilt. He swallowed down a lump in his throat.

"I accept," the woman simply said in a weak voice, before she bowed slightly towards Sho as to bid him farewell, who lowered his head deeply again, and then vanished back into the house.

When the door fell shut with a ridiculously loud clatter, Sho straightened his back again and after another second of breathing calmly, to remind himself that no matter what he did, he couldn't undo what was already done, he turned around to make his way back to his car.

When he spotted Ninomiya still sitting in his car, Sho felt ridiculously relieved. He remembered, that this time, he wasn't alone. Even if the situation was strange, and probably would become even stranger, it had something oddly soothing.

He almost expected Ninomiya to bombard him with questions the second he opened the door and sat back inside of the car, but to Sho's surprise, the journalist simply stared at him with an uncomprehending look. Sho gave himself one more moment to prepare for the following, which wouldn't be less hard than what he had just done, and then he turned to his left, looking straight into Ninomiya's eyes.

"You watched everything?" the actor asked, to start off, even if it was obvious that Ninomiya did.

As expected, the young man nodded, but still didn't say anything.

"And you didn't run away. Thank you for that," Sho sighed, relieved, before he continued. "What did you just witness here?"

"I am not sure...," Ninomiya said in a low voice. He seemed a bit insecure, and nervously averted his eyes.

Sho chuckled softly, crossing his arms. "You're a journalist, what do you think you just witnessed here?" he asked, throwing a slightly challenging look at the man beside him.

Ninomiya tilted his head, before he started summarizing his observations. "I saw you talking to a woman, who lives in this small family house with a dog and one, maybe two or more kids... giving her an envelope. Most likely... money."

"So what's your conclusion?" Sho prompted him, again.

"That...," Ninomiya hesitated for a moment, but then, he just spilled his thoughts. "I think she might be your ex or something and you are paying her to keep quiet about your past relationship and... maybe secret kids?" The man asked, arching a questioning eyebrow at the actor. He still looked utterly confused, maybe even a little worried.

"That's what it must look like for someone who does not have the insight into the situation, right?" Sho sighed.

"Maybe it's just my deduction. I might be wrong," Ninomiya replied.

"Well, you _are_ wrong," Sho confirmed. "But I will tell you the truth."

Ninomiya looked at him, puzzled, and they locked eyes.

"Why?" he asked, his voice almost sounding weak. "I mean... aren't you scared that you are feeding a lion with such information? What if right now I'm recording our conversation and once I get back home I type it down and publish a big revelation about you in the next issue of the "Un[der]cover"?"

It didn't feel like Ninomiya meant what he said and it would also contradict how he acted the last time they met, but Sho understood that being thrown into such a situation must be difficult. The man would be trying to uphold an image, as how he had been defining himself through his job throughout the past few years. It was surely not easy to get out of what became one's daily life. Thus, Sho could not be 100 % sure of how Ninomiya would react to the situation, but he sincerely hoped his intuition wasn't fooling him and that Ninomiya was actually already halfway through the changing process. He had to trust him, he reminded himself. If he didn't even try, there would be no success.

"I know, you're not doing that," Sho simply said calmly. "Last time you offered to write something about my volunteer work, correct me if I'm wrong but it gave me the feeling that you're not interested in publishing something negative about me. Not anymore… for whatever reason. I don't think you will tell anything to anybody if I ask you to keep this information to yourself, right?"

"What makes you believe that? I don't get it... Is that also something Aiba told you?" Ninomiya asked.

"I trust you because I want to believe that deep down you are not one of those hungry gossip tab journalists," Sho said, determined, not breaking their eye contact. "Deep down you are one of those people who are sincerely interested in the truth. That's why you offered to write about my volunteer work, didn't you? And that's why you initially wanted to write about my past. But you are not interested in _destroying_ people, right?"

Ninomiya didn't reply right away, and just kept looking into Sho's eyes, blinking a few times, insecurely. Sho felt like he could see through the man completely, at that moment, having voiced what the other had must been thinking throughout the whole time. Then, the journalist's eyes trailed off a little, breaking their eye contact. He sighed before he finally replied.

"True. I like to get to the roots of things," the man admitted. "It doesn't mean though, that I have to spread all the information that I obtain to the whole world in order to _hurt_ someone... still, theoretically I _could_ sell your story... you shouldn't trust people like me so blindly..."

"But you won't," Sho said once more, determined, shaking his head. Ninomiya looked back at him, sharply pulling in some air. "Because you are a good guy, and you don't want to ruin my reputation, right? I know you do not want to hurt me. That is… if you don't find the truth too disgusting, at least...," Sho finished, before it was his turn to avert his eyes.

"I just still don't get why you chose to entrust something to me out of all people...," Ninomiya asked, biting his lower lip. "Last time we met, you didn't look so comfortable when I found out about your volunteer work..."

"I was surprised to meet you there, to be honest… But just as I asked you to, you did not tell anybody about it, right?" Sho remarked. "Rather, you contacted the volunteers yourself and offered your help."

Ninomiya gasped at the actor, surprised. "How do you even know about that?"

"They told me," the other man explained, smiling, before he shook his head slightly. "But that is not the point right now. I told your friend Aiba already that I believe that people deserve a second chance. _I_ received a second chance after I messed up really badly, and I want to give you a second chance too. So I decided to trust you."

Silence fell over the two men, for a few minutes. Then, Ninomiya swallowed and finally spoke up again.

"Tell me your story, then..."

"Let me show you something else, first, please," Sho said, buckling his belt and after Ninomiya nodded, agreeing, the man started the engine of his car again.

The ride didn't take long, and guided them just a little further into the neighbourhood, until Sho stopped the car again and asked his passenger to get out, together with him. Still confused, but willing to abide Sho's wish, Ninomiya followed him, when Sho entered a small flower shop and picked three white chrysanthemums. Then, they followed the street a little further, before Sho made a left turn, entering the local cemetery.

"This is part of my monthly ritual," Sho finally said, feeling Ninomiya's unspoken questions lingering in the air between them. "I hope you don't mind accompanying me."

"You... you're coming here every month?" Ninomiya wondered.

Indeed, Sho had to admit that it was quite frequent. However, he felt like once a year was not enough, considering the weight of his crime. They continued walking, until Sho stopped in front of a grave, knelt down, put the flowers in a vase after removing the slowly dried old ones, and then brought the palms of his hands together for a prayer. 

"Why are you visiting a grave so often?" the journalist continued asking, after Sho had finished and stood up again, still looking at the gravestone. "Who... who is the person who died?"

Sho took a deep breath, preparing himself. Now, it was time to actually tell the truth. He felt his palms starting to sweat a little, and his heart pounding faster, but he had decided to do this and so he couldn't stop now. He would live through the entire horrible story once more and he would tell Ninomiya everything, every little detail.

"His name was Takeuchi Kouta," the actor finally started to tell. "He was the section chief of the product development department of a famous company here in town, and he liked playing with money. He died four years ago, and left behind a wife and two children."

Ninomiya frowned, the wheels inside his brain obviously working to catch up. "Wait... Takeuchi... isn't that the name of the woman you just visited before? I saw the name on the house plate at the entrance of their garden when we passed it..."

"It is," Sho nodded. "She is the widow."

"Why did you give her money?" the other man asked, still composed, but Sho could see that Ninomiya was turning a bit nervous. Probably, he was already putting together possible reasons and scenarios for this. He was smart after all, and if Sho just told him a few more things, he would probably be able to solve the puzzle by himself.

Sho turned around to face the young man, searching for his gaze. For a moment, he was getting scared, even if he wanted to trust Ninomiya, there was this inkling of a possibility that he would judge Sho for what he did, and maybe even starting to hate him. Sho didn't want that. He _really_ didn't want that, he realised once more, and the imagination of losing his chances, chances that he somehow hoped to have with Ninomiya – with the _real_ Ninomiya, made it hard for him to carry through his plan, at least for a moment.

"Sakurai-san?" the journalist asked, almost in a whisper.

During those few seconds of hesitation, Ninomiya's look had turned from curious and slightly critical, to almost scared, and Sho could see the insecurity taking over the young man. Sho took another deep breath and tried to focus.

"Because it is _my_ fault that her husband died," he finally said, keeping his eyes locked with Ninomiya's, who immediately turned pale.

Silence fell over the place again, the bird's twittering and the sound of the cicadas taking over the summer scene were everything they heard, the noises resounding in the two men's heads becoming louder and louder.

"...What?" Ninomiya finally asked, his voice thick and almost silent. Then he slightly shook his head. "No... you're kidding, aren't you?"

Sho lowered his head. "Unfortunately, I am not."

"But... you didn't really _kill_ anyone, right?" the journalist wanted to confirm, releasing a desperate chuckle before he turned completely serious again. "Tell me you didn't..."

"I am not a murderer," the actor jumped in, trying to prevent the other man from panicking. "At least not by the definition of law," he added.

"What happened?" Ninomiya asked, nervously.

Sho considered reaching out for the journalist's arm, however, in the end, he didn't dare to touch him, fearing he would scare him away. Instead, he decided to tell his story.

"Before I became an actor, I used to work as a stock-broker here in Sendai," Sho began, where he thought it would be appropriate to. "I used to spend my time from 9 to 5 in the office, often longer, and sell stocks to strangers, over the phone. I called them, pretended to be _the best man_ they would ever come across when it came to stocks, and talked them into investing money in stocks and shares, like this would be the ultimate goal to reach with their money," Sho said, remembering his old self.

Ninomiya just continued listening closely.

"I was good at my job, _very_ good and as a result, I was conceited. I could sell them _everything_. And so I did with Takeuchi-san. He was searching for a way to invest money into the future and he thought, stocks would be a good idea. He called our office, and just like the money hungry hyena I was, I smelled a good opportunity for a deal and sold him far more stocks than he could actually effort... first, it seemed to go well for him, but then the stock's value dropped immensely. It wasn't the only time he called and again and again he invested money, he was addicted... In the end, I didn't even need to do anything but listen to what he wanted to do, and I bought the stocks he wanted with his hard-earned money without questioning until..."

"...he went bankrupt?" Ninomiya asked carefully. As expected, he caught up to the situation immediately and by now, he probably could already see where this was heading. Sho sighed and nodded.

"The last time he called me, he was crying. He told me that he couldn't pay his daughter's school fees any longer, that his wife needed to start a part time job to keep the family from starving... it was horrible. But still, I didn't say anything to stop him when he asked me for one last time to invest his last 10,000 Yen," Sho continued. "In the end, he was unlucky again, the stock dropped and he lost everything. I didn't hear from him again, but three days later in the newspaper, I read about his suicide."

Ninomiya took in a deep breath, clasped his hand in front of his mouth, involuntarily and his eyebrows furrowed, for a moment he averted his eyes. Honestly, Sho could understand the man's reaction. It was the worst, Sho had ever experienced.

"It was a huge shock for me too, to be honest," the actor admitted, sighing when the guilty feeling overwhelmed him again. "It's not like it was written that Takeuchi-san's broker drove him to suicide or anything, but the article clearly stated strong suspicion that the man took his own life because he had money trouble and couldn't provide financial support to his family any longer. I was so naïve and selfish, until that day I was only thinking about myself and the money I'd be able to earn. I had no idea that what I was doing could have such a big effect on someone's life. I felt... so horrible," Sho said, thoughtfully, before he paused.

"What happened then?" Ninomiya asked after a few seconds of silence, knowing that the story wasn't over yet.

"Takeuchi-san's wife knew about his addiction of investing in stocks... so I expected her to call our office or send the police, or at least sue me. I expected her to want to crush me and to make me take the responsibility for what I've done," Sho continued. By now, he was slightly shaking, unable to control his body any longer. "But in the end, no police came, no letter from a lawyer came, and the call I feared so much also never came. I couldn't understand why. I couldn't understand why Takeuchi-san's wife wasn't getting to me..."

"You couldn't have known that he would go to such extremes, Sakurai-san, and she must have known that too," Ninomiya suddenly said with a soft voice, unexpectedly coming a step closer. "Also, by the law, nobody would be able to arrest you. There is no law that makes a broker responsible when a client commits suicide..."

Sho nodded, not sure if he could count Ninomiya's statement as simply that, or as a possible support. But even if he would think of Sho as _innocent_ , it didn't matter, for what Sho was seeing himself. Even with years of therapy with Ohno, with trying to make his mind think differently, in the end, he saw himself as guilty. The only thing that changed was that he found a way to keep on living despite the feeling of guilt eating into him. He had apologized, more than once, and he had inflicted punishment on himself. He tried his best to atone, tried his best to help other people where he could, while restricting himself from happiness in other parts of his life. But no matter what he did, the guilt never left him.

"That's right, there is no such law," the man agreed. "But in the end, that's exactly what I did. I was responsible for that man's death because I let him make one wrong decision after the other and did not even try to stop him when I knew that he was about to lose everything, because I was a money-grubbing asshole! By my definition, that was negligent homicide... and all that just for money..."

The actor bit his lip, pausing for a moment. His heart was constricting painfully. It always hurt to think about it. To remember what kind of a man he was back then and to think about how much he hoped he had changed since then, because he never wanted to be like that person ever again. How cold and how heartless he had been. How much he cared for money and how little for the lives of his clients.

"But... you changed, didn't you?" he heard the journalist's voice, and it sounded gentler than he ever expected it to.

"Well, I tried to. You know... Takeuchi-san's suicide was like a wake-up call. Realising that I could have prevented it, but didn't do anything... I couldn't help but feel guilty for what happened," Sho confessed.

"When I fully understood what I did and was still about to do if I kept on doing that job, I immediately quit. You might think, it's ridiculous, but I even changed my name, and with the money I had earned over the years, I left my hometown and went to Tokyo. I couldn't stand myself anymore, I wanted to start anew. First, I didn't know what to do. I was haunted by nightmares, and when I accepted the fact that they would follow me around wherever I would go to, I hit rock bottom. I don't know where I would be today if I hadn't met Ohno – my therapist -... he really did a great job in helping me to continue living and find myself. He helped me to realise that the _talent_ I had been using to deceive hundreds of people in my previous job, could actually be used in a _good_ way."

"You mean your acting talent," Ninomiya concluded and Sho nodded.

"He gave me new courage and showed me how to use and firm up my strengths and I decided to live on and make use of it, as best as I can."

"And so you decided to become a professional actor?" the journalist concluded. "Didn't you fear to be... well, found out and have your career ruined? Did you want to commit career – no - symbolic suicide, if you were found out?"

Sho sighed. He could understand Ninomiya's argument, just too well. But he had his reasons. "I admit it is risky..."

"It's _very_ risky, if you ask me!" the journalist exclaimed, sounding like scolding a friend out of worry.

"I know, but I wanted a job that allowed me to earn a lot of money," Sho explained.

"Wait...," Ninomiya brushed a hand over his frowning face. "Didn't you just tell me that _money_ is what made you into such a _money-grubbing asshole_ , that you didn't even care about your clients? Your words by the way, not mine," he didn't sound judging, but rather confused. "I... I just want to _understand_..."

"I didn't want the money for myself," the actor then continued, causing the other man to frown even more. "I wanted to earn money and offer it to Takeuchi's widow and her children. First, I was able to pay her off with my savings, since, actually, I saved quite a lot... but then I would need another, stable job, to continue providing her with money. I thought that was the least I could do for the family..."

"Are you _crazy_?!" Ninomiya asked, getting more and more worked up. "You said she never called your office, she never accused you, so she probably would have left you alone, but you... what, you went to her, told her "Hi, I'm the one who drove your husband into suicide, sorry about that, here take some money", or what? What if she told the press and exposed you?! That's fucking dangerous!"

Sho, who sincerely had not expected such a strong reaction from the other man, and especially not one that made Ninomiya sound so _worried_ about him, could just stare at him, before he finally collected his words to continue.

"Well... yes, that's what I did. I told her about the situation, I told her I was sorry... and I promised her to provide her and her children with money," he said. "First, she didn't even want to take it... She said that money wouldn't bring her husband back, and she also said that exposing my involvement in the whole thing would not bring him back, either. She simple asked me to live on and to atone for my sins for the rest of my life and never to forget her husband. I promised her, but still, I wanted her to take the money. In the end, I was able to convince her, but only after I told her that I sincerely wanted to help in paying off the home loan and guaranteeing her children financial support for their future education."

Ninomiya hummed, understanding. "So ever since, once a month, you bring her money..."

"And come here to remember her husband and his death, yes."

"Once a month...," the journalist replied, thoughtfully. "That's quite a lot, you know?"

Slightly confused, Sho looked at the other man, wondering, if that was really everything he was concerned about right now, or if there were going to be more questions or statements Ninomiya wanted to drop on him. But the young man didn't say anything for a while. He took a few more steps towards the grave, so that he was now standing right next to Sho, who turned to look at the young man who just stood there, calm, letting his eyes wander over the engraved name of Takeuchi Kouta at the grey, simple tombstone.

The young man's calmness somehow had a soothing effect on Sho. A few more minutes passed without neither Ninomiya nor Sho saying anything, and the actor used the time to reflect a bit onto the situation. If he interpreted Ninomiya's behaviour right, the man would most likely not despise him about his past. However, Sho was still not sure what he really thought about it. His insecurity and the weight of his own confession then hit him once more, and the air seemed to become a bit harder to breathe.

Wishing for the whole thing to come to a proper ending, and to hear more about Ninomiya's thoughts – which for him seemed to be the only ones that counted at this very moment - Sho shyly reached out his hand to touch the other man's arm. His heart was beating faster and he almost feared that Ninomiya would draw back and give him a disgusted look or something similar, but to the actor's relief, Ninomiya did nothing like that. Instead, he just turned his head to look at Sho, softly, a hint of sadness and pity in his eyes. Pity for... Sho?

"So... what do you think?" Sho then asked, nervously, his heart pounding in his throat and making it hard for him to speak at all.

Ninomiya hummed, as if searching for the right words, before he eventually replied. "To be honest, I don't know what to think... I'm a bit shocked."

"I did some pretty bad things in my life, didn't I?" Sho said with a slightly shaking voice.

Sho wasn't even sure what exactly he was aiming for. What was he hoping for? What did he expect to happen now? Did he want the other man to scold him? To hate him? To expose him, just as he deserved? Or did he want him to say something nice to him that would make him feel better? He really did feel bad right now, it was never a nice experience to remember all the things that happened, and it was hard enough to come back to them once a month, but having to explain them to someone else in such details, had been draining. By now, Sho had certainly reached a point at which he would just want to start crying like a child.

All the doubts Sho had pushed away in order to complete his mission – to show Ninomiya how things could turn bad if people – like him – used their talents in the wrong way, as well as challenging his apparently good core, had come back over Sho, as soon as he had allowed his personal desires to show. Yes, besides all those things, in all honesty, he also just wanted to be accepted by Ninomiya. He felt a bit guilty about having those personal motives mixed into the situation, but he couldn't help it. Maybe, after all, he was still a selfish person to some extent...

Probably, if there was ever a real chance for the two men to become friends or something similar, Sho would have ruined it by now. Or maybe, Ninomiya was even thinking about how he could turn his story into the right, best-selling headlines for his tabloid, bringing punishment over Sho, which he actually deserved. Yeah, that was how bad Sho's doubts had become, but no, he still wanted to believe in the young man. He had decided to trust him, after all.

"I... I would understand if you despise me now," Sho continued, pouring all of his doubts into that statement. His heartbeat was hammering almost painfully in his chest.

"No, that's not it," Ninomiya replied, shaking his head. "Rather than that, I simply didn't expect something like that, I guess. I'm surprised."

Sho's heartbeat raised. This still didn't answer his _real_ question.

"No," Ninomiya then continued, unexpectedly, locking eyes with Sho again. "It's true that I'm surprised, I had no idea that you've been someone so completely different before your acting career, but even more than that, I am impressed... you managed to change so much, you basically became a whole other person along the way. Now look at you, you're successfully leading an actor's life, although you had such a past," the young man said. "I think you're a very strong man, Sakurai-san."

Sho just stared at the journalist, dumbfounded. He didn't expect that... Did he understand wrongly, or did Ninomiya actually _praise_ him?!

"I still do have very weak moments. A lot. I still can't forgive myself...," the man then confessed.

Then, something different seemed to come to Ninomiya's mind. "Did you ever think about why the widow of Takeuchi-san does not resent you and doesn't want to take revenge on you?"

Sho didn't reply, just watching the other man, who quickly caught up to tell his reasoning.

"Maybe it's because she does not blame you. At least not fully. I mean... I don't know if your therapist ever told you, but _I_ am of the opinion, that in the end, the one who makes the last decision about committing suicide, is the victim himself, and nobody else."

Sho stiffened, and suddenly, he felt being thrown back to the acting therapy classes of Ohno, the one day when he broke down from his guilt and Ohno was the first one to tell him exactly that. "True... he once said that to me. But I have to admit, that sometimes, I tend to forget those words..."

"It may not be enough to kill that feeling of guilt inside your heart," Ninomiya continued, "But just as we are responsible for our own lives, in some cases, we are also responsible for our own deaths, right?"

The journalist had a point, Sho had to admit, but he didn't seem to have finished yet. His look turned softer now, and then, he suddenly took a step closer towards Sho. He let his eyes drop and then, lifted one of his hands, carefully, even shyly, bringing it up to Sho's chest, placing it on top of it and causing his heart to jump in confusion about what was happening. Ninomiya didn't dare to look at the other man, but Sho could see the serious look on the young man's face.

"I got to know you as a good-hearted man, so I don't want you to suffer from being ridden by this guilt forever, so please, can't you consider trying and... not forget it but forgive yourself? A little bit?"

"It's a hard task..."

"I know, but, you're not alone in this, are you?"

Sho thought about his parents, who – although he had been such a troublesome son for so many years – were always standing by his side. He thought about Ohno, who had pulled him out of his misery and was his supporter ever since. Also Keiko, whom Sho had trusted with everything so that their working together would work out as well as possible. And also Ninomiya, now, even if this might have come quite unexpected.

"I guess I'm not alone."

Suddenly, Ninomiya blushed a little, and as if he was just realising that he was touching Sho, he backed off a little, seemingly embarrassed.

"I-I think you're on the right way," he added, nevertheless, throwing shy glances towards Sho. "You are already doing your best to atone. You deserve to live the rest of your life and enjoy it. At least, that is my opinion. You earned your place."

"What are you going to do now?" Sho just _had_ to make sure... "Are you going to sell my story to your tab? I mean... technically, now, you could. It's not in my power anymore..."

"No," Ninomiya said, thoughtfully before he turned his head and locked eyes with the actor again, this time much more determined. "Never. I won't betray your trust, and I won't take the place you owned for yourself away from you. I promise. You can be sure of my support!"

Upon hearing this, Sho honestly felt like a huge weight fell off his chest and he had to pull himself together, not to burst into tears of relief. He let out a relieved sigh, smiled at Ninomiya, sincerely, and then lifted his face, darting his look up. The blue of the slightly cloudy sky suddenly seemed even bluer than before, and the white clouds were almost blinding Sho's eyes. He blinked away the upcoming tears and then, looked back at the man standing in front of him.

"See?" he then said, chuckling, a sincere smile on his face. "I knew I could trust you."

"That was _really_ risky, though," Ninomiya dared to point out.

"Sometimes, it's worth taking a risk."

"You're a crazy man...," Ninomiya chuckled.

Sho chuckled too, involuntarily. "Thank you, Ninomiya-san."

"For calling you crazy?" the other offered with a shy side-glance at the actor. "Oh, I can do even better."

"I mean it," Sho replied, still smiling. "Thank you. You know what for."

They slowly went back to the car, hopped inside, and once Sho felt ready to go, he took off again. For some reason, the actor found it inappropriate to turn back on the radio, and so, they drove in silence.

"And... what now? Are we driving back to Tokyo?" Ninomiya asked, a few minutes into the slightly awkward situation.

Sho was honestly glad that the other man broke the ice first. He wouldn't have known how to start a normal conversation with him again, just after making such a huge confession to the man. Thankfully, Ninomiya let the topic rest for now. It was, like he had said everything, he had on mind regarding it.

"No," Sho finally replied. "Now, we're driving to my parents. I always pay them a visit after I'm done with this."

"I'm coming with you?! To your parents?!" the journalist exclaimed, staring at the driver, surprised.

"Yeah, well...," Sho scratched his neck. "I always visit them afterwards... I even spend the night there and drive back the next morning."

"We're _staying_ at your parents’ place?!" the other man asked in disbelief.

"It's fine don't worry," the actor smiled. "I told them that... I am bringing a friend."

"I-I don't have toothbrush with me!" the journalist complained absurdly, is if that was a real problem, but Sho just laughed and promised casually, to drop by at the next conbini.

\- - -

When the two men were driving through Sendai, since apparently, Sakurai's parents were living on the other side of the city, Nino allowed himself to let his mind wander, along with his gaze outside the car window.

He remembered the last night and he had to admit that he would have never expected what exactly Sakurai wanted to show him. After receiving the actor's surprise call – and almost suffering from a heart attack upon it – the young man had a hard time finding some sleep last night. He had been tossing and turning in his bed, his thoughts wandering around, and not letting him find any sleep. He tried to think about what could be waiting for him. Maybe it had something to do with Sakurai's volunteer project? Or... was it somehow connected to what Sakurai was hinting on during their last meeting? That he wasn't as good as everyone believed, that he made mistakes... that he had a dark past? But why would he want Nino to know about something like that?

The journalist's natural curiosity went through a lot of scenarios and ever since Sakurai had picked him up in front of his apartment, he had tried to decipher any possible hints the man might give. However, he didn't dare asking too directly, and more or less kept quiet instead. After all, he didn't want to mess up and make the actor throw him out of the car even before he could get a glimpse of whatever it was that Sakurai wanted to show him. However, Nino couldn't stop thinking about the possibilities, his spinning mind continued to keep him awake last night.

Sakurai's secret, that the man actually confessed to Nino in the end, had exceeded everything the journalist could possibly imagine. It was a shocking and sad story, for the man who committed suicide, for the man's family, but also for Sakurai, who was being ridden by feelings of guilt ever since the incident. However, even if Sakurai's involvement in the unfortunate event had surprised Nino, he couldn't help but be impressed over how the ex-broker had managed to transform into the man he was now. A man who was taking responsibility for his acts as best as he could, and became a wonderful actor, who turned the evil use of his talent into something positive, something useful, something that made others happy.

For Nino, all this made the man even more admirable and desirable in his eyes. But in the wrong hands, this story could be very dangerous. People could use it against Sakurai if they wanted, and completely kill his career, and Sakurai surely knew about this risk, or he wouldn't have developed such a secretive way of protecting everything connected to his past. The fact that now he had decided to talk about it, though, made Nino wonder...

He still wasn't sure _why_ Sakurai had decided to tell the story of his past, and even less, why he chose _him_ out of all people to be his listener. Nino and the actor weren't exactly close, they didn't really have a good start, and more than that, Sakurai shouldn’t risk his whole career by telling a _journalist_ all this. He was lucky that Nino had already given up on seeing him as a target for his work at the "Un[der]cover", or the actor would be in big trouble now...

Eventually, Nino thought back to the scene with Sakurai in the "Matsuoka's", where the actor confronted him, pointing out that he thought Nino was wasting his talents. He, of course, had known that Sakurai was against his work, but he had not thought too much of it but rather had felt offended to be told something like that by a stranger.

However, if Nino put two and two together, with Sakurai's remark as well as the fact that apparently, it was Aiba who at least had been in some kind of contact with the man so that he could get Nino's number from him, things started to clear up a little. Aiba wanted Nino to quit his job, as he thought he wasn't happy with it and could do better. Sakurai didn't approve of Nino's way of working and told him he was wasting his talent. In short, the two men shared the same opinion in this respect. Did these two really form an alliance to make Nino quit his job?

Actually, Nino had to admit this wasn't that much of an impossible option. But did Sakurai really go through such lengths to make Nino – an almost stranger - think about his whole situation? Did he fear that Nino would end up in a similar situation like him, which he would probably regret for his whole life?

Indeed, Nino wasn't sure how he would be able to handle it if one of his "targets" from his articles one day would suddenly commit suicide as the consequence of something that Nino wrote. Just the thought of it was horrifying and the journalist had to admit, that he was walking on dangerous grounds, especially with his witty tongue that showed in his writing very well. Maybe, so far, he had just been lucky...

But besides the possible influence of Sakurai's story on his job, was that the only reason why Sakurai decided on telling Nino everything? Since Nino doubted, that there were many people doing this for someone they almost didn't know. The young man almost didn't dare to hope, but was there possibly also another reason why the actor decided to completely trust Nino? Did he like him back, maybe?

Nino tried to ignore that exciting feeling in his chest, not to raise any false hope, but didn't really succeed. Because if he was completely honest, wasn't it that Nino secretly hoped in a little corner of his heart, that there was _more_ between him and Sakurai?

\- - -

Saying that it was a little awkward to be invited to the house of his crush’s parents, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, would be the understatement of the year. However, even if Nino was sincerely surprised, in the end he appreciated that the other man didn't just set him on the next train back to Tokyo, leaving him alone with all his questions and mixed up feelings, but allowed him to accompany him until the end of his "trip".

The young journalist would probably never admit it, but especially after the emotional scene at the cemetery and hearing Sakurai's confession, and the glint of hope that Sakurai might possibly be interested in Nino as well, he felt the urge to spend time with him even more than before. 

Nino's own interest in the man, even if it had been quite deep before, had become even deeper. He had a hard time trying not to explode and confess to Sakurai right away, knowing quite well that today, with all the involved emotions, the actor would probably prefer not to be confronted with the love confession of one of his many fans. But Nino would enjoy his time together with Sakurai to the fullest, after all, this was a once in a lifetime chance and as one of the actor's fans, he could definitely count himself to the luckiest people on earth right now. He would make good use of this and gather as many information and impressions of Sakurai today. Of course, just for his personal enjoyment.

If what Sakurai had told him was true, his friendliness might have been something that only started forming a few years ago, and maybe, he really had been an asshole before the whole incident, but he managed to change and now he was living a life of supporting other people, as an actor, as a volunteer, as a financial supporter, and as a human being. For that decision and for all the good things, he was doing now, and for the courage to confess the truth in front of someone he barely knew, Sakurai deserved a lot of respect, Nino thought. He would avoid writing even just a single word about the whole story, the journalist swore to himself. After all, he didn't wish anymore to write something scandalous about the actor at all. Now, with this secret entrusted to him, he didn't only want not to damage Sakurai's career, he even wanted to support him personally and protect him.

In fact, he even found Sakurai's story very inspiring. Hearing the actor's confession, Nino wasn’t able to ignore the feeling, that some parts of Sakurai's story indeed sounded quite familiar to him. The part about _using his talents for the wrong things_ , or _being an asshole and not caring about other people's lives_... those sounded quite familiar to Nino, and to be honest, over the last few years, he had spotted these tendencies in his own behaviour too – which made Aiba begin to criticise his friend.

Yeah, wasn't he doing the same, basically? He was writing for a tabloid, he was being disrespectful towards the private lives of actors and other celebrities, deceiving them, even using sex as a tool to reach his goals, and all that just for the money he earned. Yes, even if his motivation was not to become rich himself, but rather to pay back his student loan at first, the greed for money and the circumstances of his job had slowly but surely turned him into an asshole. Wasn't it only recently, in fact, for Sakurai's sake, that he had started to think differently about the whole situation? Wasn't it only now that he remembered Sakurai's words, as well as Aiba's, and finally understood that they were clearly meant to make him rethink his life?

In fact, Nino had long lost interest in this kind of job, but he had already changed, definitely not for the best, but changed so that he had even secretly started to despise himself. His best friend and Sakurai were right, he needed to stop, Nino suddenly realised. He needed to change and use his talents for a good cause, before ending up in a similar situation like Sakurai and having to atone for something he would regret for the rest of his life. Maybe, now was the time to take the last step, Nino thought, his brain suddenly feeling clearer than ever before, his heart feeling light in his chest.

Finally leaving the mist of his own thoughts again, Nino turned his head to look at Sakurai, who was still driving them to his parents. When the actor realised that he was being stared at, he glanced at Nino with a questioning look. However, Nino didn't say anything and just offered the other man a shy smile. Sakurai smiled back, a breath-taking smile that made Nino's heart jump, and his new-found motivation boost even more.

Yes, now he knew, what he had to do, and he would do it as soon as he could, he promised to himself.

\- - -

Sakurai's parents, a normal middle-aged couple consisting of a high school teacher and a nurse, were really friendly people and welcomed the stranger as warmly to their place, as they did with their son. When they sat together around the table, enjoying some tea and some roll cake that Sakurai had apparently brought from a famous bakery in Tokyo early in the morning, Nino was overwhelmed by the warm family atmosphere, something that he had missed for years.

He tried to remember when was the last time when he and his older sister were sitting together with their parents around a table, sharing some afternoon tea, happily. He couldn't remember. Everything that came to his mind were the memories of him and his father, struggling to get through their daily lives, spending more time fighting with each other over who was responsible for which chores in the household, since they were both busy with working and studying respectively, than spending some quality family time together. Since the split-up of his parents, the family had split up too and Nino could only see his mother and sister once every few months, if ever. He did not even have much contact with his father anymore, who was drunk whenever his son paid him a visit, which made it almost impossible to hold a proper conversation with the man anyway. Over the years their bond had thinned out even more and for a moment, it made Nino so sad that tears welled up his eyes and he almost started crying.

He tried his best to pull himself together and to hide it, focusing on calming down before anyone would notice what was going on, but of course, Sakurai's mother already had realised that something was off.

"Hey, Dear, what's wrong?" the woman asked, touching Nino's arm gently. "Here, take another slice of cake roll, it will make you feel better," she suggested with a friendly smile, and took the last piece of cake roll from the paper carton to put it onto Nino's plate.

When the young man looked up, just to see Sakurai's disappointed face, who was still stuffing his mouth with a last fork of cake, but was obviously hoping to get his hands on the last piece too, the journalist couldn't help but burst into laughter, a few tears spilling from the side of his eyes in the process. He quickly brushed them away with his fingers and then thanked Sakurai's mother before he took his own fork to divide the piece of cake roll in half and giving half of it to Sakurai. The sincerely grateful smile, the other was flashing him in return, was definitely worth the sacrifice and Nino struggled not to completely melt upon seeing it.

Nino didn't expect it, but apparently, Sakurai's parents – rather than offering him a futon in the living room – had prepared Nino's sleeping arrangement in Sakurai's room, probably expecting their son and his guest preferring to have a _guy's sleepover_ or whatever, over being separated for the night.

The blush on Sakurai's face, which was at least as bad as the one on his own cheeks, gave Nino the second great laugh for the day, but when the actor proposed to take the futon into the living room and let Nino sleep in his bed instead, Nino quickly shook his head. He would be completely stupid if he let go the chance of sharing rooms with his crush, after all! He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible though, when he joked that he would be stupid to refuse sleeping in the same room with a popular actor and that he would even _insisted_ on it. Yeah, even if it was a little awkward for both parties, Nino just couldn't let this opportunity slip through his hands. Luckily, in the end, Sakurai agreed and Nino was allowed to sleep on the extra futon in his room.

That night, the two men ended up talking and talking for hours, and it was like they just couldn't stop. They shared experiences, shared secrets, shared views of different topics. They were basically exploring each other’s minds and souls, and sometimes even allowed to let the other catch a glimpse of their heart. It almost felt, like they had been friends since forever...

Nino told Sakurai about his family and his struggles during high school and university, as well as about how he missed that big chance to work for the newspaper he wanted to work for _so_ badly, after graduation, just to find out, that the actor apparently already knew most parts of the story. It seemed like Aiba had already done his work.

On the other hand, Sakurai went into more details about how he met his therapist Ohno – who turned out to be the man who accompanied him to the ramen restaurant that evening on which Aiba got Sakurai's signature for Nino. It was the first time that Nino heard something about "acting therapy", but he had to admit, that it sounded extremely interesting. With a sincere smile, he summed up, that people should be very grateful to Ohno for having found and pushed Sakurai onto the right way. At least, _he_ was, or he wouldn't be able to spend such a pleasurable evening with the other man now.

They only fell asleep far after midnight, Sakurai already cursing that he had set the alarm clock at around 6, but work was waiting for them and it would be better for both to reach Tokyo sooner rather than later the next day.

The drive back to the metropolis was mostly quiet, as the two men were both still very tired. But they chatted a little once in a while, over whatever their tired brain cells came up with. While Sakurai had at least two cups of coffee to stay awake while driving, Nino couldn't help but slip back into dreamland for about half an hour in between, rocked to sleep by the monotonous movements of Sakurai's car dashing along the highway, and a smooth jazz CD playing in the background.

"Do you want to listen to something else?" Sakurai asked with a smirk when Nino opened his eyes again after his short nap.

Embarrassed, Nino shot up in his seat, blushed slightly and quickly brushing the back of his hand against the corner of his lips, just in case there was some drool or anything that he might need to get off.

"It's not like jazz music bores me, I was just freaking tired," he immediately replied, making himself comfortable in his seat again, and the amused laughter that Sakurai released, made his heart beat a little faster.

"Though...," Nino then continued, when an idea hit him, searching for Sakurai's eyes, who – just for a second – looked at him, questioning. He felt his cheeks turning hot, when he voiced his wish, hoping that the other man would not see him blush. "Do you have your song somewhere? You know... your single?"

Sakurai quickly looked at Nino again, obviously surprised, before he immediately darted his eyes back on the streets before him. He obviously had not expected such a request by his companion.

"You mean _my_ song?!" the actor repeated, dumbfounded. Then, he burst into laughing. "Don't tell me, you like that song?"

"I love it," Nino murmured sheepishly, almost inaudible, his voice drowning in the noises from the car and the jazzy tune surrounding them.

"What?" Sakurai asked, and Nino wasn't sure if the man simply wanted to confirm if he heard correctly, if he didn't hear him at all, or if he wanted to tease him.

"I love that song!" Nino repeated louder, highly embarrassed, his heart beating faster.

Sakurai laughed his beautiful laughter once more, and then, he said something that _Nino_ had not expected, at all.

"You know, you're sitting just side by side with the actual performer of that song," Sakurai said, a smirk dancing on his lips. He glanced at the other man again, just for a second. "What do you think about a small live performance?"

Nino froze. Did he just hear correctly?! Maybe, it was just his wishful thinking that made him hear things, but he couldn't help and asked back, nevertheless.

"You will sing for me?" His heart almost performed a somersault in his chest. "Really?!"

"Sure, why not? I mean, I suggested it, didn’t I?" Sakurai smirked confidently shining through and Nino had to admit that the actor looked simply extremely attractive at this very moment. "It's been a while though since I sang that song, so I don't guarantee that I still get 100 % of the lyrics right...," he added then, his confident smirk turning into an incredibly cute, shy smile.

Nino chuckled and smiled back, his heart melting from the other man's sudden cuteness.

"I can probably help out with that," he said, considering that he had been listening to that song on repeat for so long, that he would probably be able to sing it in his sleep.

When Sakurai _actually_ started his small private concert – just for him and him only – Nino thought he must be dreaming. Being able to hear Sakurai's attractive, deep voice singing live was even a thousand times better than listening to it via headphones, and was just amazing and the young journalist had a hard time not to flip out completely from fangirling over the situation. It was as if one of Nino's dreams was coming true and he swore to himself that he would treasure this moment forever and ever.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Nino didn't know if the trip with Sakurai was only something _magical_ for him, and still, he had no idea, how he deserved experiencing all this, Sakurai’s _trust_ to begin with, but he promised himself that he would treasure those memories and treat them with care for the rest of his life. It had been a trip full of surprises, excitement, embarrassment, filled with old, painful memories for both of them, but also brought them some interesting and touching conversations. Nino was surely not exaggerating, when he said that it had been an emotional roller coaster ride, probably also for Sakurai, but himself for sure.

When they finally arrived Tokyo and Sakurai headed towards Nino's apartment complex to drop him off back home, Nino couldn't help but wish, their time together wouldn't be over already. He wasn't sure what to expect from the future but he knew that he wanted to see Sakurai again.

He really had enjoyed spending time with Sakurai, it was special, and his greedy heart definitely wanted more of it, but of course, he didn't want to push himself onto the other man. Still, Nino hoped that whatever it was that made him and Sakurai share these past hours, wouldn't just come to an end just like that and would make them cross their ways again in the future. 

He remembered the physical tension that he and Sakurai shared during their first and second encounter. The playful flirt at the premiere's after party, even if Nino wasn’t really _serious_ about the actor at that time, their heated conversation in Sakurai's car, and of course, their encounter in the "Matsuoka's", which literally still brought Nino exciting dreams once in a while. Maybe it was just his wishful thinking or the _magical_ atmosphere of their trip, but Nino could swear that during the last few hours, whenever his and Sakurai's eyes met, he could feel a similar tension between them again. He seriously wondered if it was the same for the actor...

Nino's heartbeat was running on high speed when the car's engine was turned off and Sakurai looked at him, _thanking him_ for coming along, and Nino just could dumbly blush and wave his hands, stammering something about _him_ being grateful. He lowered his head in a bow, bumping it against the dashboard in front of him, and his face must have turned into an even deeper shade of red from the embarrassment.

"It would be nice if you neither would hurt yourself, nor my car," Sakurai chuckled cutely.

"I'm sorry," Nino murmured as he unbuckled his seatbelt and they fell silent again. The journalist knew that he should better say something now, or it might be too late, and so, he looked at Sakurai again and although his nervous heartbeat was about to kill him, he finally parted his lips. "Will we... Will I be able to meet you again?"

Sakurai smiled (and was Nino imagining things or were the actor's cheeks actually turning a little red as well?) when he lifted one hand to scratch his neck. He frowned a little and interpreting this embarrassed gesture, Nino already feared the worst coming. His heart fell into his stomach, when Sakurai finally replied.

"To be honest, I am going to be busy for the upcoming period...," the actor explained and Nino bit his lips, already counting this as a full loss, but then, Sakurai added something more. "However, if you are OK with it, I will contact you when I'm free."

Nino stared at the other man, surprised, and his heart jumped back up into the right place, driven by the hope that Sakurai would actually _mean_ what he just said, and that he didn't just use a polite way to dump Nino.

"I-I'd really like that," the young journalist replied, mentally face palming at how stupid his answer must sound.

"Sure. Until then, take care," Sakurai said with another friendly smile on his lips.

Nino nodded, not able to hide his own smile. "You too," he said, before he finally exited the car, and Sakurai drove away again.

Like this, they parted ways, not clearly defining whether they would eventually go back to being strangers or if they would become friends from now, but Nino wanted to believe that the tendency was leaning towards the latter. There was at least hope that he and Sakurai would meet again in the future, after all, even if, according to Nino's understanding, the actor had made clear that _he_ wanted to be the one initiating it.

Nino could understand that, and he took it as a hint on keeping things low and patiently wait for whatever would happen. He could do that. First, before he could step under Sakurai's eyes again, he had to fix some things, anyway. And afterwards, when both of them were ready, maybe they would have the privilege of having a new start together.

\- - -

The cardboard box on Nino's desk, filled with a few personal belongings, magazines and books, was ready to be picked up. His laptop was already stored in his backpack, which was leaning against one of the legs of his desk. Nino himself was sitting in his chair, leaned back, and sipping his tea from a paper cup, while his colleagues were sending him curious and uncomprehensive glances, even if they did not dare to speak up.

The young man was silently humming that song, which was still stuck in his head, letting the taste of white tea with a hint of mango flavour spread in his mouth, his look darted outside of the window of the tall office building, watching the clouds travelling slowly over the blue morning sky.

He took in the clicking noise of keyboard tapping, soft mumbling of his colleagues and the occasional phone ringing, which usually were simply background noises, easy to be ignored, knowing that he would never hear them again – at least not in this place. It did not even make him feel nostalgic, considering that for some reason he had never managed to feel like he belonged here, like he was in the _right place_ to begin with. No, he most likely would not really miss this place or even its people. That much, he understood by now.

Nino had prepared for this moment since he last parted ways with Sakurai a few days ago, determined about what to do, and now only waiting for things to happen. And things _did_ happen, soon enough, when his boss banged open the door, as usual startling his employees – except Nino -, and marched up to him, as he had done so often during the last few weeks.

"Ninomiya, my office!" the man grumbled in his deep voice.

First, Nino didn't react, just taking another sip from his hot drink. His colleagues now didn't only send him furtive glances, but openly stared at him, even ignoring the phone, which started ringing that very moment.

"Anyone just answer the fucking phone already," Nagase barked into the room after four painful rings filled the silent room, before focusing back on Nino. "And YOU, I won't say it again – IN MY OFFICE!"

Nino sighed, slowly placing the now empty paper cup on top of his desk, then he took a deep breath to set himself into the right mind-set, and finally stood up to follow his boss into the said room.

"Oh gosh," he heard one of his female colleagues whispering to her sitting neighbour. "Do you think he'll survive that?!"

"Shh! They still can hear you," another whisper replied.

Closing the office door behind him in his calmest mood, Nino turned to face his boss, who was now standing behind his desk, towering in front of his employee with crossed arms and the look of an angry beast on his face. Yes, he looked _very_ angry, indeed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" the man started raging. "Why do I STILL not have any draft about your revelation about Sakurai Sho? Do you know how long I have been waiting already? Your deadline is due! The movie starts _tonight_ , and we have _nothing_ about him in our hands!"

"There is no draft," Nino simply stated.

Nagase stared at the young journalist, stunned. "What did you just say?" he then said in a lower and calmer, but not less dangerous sounding voice.

Again, Nino took a deep breath. He would lie if he said he wasn't a little nervous, and being yelled at was never fun, but he knew that things would be over soon and decided to stay calm.

"There is no draft and there will be no article about Sakurai Sho," he repeated.

"Are you serious?!" Nagase hissed after staring at Nino for another few seconds.

"Dead serious," Nino nodded.

"What did you even _do_ for those past weeks then?!" the journalist's boss then continued his rant.

"I investigated Sakurai Sho and… found nothing worth telling," the journalist explained his reasons, even if he was of course lying straight into his boss's face. But he had made a promise to Sakurai, and further, he had promised to himself to keep it, no matter what would happen now or in the future. And Nino could be stubborn, people who knew him could confirm.

"So you basically _wasted_ the last few weeks for… _nothing_?"

"Besides all those other articles I provided, I fear, yes."

"You… YOU…," Nagase groaned but seemed to be at a loss of words, still incapable of how to proceed his employee's words.

Nino could only imagine what might be going on in his boss' head now. Nino had disappointed him, for sure, after all, he had been one of his most loyal and skilled _hellhounds_ , as Nagase used to call his journalists. He must be so incredibly angry at Nino for not doing his work properly and letting this _chance_ of making the "Un[der]cover" big on the market by releasing a scandalous article about Sakurai Sho slip by, that he probably wanted to kill and not even bother burying him in a backyard by now.

Knowing, that there would most likely be no moment, which would be more fitting – or less fitting – to do this, but having to do the inevitable nonetheless, Nino swallowed. He prepared himself for one last blow, when he reached his hand into his trousers' pockets and pulled out an envelope, placing it on top of his boss' table.

"I am going to finish packing my stuff and bid everyone farewell, then," the journalist said, bowing slightly before he turned to leave the office. "I've been in your care for years, thanks for… the experience."

Nagase could just stare at the resignation letter in disbelief before he angrily snatched it, crumbling the paper in his hand, his lips crinkling in an unsettling way.

"You're quitting!?" he rambled. " _You_ are _quitting_!? No, no, that's not how it works, Ninomiya, _I_ am going to _fire_ you!"

Nino just nodded once more towards his ex-boss, ignoring the rant, and then reached for the door handle, pushing it open to enter the group office to pick up his stuff from his desk. The door fell shut behind him with a silent clicking noise, but Nagase's following furious "NINOMIYA!" was clearly heard, as if he wanted the walls to shake from the volume of his voice.

The young man just calmly walked to his desk, picked up his backpack and his cardboard box, turned to his colleagues to thank them and say good-bye and then, he walked out of the office, leaving his old job, and his old life.

\- - -

Two months later, after receiving the text message that Nino had been awaiting for what felt like _ages_ for him, the young man was posing in his bedroom in front of his mirror, trying to find the perfect outfit for the evening. He was nervous, even more than expected. Honestly, he was a complete mess.

The bigger mess thought, was his bedroom right now, tons of clothes spread over his bed and the floor, and right now, Nino was wearing only black briefs and a black V-neck shirt. He couldn't even decide on some fucking socks yet, damned! Frustrated, he threw two other pairs of trousers – a worn pair of light blue jeans and some criminally red pants he once bought in a second-hand shop because for some reason that day he was convinced that they would look good on him – onto his bed, hitting someone with one of the trousers' leg.

"Calm down, Nino, you will look fabulous!" Aiba's voice cut through Nino's clouded brain, as his friend jumped up from the bed and went to the closet, pulling out a familiar pair of black leather pants. He pressed them into Nino's arms and nodded to his friend's mirror image. "I think this fit very well with that tight black V-neck shirt. It flatters your slim figure."

"I wore the exact same outfit already, when I went there the _last_ time!" Nino lamented, as if his best friend had just suggested the impossible but started trying them on, nonetheless. "What if he remembers?!"

"Oh, he will _definitely_ remember!" Aiba said, arching an approving eyebrow at the sight in front of him. "He _has_ to!"

"He will think that I'm too poor to buy a second set of clubbing clothes," Nino groaned, rolling his eyes in frustration and pursing his lips at Aiba like a little unsatisfied child.

His friend chuckled, putting his hands onto Nino's shoulders, positioning him with his back to the full-size mirror and nodding appreciating. "Believe me, more than that, he will be thankful to the designer of those pants. Your butt looks fabulous, look!"

"Don't you think it's a bit gross when your best friend tells you have a _fabulous looking butt_?" Nino murmured, but when he turned his head and looked at his backside in the mirror, he had to confess, he had forgotten _how_ well those tight pants actually complimented his butt.

"I told you much _worse_ stuff already, Nino!" Aiba whispered into the young man's ear, as he stepped closer to his friend and teasingly grabbed him on his hips, just to feel Nino smoothly sliding out of his embrace shortly after, who just flashed him with a devilish grin.

"That was when we were still having sex with each other, now it’s different," Nino cooed before he turned to look back into the mirror, starting to wonder about what he should do with his hair.

"Don't remind me of our good old times, Nino, I might miss them," Aiba sighed, sarcastically. "Now finish up and go meet your prince, Cinderella!"

"I don't remember having glass shoes and a pumpkin carriage," Nin snorted.

"But you have the best leather pants in town, so use them!" Aiba wriggled his eyebrows.

"Do I have to be back by midnight, Fairy Godmother?"

"Hell, no!" Aiba exclaimed, shocked. "I rather forbid you to come home at all, tonight!"

"Tousled or straight?" he asked with another look into the mirror, referring to his hair and deciding to ignore his friend's innuendos, although he had to admit that his heart started beating a bit faster just thinking of the possibility of...

"Let me do this," his friend replied and grabbed a bottle of hair gel, opening it and getting ready to prepare the black mess on Nino's head.

"What are you up to, this evening, by the way?" the other asked, while he was standing there, a little lost, letting Aiba fix his hair. After all, his friend would not accompany him later.

Aiba tilted his head, slightly pursing his lips. "Oh, I think I might crash at Tacchon's and... play some board games with him or something like that...," the man voiced his thoughts and Nino grinned, knowingly, when Aiba mentioned the name of that new guy from his working place he had told him about.

"You two are spending quite some time together recently, aren't you?" he asked, cheekily.

"Well," Aiba playfully rolled his eyes, while he brushed his gelled fingers once more through Nino's hair. "Since my best friend has become so busy with writing... You look perfect now, by the way."

"Don't compare your best friend with your crush, Masaki!"

"He's still only a crush, nothing serious!" the other man tried to wave off, but Nino – especially his eyes - couldn't be fooled.

"Tell that to your pants, holy crap!" he exclaimed. "Only _thinking_ of him seems to be enough for you already!"

"What?! He's hot!" Aiba shouted in defence. He pouted, but slightly embarrassed sat back on the bed and grabbed a pillow to hide the bulge in his crotch.

Nino couldn't help but snort at his friend’s behaviour and wish him the best of luck. He deserved it!

\- - -

About an hour later, Nino arrived in front of the "Matsuoka's", feeling like his heart had sunken to his stomach and his stomach was hanging between his knees or something grotesque like that. To keep it simple, Nino was nervous like hell, for several reasons.

The first hurdle would be to actually get _into_ the bar, since just a few months ago, he was banned from it and Nino couldn't imagine that anyone – and surely not this super tall and broad-shouldered, extremely dangerous looking hulk of a door man – would forget about his ban.

With his voice almost sounding like the squeal of a panicked mouse, Nino offered his name to the door man – his real one this time – and added that he was here as the guest of someone. The hulk – dressed in a tight black suit that seemed ready to burst around his shoulders as soon as he just made one wrong movement – eyes the young man critically before he browsed the guest list and finally seemed to find Nino's name written on it.

"Seems like your ban was lifted for tonight," the black hulk hummed – or grumbled, which probably described the sound he was making a bit better. "Watch what you're doing inside there or I myself will ensure that you fly out like a paper plane."

Nino swallowed and nodded, promising that he would behave. When he passed the door man and was just about to enter the bar, the man turned around to him and kept him back with a rather curious, "Hey, where did you buy those pants? They are hot!"

Surprised, Nino stopped, instantly gaining back some confidence and with a wide grin on his face he promised, "Thanks, I'll tell you next time!"

\- - -

Inside, Nino quickly found the way to the bar, nodding at Matsuoka, who was currently polishing some cocktail glasses, before he asked the young man for his order. While looking at Nino with suspicion in his eyes, Matsuoka prepared the wish drink and then placed it in front of Nino with a small grumble. The man nodded slightly while lifting the glass to his lips and took a first sip, the alcohol immediately burning down his throat.

"Huah, that one is a strong one," Nino exclaimed, but when he saw the bar keeper throwing a disapproving look at him, the quickly added. "It's delicious, of course! Very delicious!" and took another – not less burning – sip before he put the glass down on the counter.

Nino looked around, taking in the scene around him. Nothing had really changed since the last few months he had been absent. There were still the same people coming to the bar, the same idols sneaking into the disco dance room next door, after getting some drinks from Matsuoka. Even Jun was here, sitting at a table, surrounded by friends, like usual. The only difference though was that this time, he had a staple of books with him, showing his own face on the cover, and was apparently distributing a couple of signed copies to his friends. Nino turned back to his drink. However, he couldn't help but smile proudly at himself.

"What's so funny?" Matsuoka asked him, grumpily, pulling Nino out of his thoughts.

"Ah, nothing!" the man replied.

"You're behaving suspiciously...," the bar keeper remarked, but then resumed to his duties.

"You know, I stopped," his guest then said. "That dirty business, I mean. I realised that what I was doing is wrong. And now I realised that there are people who supported me in other things, people who believed in me and pushed me back into the right direction," he continued. "I am really sorry for the problems I caused you and I'm grateful to you for agreeing to letting me in again."

"Don't get level-headed," the barkeeper growled. "It's for tonight, only. And I may say, you're quite chatty tonight, aren't you?"

"I'm sorry, it's just… I'm waiting for someone," Nino explained, although he was pretty sure that the owner of the bar knew the guest list and thus, also whom Nino was supposed to meet here tonight. He figured though that a bit chatting with the bar keeper couldn't hurt. "Listen, I feel bad for how I behaved the last time… and it's really nice that you lifted my ban."

"I didn't do that for you, I did it for the one who invited you here," Matsuoka stated coldly. "And for Matsumoto. He's a rascal but he's one of my best customers and a good friend, not only to me. He put in a good word for you."

"Thank you, really," Nino smiled again.

After a second of hesitation, Matsuoka reached for Nino's glass, taking back the cocktail and murmuring something about making a new one for him. Nino chuckled, but didn't even think about protesting.

Not long after he received his new drink – of which he downed about half of it in one go already, just because of his nerves – Nino's wait finally found its end. First, he felt a soft touch on his elbow, and then, when he turned to his right, his eyes locking with those of the one he had been waiting for, his heart performed a somersault in his chest and he almost forgot to breathe.

The man, who was now flashing him the most beautiful smile Nino had ever seen from him, looking even more gorgeous than in Nino's memory, nodded before he greeted him in his deep, friendly voice. "Good evening, Ninomiya-san."

Nino couldn't prevent a pleasant shiver from running all over his body, and he swallowed hard before he finally managed to part his lips and greet his date.

"Sakurai-san...," he stumbled stupidly, unable to say more.

"I see you received my message," Sakurai smirked, finally taking place on the bar stool right next to Nino, and waving at Matsuoka to order a drink as well.

"It caught me in surprise, I have to admit," Nino murmured, taking another big sip of his drink. He probably needed it, he decided, despite his dangerously fast pounding heart.

In fact, he had not met Sakurai ever since the day they parted ways in front of Nino's apartment, after the trip to Sendai, Sakurai's confession and Nino's promise about not spreading his secret. Even if Nino could have called or texted Sakurai – and he had _wanted_ to, several times - he had not done it. Sakurai had told him, that he would contact him, once he was not too busy anymore and seeing on the media, how hard Sakurai was working recently with that new drama series where he was casted as the main lead, it amazed Nino, that the man even had time to text him now. Nino respected Sakurai's boundaries, thus, he had been waiting for _him_ to contact him, and his surprise and excitement over the message he received just two days ago, had then caused him even a sleepless night.

"You look good today," Sakurai complimented Nino, to his surprise. "I recognize those pants, I think," he smirked.

Nino blushed, another sip of his drink gently wetting his throat just a second later.

"Your new job suits you," the actor sitting right next to him continued. "I read your book."

"You read it already?" Nino asked, sincerely surprised. "It just came out yesterday!"

"I pulled an all-nighter because of it and missed my script reading this morning," Sakurai chuckled, before he turned serious again upon Nino's appalled stare. "Just kidding," he waived off. "I read it yesterday and today during my breaks at work and during breakfast instead of the newspaper. It was a very good read! And to be honest, I'm more amazed that you could even publish something like this in what... less than two months? That's really something!"

Nino's heartbeat had by now reached a really dangerous speed, he thought, but he just couldn't help but be happy with the actor's praise.

"I have to admit, I'm a fast writer," the young man tried to act cool and downplay the situation a bit. "And I know the... _subject_ of the book quite well, so to say," he added, nodding his head backwards.

"Do I want to know the details?" Sakurai asked, raising an eyebrow at Nino, who immediately stiffened.

"Probably not."

The actor chuckled, amused. "Anyway, it's a really good book! It's informative, smart, and a lot of fun but not disrespectful. It's charming. It's brilliant!"

"Could you please stop praising me? It feels weird!" Nino begged, trying to hide his red flushed face behind his arm. This was becoming too much...

"But I mean it!" Sakurai cheered, a sincere smile on his lips. "To be honest, I can't wait to read your next one!"

"Uhm... so far it's just a first, and I don't have any real plans…," Nino confessed.

"But wait until other offers come in," the actor smirked at him. "If Matsumoto continues distributing those books at such speed, soon, every celebrity will have read it, and everyone will want you to write a book about them," he joked.

He darted his look back to Matsumoto's table, where said man was still holding up one of the books with his face on the cover, advertising it. If people looked closely, they would find out that the book was actually a biography about the young actor, written by no one else than Ninomiya Kazunari.

"I can see it all over the media," Sakurai continued, making a movement with his hand as if he was tracing out a headline. " _The feared hellhound of gossip turning into the celebrities' most wanted biographer_ , he said, theatrically, before he offered Nino another smile. "I might say, you've come quite a long way and in just such a short amount of time, I'm impressed. Maybe, soon you'll be a best-selling author."

"I'm still writing for a magazine for my main income," Nino explained, taking the last sip of his drink.

"I know, for the "Kinema Junpo", right?" Sakurai asked, causing Nino to look surprised. "I'm reading your reviews. I might say they are much more interesting than your former gossip and I feel quite honoured that you chose _my_ work to review, among others."

By now, Nino wanted the earth to open up and swallow him. The embarrassment was killing him. "I had some things in my drawer...," he murmured, trying to say as casual as possible.

"What was that?" Sakurai chuckled, teasingly.

"I mean, during the time I did research on you... I was kind of addicted to your stuff," Nino then stated, deciding that he didn't really have a reason to hide it. The actor was happy about the reviews, and he read them anyway, as it seemed, so probably, Nino could just admit aloud how much he love the actor's works. "I couldn't help but write my thoughts down, and it just happened, it -"

"It was like a reflex?" Sakurai grinned.

"Something like that, yes," Nino admitted, before another thought hit him, and he blushed again. "Now I even feel a bit guilty that in the end, in some way, I'm... making money _off you_ so to say."

"That's the nature of the show business," the actor declared. "Don't feel guilty for it. _That_ kind of work is very much appreciated."

"Thank you," Nino replied, a bit relieved, however, his heart was still pounding like crazy.

"You want another drink? It's on me," the other man offered then, pointing at Nino's empty glass.

"How can I say _no_ if the great actor Sakurai Sho offers me a drink?" the writer smiled, happily and Sakurai immediately turned at the barkeeper again.

"Matsuoka-san? Two of his favourites, please."

They quickly received their drinks and clinked glasses and Nino – again – took a big sip from his drink. He sighed, satisfied, feeling the liquid running through his veins and tried to imagine that it would be giving him more _power_ , or at least a little more courage to keep the conversation going.

"Congrats on your new drama series, by the way," Nino said, happy to find another topic to talk about with the man next to him. "The first episode was awesome! I can't wait to write a full review once the series finished airing," he said, honestly.

Sakurai chuckled, scratching his neck in a slightly embarrassed gesture. "That's all thanks to the director and the producers –"

"And the brilliant cast. Still as modest as always, aren't we?" Nino smirked, challenging. Apparently, the second drink was doing its work, he noted, grateful.

"I can't help it. I'm nothing without the right crew."

"I appreciate your modesty," Nino said, before they fell silent.

It was that kind of awkward silence again, which the two of them had experienced together already, at least, Nino thought so, wondering, if it was the same for the other man. It was like both of them _wanted_ to keep on speaking, but didn't really know how. Not, that Nino didn't have any ideas what else he could talk about to Sakurai, however, apparently, his drink wasn't able to provide him with enough courage. Surprisingly, it was Sakurai, who decided to speak up first.

"Do you mind some gossip?" he suddenly asked towards Nino, a cheeky smirk on his lips.

The young man arched an eyebrow, surprised. "Gossip? From your mouth?!"

"It could be scandalous," the actor continued, his smirk turning even cheekier. It suited him, Nino noticed, and he decided to hop on the train, wherever Sakurai was planning to bring them to.

"Oh, really?"

Sakurai hummed agreeing and took another sip of his drink. "You might be involved in it."

"Hm… I'm very curious, then," Nino responded.

"I might be involved in it too," Sakurai kept on and slowly but surely, Nino suspected the actor trying to _flirt_ with him (or the alcohol was just expressing him his wishful thinking...).

"Is that so?" the young man asked, trying to sound a bit flirty too.

Then, Sakurai's voice took a more serious tone though, slightly confusing Nino, but when he said, "The really scandalous things are well hidden though, as it seems, or I wouldn't be able to meet you here like that," Nino knew what he was up to. The actor smiled at him, genuinely, and continued. "You really didn't sell my story."

"Of course not," Nino replied immediately, just as serious as Sakurai. "I made a promise, after all."

"I knew I could trust you," Sakurai said again, smiling, seemingly pleased and Nino was ready to melt over that man's smile.

"So… the gossip?" he finally managed to say after a few seconds of silence, and immediately, Sakurai seemed back in what Nino considered to be a _flirty mood_.

Sakurai leaned a bit closer – too close?! - and whispered into Nino's ear, "I wanted to see you," causing him to shiver again, pleasantly.

After swallowing down the lump forming in his throat, Nino tried to respond no less flirty, "I figured, when I received your message."

"No, what I mean is I _really_ want to see you," Sakurai continued whispering; as if he was enjoying the effect his action was having on the younger man.

"Now that sounds as if you actually missed me...," Nino finally replied, also in a whisper, becoming a bit daring, as he started feeling drunk, even if rather from the excitement than the alcohol in his blood.

"I did," Sakurai stated bluntly, locking eyes with Nino, who immediately felt ready to drown in those beautiful brown eyes of the actor. "To be honest, it's been a long while since I got so close to someone and I think it means something…"

Nino figured, that it was his turn now to say something instead of just get being swallowed by Sakurai's eyes. Even if he still couldn't believe that the other man was _actually_ flirting with _him_ and basically just said that he _missed_ him, which made him feel like his heart could explode any second, he tried to sound tough. He wanted to be in no way inferior to the actor.

"Do you even know what you are getting yourself into, if you continue like this?" Nino asked, trying to sound mysterious. "You know, I could cause even more trouble to you…"

"You… made my life more interesting for a while, I'd say," Sakurai chuckled and Nino chuckled in return, feeling the embarrassed blush on his face returning, which he then tried hiding behind one hand. "What about you, did you miss me too?" Sakurai then unexpectedly asked, leaning closer again.

"You want me to be honest?" Nino asked, and they locked eyes again.

"I beg you."

Then, Nino lost it all, not caring anymore about any guard or about any act of trying to be flirty or whatsoever, as he just wanted to tell Sakurai the truth.

"Gosh, you have no idea how much I missed you…," he sighed heavily. "I played with the thought of stalking you again, just to see you."

"But you didn't?"

Nino shook his head. "I respect you. I don't want to bother you. Not anymore. I'm done with that shit," he said, determined.

"I think you should make an exception," Sakurai then said, that adorable and sexy smirk dancing at the corner of his lips again. "I think, I _want_ you to bother me."

"You sure?" Nino gaped at him, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. Could he _really_ hope?!

"Very," Sakurai nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't contact you earlier. I... well, it wouldn't even be a lie if I said that I've been busy, but I also needed some time to think."

"Think about what?" Nino said, his voice almost breaking, as a slight feeling of doubt suddenly started nibbling on him.

"About you and me," Sakurai stated in a calm voice.

The nibbling continued eating Nino's nerves, but somehow, he manages to say, "Did your thinking come to a conclusion?"

Another nod by the actor. "It did."

Nino swallowed again. "What did you conclude?" the man wasn't even sure, if he really wanted to know, but he asked nonetheless.

"That I want you and me to become an _us_ ," Sakurai said, completely unexpected, making Nino widen his eyes in disbelief. Turning a bit insecure, the actor chuckled slightly nervous. "That sounded pretty cheesy, I'm sorry... I'm definitely not as literary gifted as you are..."

"Actually, that was pretty cute...," Nino murmured, sincerely, his heavy heartbeat threatening to kill him.

Sakurai cleared his throat, before he continued. "I completely understand if you are not interested in me like _that_ , I mean, I do have a dirty past, I can be a jerk, I would probably beg you to come visit my parents with me once a month -"

"And I'd love to accompany you," Nino cut the other man's rambling, making Sho breathless for a second.

"What?"

Nino blushed. "Your parents are really nice people and I... like spending some _family time_ once in a while...," he said, sheepishly, but he meant every single word of it, and the hidden message behind them, too.

"Are you serious?" Sakurai asked to confirm.

"Really, I'd love to," Nino nodded slowly.

"So it's not awkward if I say that I want us to be together?" Sakurai grinned, the cutest grin Nino could imagine.

The actor's eyes were filled with sparkles, hope, happiness, affection, desire and curiosity gathering in them among other emotions, and if Nino hadn't already fallen so deeply in love with that man by now, he would definitely do so in that very moment.

"It's not," he said, his lips curling up into a soft smile. "We all have our flaws, but like you said, people deserve second chances. Sometimes even more," he turned more serious. "And if _I_ am really good enough for you, I'd be happy to become your partner."

Sakurai didn't even need to reply, because his next gesture was speaking volumes. He leaned closer to Nino once more, the two of them ready to drown into each other's eyes, Nino's heart was beating so fast, that he feared he was going to faint if he didn't feel one of Sakurai's arms circling around his waist to support him a second later. Then, even before Nino's brain was able to understand what was going on, he could feel the soft brush of Sakurai's lips against his own, inviting him for a long and incredibly soft kiss. Nino moved his one hand up, blindly searching for Sakurai's shoulder, and the other to search his hand and when they met, they intertwined their fingers, pressing each other's hands affectionately.

After what felt like an eternity, and nevertheless much too short, the two men parted lips, just to look at each other again. They both smiled, leaning their foreheads against each other, happily, before Sakurai's free hand went up to Nino's face, cupping it, and before an annoyed Matsuoka could throw them out, he gently pulled Nino closer for another kiss, this time a more passionate one that would surely make the two of them breathless.

And that was just a new beginning.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Notes/Glossar:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Aiba's crush "Tacchon" in the end is Kanjani8's Ohkura Tadayoshi.
> 
> Also a real magazine is the "Kinema Junpo", which originates from Japans oldest movie magazine "Kinema Records" which first issued in the 1910s.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you very much for reading until the very end, everybody! I really hope you enjoyed this fic! I had the chance to try some new things here and it was the first time for me to include three Miya-pairings (even if the focus was on one, of course) in one fic. It was something new but I think I could capture the dynamic of each quite well and hope, you think so too. =) Some of you might be a bit disappointed maybe that in the end, the "real" pairing didn't even "get to do much", if you know what I mean XD Well, in this case, it might be an interesting piece of information for you that I am actually planning to write a continuation of this story, focussing - of course - on Sakumiya and their new, blooming love life ^_~ So if you're interested in reading how things will go in the future for the couple, stay tuned! :D I cannot promise yet when the sequel will be ready, but I hope you'll be back with me once I'm up to post it. ^^
> 
> Further than that, atm, I don't have any other Arashi-related stuff to post, I'm sorry. This year is a bit hard for me when it comes to writing and I was not able to write as much as I planned to, due to various reasons. Anyway, atm, I am writing a little story outside of Arashifandom to finally fulfill a friend's prompt, which I will also upload here once it's ready, just in case you're interested to check it out then. One way or the other, I'll surely be back here and hope to see you guys then, too!
> 
> Thanks for your support and see you next time! 
> 
> Sky <3

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes/Glossar:**
> 
>  
> 
> A "getsu9"-darama (speak "getsukyuu") is a Japanese TV-Series broadcasted in a certain time slot, namely Monday (in Japanese "getsuyoubi") 9 pm, which corresponds with Japanese prime time.
> 
> Oricon is a Japanese charts system.
> 
> I did not mention his name but my image of Jun's former duo partner is Morita Takahiro, who started as a Johnny and member of NEWS, and, as some of you might know, later became part of J-Rock band ONE OK ROCK (which I personally love ^^).
> 
> The "Blue High" is just a fictional movie title, you don't need to search for that, Sho never starred in it for real. (You could see it as a reference to Nino's movie "The Blue Light" though, even if they have nothing in common.)
> 
> Show host Koyama Keiichiro IS the one from NEWS. The title of his show "Talk is the Key" is also a reference to his nickname "Keii(-chan)"
> 
> The title for the possible TV-show "Sakurai Sho ni meshiyagare", Koyama is referring to in the talk show, is of course made up. It's a pun, combining Arashi's show title "Arashi ni shiyagare" as well as the Japanese word "meshiagaru" which is a respectful way to say "to eat" (compared to the more casual/common "taberu").
> 
> The couple of Ikuta Toma and Ueno Juri is a reference to their joined appearance in "Ourouboros".
> 
> Jun's joke about Nino pretending to be a Korean popstar is a reference to Dino, member of K-pop group "SEVENTEEN", who a friend of mine compared to Nino because he's small, very cute and a good dancer (and YES the similarity of his name, AND Nino looking like forever-17, of course!).
> 
> The EXILE reference Juri makes in connection with Nino being introduced only by his nickname is based on the fact that EXILE members use to have a stage name which consists only of their given name written in caps.


End file.
